The soldiers gave chase like a pack of hungry wolfs. The scent of blood filled their nostrils, charging over vegetation, around trees and fallen logs, their surroundings a blur of woven colours, intermingled with sunshine, beaming through the foliage. Screaming out at the top of their lungs, their eyes locked onto Dealbata’s bounding, muscle laden frame, as he fled through the forest.

By no means could they allow Dealbata to escape. They were gonna kick his ass no matter what, even if they had to bust a gut doing it. They owed Rollim that at the very least.

Dealbata, who had no intention of being captured, ran like the wind, leaving his assailants a short distance behind, running like Whippets, hell bent on pounding his big, green arse into dust. Sticking to his tail like homicidal flies on a humongous green cow pat with legs, all but foaming at the mouths. Why at this rate he’d need a rocket up his arse just to stay out of harms way… Fortunately for him though he didn't have much further to go, before Shinargi's trap could be brought into effect.

Dealbata shot ape like into the air and cleared a large clump of shrubbery, before landing on all fours with almost cat like prowess, darting across the trap and signalling to Shinargi, who was hiding behind a tree to get ready, as Trilikz and the others chased him over the foliage.

Dealbata turned on his heels, made a sudden U-turn and met his pursuers head on. The soldiers hit the dirt, bounced to a halt and stood up straight, eyes full of contempt, unaware that a trap lay hidden just a few yards in front of them.

“You’re in big trouble now dirt wad!” snarled Trilikz, his eyes glowering menacingly. “We’re gonna pound your big, green arse into the middle of next week.”

“Ha, ha, ha, ha! Don’t make me laugh! You losers couldn’t trample a daffodil in a stampede. Making daisy chains is about all you're good for.”

“I’LL TURN YOU INTO A DAISY CHAIN! YOU UGLY, BUCK TOOTHED LUMMOX!” bellowed Org.

“LETS WASTE THIS SCUM BAG!” yelled Nuzuki.

Trilikz, Org, Molix and Nuzuki, burst forth, nun chuc’s flying, knifes drawn, staff raised and sabre swinging.

Dealbata barely flinched, watching as the four soldiers darted unwittingly into his trap.

“NOW!” he yelled, as loud as he could.

Shinargi gave the axe beaten trunk a hefty shove and forced the great tree to topple, lifting the buried net out of the leafs, underneath the feet of the four soldiers, who closed in like lions after a big, green, axe wielding gazelle.

Trilikz, Org, Molix and Nuzuki felt a sudden jerk, as the net closed in around them, sweeping them off their feet in a bluster off leaves, twigs and forest debris, as the axe beaten tree crashed noisily to the Irth, propelling them into the branches with an involuntary yelp, as a clash of heads, limbs and torso’s resulted in the loss of all but Nuzuki’s nun chuc, which tangled itself amongst the net and Trilikz’s staff, which got bundled up between them.

“Don’t look so clever now, do you? Friggin dunder heads.” yelled Dealbata, sneering triumphantly.

"Ha, ha, ha! They're fungus is fried!" laughed Shinargi, emerging from the trees.

The soldiers fought back, struggling to untangle their limbs.

“Great this is all we need.” grumbled Trilikz. “All bundled up like a bag of spuds. “

“You’re telling me. Get your arse out of my face Molix.” growled Nuzuki, struggling to get his head as far away from Molix’s butt as possible.

“Hey shut up fart weasal! You think I want your ugly mug near my butt?”

“I wouldn’t put it past you.” grumbled Nuzuki.

“Oh yeah!”

“Yeah!”

“Oh yeah!”

“Yeah!”

“Right that’s it!!! You asked for it!” snapped Molix, straining with all his might, squinting his rectangular, yellow eyes, clenching his fists, pursing his lips and forcing the vein to throb out of his forehead.

“What the hell are you doing?” asked Trilikz, baffled by the strange noises coming from his friend.

No sooner had he asked however than a huge, flatulent explosion burst forth from Molix’s butt like a premature hand grenade and resounded through the forest like a bomb, filling the trees with stink, leaving Nuzuki in a temporary state of shock and with a ringing sound in his left ear.

“Eeeuuurrgghh! DAMN IT MOLIX!” exclaimed Trilikz.

“WHAT THE HELL DID YOU DO THAT FOR? YOU NEARLY BLEW MY HEAD OFF YOU DIRTY LITTLE RUNT!” screamed Nuzuki.

“Cause you asked for it scum weed.” answered Molix.

“Wow! Never knew you had it in you.” chuckled Org, impressed by Molix’s flatulence, which although not quite equal to his own, was not without merit.

“I’ll teach you to blow your guts in my face, you dirty little stink bag.” growled Nuzuki.

“Damn it Molix! That stinks! What the hell did you eat this morning?” Trilikz winced, trying not to breath through his nose.

Nuzuki turned his head and bit Molix as hard as he could on the arse, sinking his serrated, yellow teeth into Molix’s fleshy, white posterior and chomping down with a vengeance.

Molix gave an almighty howl.

“WHY YOU! THAT DOES IT! Just wait till we get outta here. I’m gonna ram you up that axe weilding git‘s, big, green arse.” threatened Molix, meaning Dealbata of course.

“Ooh I’m so scared.” said Nuzuki.

“WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING UP THERE? YOU LOOK LIKE A SACK OF MACKERAL.” yelled Dealbata, taunting them, as they dangled awkwardly amongst the branches.

"Don't smell much better either." grumbled Nuzuki.

“I TRUST YOU’RE ALL NICE AND COMFY. WE WOULDN’T WANT YOU TO THINK US POOR HOSTS NOW WOULD WE, THAT WOULDN’T DO AT ALL NOW, WOULD IT? HA, HA, HA, HA!”

“SHUT UP YOU POINTY EARED SCHMUCK!” yelled Nuzuki, sporting a butt impeded scowl. “WHY DON’T YOU SHOVE YOUR HEAD UP A DEAD BEARS ARSE?"

“YEAH, IT MIGHT BE QUITE AN IMPROVEMENT.” shouted Molix, who was with Nuzuki on this one.

“NOW, NOW LADIES. THERE’S NO NEED TO BE RUDE.”

“Sounds like someone needs to teach these prisoners some manners.” suggested Shinargi, grinning mischievously.

"I'LL TEACH YOU SOME FRIGGIN MANNERS!" bellowed Org.

“Their social etiquette does seem to be in need of a little refinement.” agreed Dealbata in a mock posh, upper class, English accent. “I mean just look at the little rascals, fidgeting, passing gas, biting each others buttocks, not to mention insulting yours truly.”

“It’s disgraceful.” added Shinargi.

“And after all I did was inquire after their comfort.”

“Shameless, the lot of them.” agreed Shinargi, also in a mock posh, upper class English accent, not quite equal to Dealbata’s own, but amusing never the less, if not a little idiotic. “They’ve got the devil inside of em. You mark my words, the devil’s got them by the goolies and he’s not playing nice. Poor, little blighters, we’ve got to save em Dealbata. We’ve got to flush the nasty little sucker out, before it's too late.”

“And how do you propose we do that?” asked Dealbata.

“Why with a good old fashioned pelting of course. We’ll stone the devil out of em.”

“Ha, ha, ha! Now why didn't I think of that? Nothing like a good old fashioned pelting to flush the devil outta someone.”

“Works every time.”

The villains surveyed the ground, gathering a handful of stones to pelt the prisoners with.

The soldiers looked on helplessly.

Dealbata looked up, eyeballing the captives with glee, smirking from ear to ear.

“Look at them.” he sighed. “Like peas in a pod."

"I hate peas, they’re like boogers, only they don‘t taste as good, I’d rather eat toads.”

“Yeah, at least they got some meat on em.” frowned Dealbata.

“Mmmmm.”

“Forget the peas though, pillocks in a pickle is more like it."

"Ha, yeah, or a big old sack of turds.”

“Turds! Yeah why didn’t I think of that?”

“HEY TURDS! ARE YOU READY TO BE CLEANSED.” bellowed Shinargi, throwing a stone into Nuzuki’s right thigh with a clang.

“YOU’RE THE TURDS!” yelled Nuzuki.

Dealbata went next, hitting Org on the head.

“AAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH!!! YOU DUMB LUG! JUST WAIT TILL I GET MY HANDS ON YOU! I’M GONNA RIP YOU APART!!!"

“HA, HA, HA, HA!!!! This is even more fun than I thought it would be.” chuckled Dealbata.

“Yeah I can hear the devil being purged from them as we speak.” added Shinargi. “Better do it again, too soon to stop now.”

“Of course, it'll take more than a few stones to purge the devil out of this lot.” grinned Dealbata.

That said, they hurled the rest of their rocks into the net, laughing and/or exclaiming after every throw, invariably hitting their marks.

Trilikz took it to the head, foot and shoulder. Org to the head and tail. Nuzuki took several blows to the head, butt, thigh and shoulder. Molix several hits to the back, cap and nose. The last of which caused his eyes to well up with tears.

Yells and a harsh exchange of words ensued.

Shinargi and Dealbata gathered another handful of stones and pelted them again.

“Anyone got any bright ideas? I can’t take much more of this.” whined Molix.

“If I do I'll let you know, only it’s kinda hard to think when you're being pelted in the head with rocks.” replied Trilikz. “If only you hadn’t dropped your knifes, then we could’ve just cut ourselves free."

"Or if Org hadn’t dropped his sabre." added Molix, a little defensively, pointing out that he wasn’t the only one who’d dropped something they could’ve used to cut themselves free, figuring he wasn’t the only one at fault.

"Yeah we could’ve cut ourselves free, if you weren‘t so bloody clumsy.” said Nuzuki.

“You’re one to talk miss slippery fingers.”

“Aye! What’re you talking about? I’ve still got my weapon ain‘t I....!? HEY! ENOUGH ALREADY!! YA FRIGGIN FART WEED!!!!” he yelled, as another stone ricocheted off his head.

“That’s just luck.” said Molix.

“Put a lid on it you two.” growled Trilikz. “See if you can chew through the rope Nuzuki. Your teeth are pretty sharp, it’s gotta be worth a shot.”

“Why me?”

“Cause your teeth are the sharpest dung wad! Now hurry up and chew through the bloody thing.”

“Yeah whatever, I was feeling a little peckish anyway.” grumbled Nuzuki, chomping down on a mouthful of rope, hoping it might taste like noodles.

“That’s the spirit. Besides can’t do any more harm than hanging around here waiting to get stoned to death.”

“Moo riggin righ.” mumbled Nuzuki.