“Are you okay?”

He rolled on the sheets next to me. A warm, slightly shaking hand grabbed mine and squeezed it gently.

“I am. That was so good.” “Glad to hear that.” I turned my head to look at him. He smiled.

I loved his after-sex smile.

My body felt warm and tired. 

“Do you wanna take a nap?” I nodded and curled up next to him to be the small spoon.

But right before he could tug me in for a hug, some shrill noises made us jump.

“What is that?”

...sunshiiine! I’m walking on sunshiiiine!

Kaami jumped out of bed and stumbled through the bedroom.

“Fuck!”

I sat up and watched him searching everywhere for the source of the noises.

“What’s that?”

“I- that’s my - Fuck! Where the hell are you?”

I furrowed my brows.

“What, babe? What are you looking for? Talk to me?”

All the time through we could hear Walking on sunshine in repeat.

Then Kaami stumbled over our clothes we carelessly had thrown on the floor. His eyes widened. 

“Kaami?”

He buckled down and lifted his jeans.

“FOUND YOU!”

After searching through every single pocket he finally held his hand up.

“My phone!”

“That’s your ringtone?”

“Shhh”, he shushed me and picked up.

“Saab?”

A long silence followed. At first, Kaami just stood in the middle of our room - butt naked - and looked at me. After a few moments, he started walking up and down.

“Yes. When? Thank you - yes, we’ll be there. Bye.”

He stopped right in front of the window and hung up.

“Kaami? Who was it?”

Amongst all the pillows I sat up and watched him gaze out of the window. When he looked back at me, his face was all tense and confused.

“What’s up?”

“It was Cheryl?” “What happened? Is something wrong with Tau?”

“It - it’s -” 

He shrugged, turned to the window again. Was he aware of his own nakedness?

“He will go to a psychiatrist today. Cheryl called to tell us.”

“Oookay. But - baby - that’s something good, right?” “I guess?” Something was wrong and I hated how it made him feel. Sighing I got up to stand beside him.

Looking at the surrounding buildings I recognized the weather. Blue sky. Sunshine. Everything seemed calm and cozy. The trees at the nearby park already started to lose red and golden leaves that glided through the warm air.

Leaning on his shoulder our hands slightly touched.

“I mean” he sighed again and finally grabbed my hand with his long, smooth fingers “she wants us to be there, too. She said we would be able to understand him better.”

“That’s good, too. If we want to foster him properly, we have to know such things.” “Yes.” “Wat’s it then?” I reached for his face, put my palm on his cheek, and gently turned his head to look him in the eyes. It was like looking into the bright autumn sky, but a rather sad one.

“What’s making you worry?”

“It’s” he shrugged. “Nothing in particular. I just am afraid of the things we will get to know about him - about his past and about - urgh!” He lifted his free hand to rub his eyes. 

“You are afraid of the things he will tell us about his former foster dad? Why he hates tigers?”

He nodded.

“I - I don’t know if I can handle this.” 

“I don’t know either”, I shrugged and tightened my grip around his hand. “But we will -  together. I love you and I am sure we will do our best.” “That sounds terribly cheesy.”

“Uhu.” I hugged him from where I was standing - which wasn’t as easy as I had imagined it because Kaami’s shoulder was right in front of my forehead and I couldn’t comfortably lean on him.

“You know what is even cheesier?” “What?” “The fact of you standing in front of our window - naked - and giving everyone else a perfect few of your body.” Almost instantly he froze.

“Uh-” “And - you know I like sharing a lot”, I continued already smothering a chuckle. “BUT - I hate sharing the view of my boyfriend’s perfect body with all the people living here.” “Shh! Babe! Shit! Just - let us -” “What? You wanna wiggle wit-” “Shut up!” He pushed a hand on my mouth and rushed back to sit on the bed. “That’s so-” “Embarrassing? Yes. But also funny.”

When he looked up it was a mixture of madness and self-pity and I finally let out a burst of small laughter.

“Kaami”, I softly whispered. He straightened his back while watching me crossing the room to stop right in front of him. With my chest barely an inch away from his face I placed my hands on his neck and leaned forward. I felt his silky fur under my palms, the twitching of his ears, and listened to his breathing. My lips touched his forehead.

“Don’t overthink things all the time! It will be okay. Okay?” “Okay”, he murmured on my skin and squeezed my body to his.