Shocked and hurting, she’d stumbled from her parents’ house, crawled back home and spent a week laying in bed, sobbing and distraught, thinking her life was over. She’d hated her parents, hated herself, hated her decision to get breast implants, hated the world.
The only thing that had pulled her out of that darkness had been the need to pay her bills. The student loan money had all but run out and there would be no more help from her now-former family. So she’d turned to her online life and sought to monetize it as quickly as possible.
She’d streamed and made videos and picture sets all hours of the day. Keeping her enhanced upper body hidden, she’d developed new content and used all the right angles or strategically-placed costumes to keep her breasts secret. And followers had begun to support her with more than just likes, little by little. That first month, she hadn’t eaten much, she hadn’t gone out, but she had been able to pay her rent and utilities and survive. And for that, she’d taken a measure of pride. For the first time in her life, she’d not only stood up for herself, but stood on her own and made something of her own future.
But she couldn’t keep hiding forever. It was becoming more and more difficult, and the secret, even hidden from strangers on the internet, felt wrong. Plus, job offers were only going to be good for so long. So she’d finally decided to come clean. She’d chosen to ero-cosplay a witch from a new movie coming out, hence the black lingerie. It was simple and it showed the change she’d gone through. And now those pictures were out in the world and everyone’s image of her was changing, too.
Direct messages started coming in on various accounts. She pulled up a messaging page and took a deep breath. “Please don’t be dick pics. Please don’t be dick pics,” she chanted to herself. She clicked on the first message.
It was a small, wrinkled penis buried in black hair. “Hey baby! Yer hot. Lez git you sum of this.”
She rolled her eyes and clicked the next one.
Dark, uncircumcised, shaved. “I know you be wantin some of this D. Bend over and beg me and I’ll give it to ya hard alll nite long.”
Jane sighed. “Great. It’s all going to be dick pics, isn’t it?” She scrolled through messages, opening them one after another at random. “Yep, mostly dick pics. And they’re not even nice dicks.”
Unlike some people, she wasn’t really all that bothered by these messages. Yes, they were crude and had no hope of working on her. And they probably indicated someone of lower intelligence who didn’t understand that there were better ways of approaching a woman. On the other hand, when you put yourself out there in a sexual manner, like she’d just done, it seemed fair to expect that guys interested in her were going to respond in kind.
Honestly, when it came down to it, their response wasn’t really any different in spirit than the guys writing comments with two dozen hearts and flowers in the message, right? She should be flattered that she could make so many men excited enough to do something about it, even though she had absolutely zero intention of ever replying. Like, ever. The pictures were too childish. Which is an unfortunate way to refer to all that genitalia that they were so undoubtably proud of, something they might want to take to heart before repeating. One generally doesn’t want a woman thinking your junk is childish. Unless you’re into mommy types or something, maybe.
Of course, although the positive (if occasionally vulgar) comments coming in were welcome enough, it wasn’t long before the hate came flowing in after it:
Wow. Fake tits. Guess you’re selling out, too, huh?
Ugh, bitch, why??? Were nicer before
I followed you because of your amazing costumes. I thought you were a woman I could admire as a fellow artist. Apparently not. Say hi to Playboy for me, you fraud.
(thumbs down)(thumbs down)(thumbs down)(thumbs down)
And another slut gives into the misogynistic male gaze for the money. Way to sell the rest of us out, honey.
Are you doing porn now?
(vomit) Gross
You gotta plstic cunt two
She tried to ignore these. She really tried. When dealing with the public, you have to toughen your skin, because there are a lot of bad people out there. And she had. And these really were the minority of comments she was getting. Most feedback was from guys going over the moon for her new body, and even from some women telling her she looked even hotter than before. They were encouraging.
And yet, the haters still managed to drive a dagger between her new breasts with each shitty comment. And for some stupid reason, the harsh comments outweighed the good, no matter the ratio. They just stuck in her head and went around and around and made her sick to her stomach.
Maybe she’d still been too fragile to do this. Maybe it had been too soon to come out, after the fallout with her family.
Her phone rang and she picked the cell up off the desk. It was her sister. She lit up and smiled. Her parents had cut her off, but her younger sister hadn’t. She’d been disappointed, but she’d stayed in Jane’s life. And now Jane was eager to talk to someone supportive. She answered. “Susie!”
“Are you fucking serious right now?”
That took Jane aback. “What?”
“I just saw the new post. Mom and Dad were right, you’re just selling yourself now,” she’d scoffed.
Jane felt her spine stiffen. She wasn’t going to take even more abuse. Not from her little sister, too. “Susie, come on. It’s the twenty-first century. Lots of people do this. So the pictures show some skin, so what? It’s no different than some of the other cosplay I’ve done.”
“You just have porn star tits now.”
Jane frowned. “I still get to do what I love: play games and cosplay and go to amazing conventions and I even get to travel to other countries! And I get to do it all myself. I might actually be able to make a career of it instead of working in some lab or office and—“
“And slaving away like some idiot. Like me.”
“I didn’t say that! You can do whatever makes you happy. Can’t I do it, too?”
“What you’re doing is prostitution. That’s gross. It was embarrassing enough telling my friends you were into cosplay back in the day. I can’t tell them this is you now. I don’t even recognize you.”
“Why? Because I got breast implants? So what? How is that any different than makeup? Or a bra that lifts and whose pads add a cup size? You saw how much weight I lost from working out. I needed these.”
“Yeah, you needed them so you can give guys hardons and milk them for cash. Whatever. I don’t want to talk to you anymore. And I don’t think I want to be sisters anymore either. Go live your own life.” The phone clicked off.
Jane stared at the black screen, now devoid of life, just like how her life was now devoid of family.
Comments (0)
See all