Dear Aromantic Folks,

You guys don’t get much press, even less than the already obscure asexual people. It’s not fair at all, but it’s something many people are working to change. You guys deserve more love.

I looked up the definition of aromantic when I was first starting to question my sexuality, and the results were surprisingly confronting. “Aromantic (often shortened to aro) is a romantic orientation defined by a lack of romantic attraction.” That quote is from the LGBTA Wiki, and it’s a pretty poor definition if you ask me. “Defined by a lack”. And that’s exactly how it feels, on the bad days at least. It can feel like you’re missing out on something everyone else just has. Like there’s something wrong with you for being yourself.

There’s nothing wrong with being yourself.

I guess that’s why people share stories about how they fabricated feelings for people in the past, they couldn’t be themselves and ‘normal’ so they just chose to hide away instead. Well I’m here to tell you that you’re not normal. Because no one is. Normal just means average and everyone’s average is different. Normal is a stupid idea anyways, differences should be celebrated, the world would be a very boring place if everyone was the same.

But back on topic, that definition is wrong. For one, aromanticism is experiencing little to no romantic attraction so shoutout to aros who experience a little romantic attraction. And for another, who in their right mind would say “defined by a lack” to an audience that’s undoubtedly full of people who are confused and questioning?? It’s stuff like this that reinforces this negative and foolish mindset that you can’t be a whole and complete person without a significant other or by yourself. 

You are your own person, and you are amazing.

So, while it may seem like romantic attraction is the be all and end all, I assure you it’s not. Platonic relationships are just as meaningful, and relationships with friends are just as important. I know it can be hard to remember, but you are a valid person and you are loved. Being aromantic is something you can’t change, the choice you make is to accept or reject the person you are. I hope this spiel helps you in some small way to choose accept.

Thanks,

Phoenix