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❈Kun Jung-Hee
Kun Jung-Hee Aparment
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It had been a week since the Micheal situation as I call it. And to be honest, I was surprised myself how easy it was to lie not only to Racheal but also to my mom about that night.
Pretty sure I know what that says about me as a person but truthfully I've made peace with my demons.
Life has continued on, as usual. I ignored any and all calls from Ryan. Now while I may have made a slip in judgment, once was more than enough. I was still working at least 3 jobs and making just enough to make sure we make it to the next month. Asshole landlord still trying desperately to squeeze more money out of me.
Same shit, different days.
What was new however was it becoming increasingly apparent that both Racheal and my mother knew something was different.
And then on one of my rare days that I didn't have a shift in the evening, my mom suddenly came home to find me just finishing off a cigarette.
To say things didn't end well would be an understatement.
The smile that she had on her face dies slowly and the bags in her hands slip from her fingers and plop loudly onto the floor. I, on the other hand, was doing my best impression of a deer caught in the headlights, as I scrambled to put out the cigarette. It is silent for a few long minutes. Thankfully the twins or my younger sister aren't home yet.
"...What is that?" She asks in a voice just barely above a whisper.
I let out a sign as I stand to turn to her. She was still standing in the doorway like a statue. I slowly walk over and takes those bags, her eyes were burning a hole in my head as I walk back into the kitchen
"I asked you a question!"She shouts.
It's not that I didn't want to answer, it's just I honestly didn't know what to say. I just dropped the bags on the table with a sigh.
"Mom.."
"Kun Jung-Hee! Answer my damn question!" She now yells walking to the apartment, slamming the front door.
"...I smoke Mom, for god's sake. I'm an adult, I can make big boy decisions okay?" I said in a sarcastic tone turning to her with an instant flinch.
The expression on her face looked like she just saw a part of her soul die.
"....You know.. that not what I mean.."
My heart dropped into my stomach instantly.
She knew.
I tried to open my mouth but nothing came out. It was like a wave of guilt just pored over me. She just stared at me.
"You know those few years back, I knew something was wrong. I- I had found your cigarettes before. I knew you never smoked before so at first, I was confused. But nothing really changed about you afterward, I-I didn't think it was anything serious. You were always so mature! You were doing so much to try and help me."
I didn't say a word, almost didn't even breathe. I just listened.
"And then one evening, Raquel called to let me know you are in a hospital and I had no idea where you were or had been. God, I'm such a failure of a mother.."
"Mom-"
She raises a hand and touches my cheek gently. I lean into it almost immediately. I've always been really prickly to physical contact with others outside my loved ones. I just miss it. I've been so busy for so long, every little minute like this is good. I just want my family to be safe and happy.
"Jung-Hee"
I slowly look back at her.
"Promise me I won't have to go through that again."
"Mom.."
"Promise me, you will tell me when things get too hard. I'm your mother Jung-Hee, you can't keep trying to take on everything by yourself."
"But your health-"
"I don't give a damn about my health if that means one day I'll wake up and you are dead!"
My mouth shut almost immediately at that. I wanted to respond to her but suddenly the door burst open and the screaming sounds of the twin sounded. Both of us turn to see the twins, Shin and Yu-Ri running up and also Jae-Yun following behind them. Her question expression as she went from mom to me was less than ideal for me. Jae-Yun was much more like Raquel in the sense that if she knows something is wrong she will not stop to know what it is, especially if it involved our family.
"Mom, mom look at what we made today in class!" Shin says holding up a drawing he did in class.
"Yeah, yeah, look at mine!" Yu-Ri also held her drawing with a toothy smile.
My mom bends down with a wide smile.
"Whaaa, look at this little artist of mine!" She said at the twins.
The twin then went into a vivid and long-winded tale of their class which did distract my mother to bring them to the living room. But Jae-Yun's pointed look had me trapped like a moth under a magnifying glass. Her head then nods back to the kitchen just behind me. Her look was clearly written on her face.
We need to talk, now.
I let out a sigh as I walk back into the Kitchen and hear her footstep behind me. My mother smartly as well turned on the tv as well, probably in hopes to give the allusion of privacy for the conversation about to take place.
"What were you two talking about?" Jae-Yun cut straight to the point, her arms crossed over her chest.
I let out another sigh as I throw out my cigarette. At seeing that, Jae-Yun's whole body language changes from curious to furious.
"Hey, Jung-Hee. Are you crazy?"
I didn't answer her as I started to put away the groceries mom had purchased. Jae-Yun's voice remained a controlled fury, never rising over the sounds of the tv from in the living room.
"What happening now? Is it the rent? Is that fucking leech trying to get more again."
"Hey, language." I said with a turn of my head sharply at her crude language.
She let out off an undignified scoff as she rolls her eyes at me.
"Are you ser- fuck my language alright? I ask you a question."
It was at times like this that I wish I didn't tell her more about what was going on. Back when my mother first got really sick, I took over things. Our landlord, Yosef Milton, couldn't care less about where he was getting his money as long as he got it. A slimy and honestly crude man who was little more than a slum lord in most instances. After a stern and illuminating conversation with the man, he understood that he was to talk only to me. I didn't want my mother getting any more pressure on her since I wasn't sure if it wouldn't kill her. So that is how it has gone from there, however as of late Yosef has been getting greedy. I'm almost 100% sure it was because he wanted us out so that he could rerent this crappy place for something more expensive even though it wasn't even worth the amount we were paying.
"It's nothing Jae-Yun. Don't worry about it."
"Brother... you do know I'm not stupid right?" She says in a hiss as she steps a few inches closer to me.
Her anger is expected as she has told me numerous times to she wanted to help to which I stonewall her every time. Even when she threatens to tell mom, I would use the underhanded tactic of saying that it would make mom worry and get sick again. She backs off immediately at that every time.
Terrible? Yeah, I know.
Do I care? Not particularly.
I will do whatever I need to for my family. Even if that means lying to them or even using underhanded means. Jae-Yun may hate me for it, but she studying to become a doctor. Something that she has wanted to do ever since mom got sick the first time.
I pore as much money as needed to make that a reality. My life has been only for my family and will remain that way until we finally are able to live peacefully and comfortably.
That is my only wish and hope in life.
"Jae-Yun, seriously. It's not that big of an issue I promise." I said.
She frowns and stares at me for a few moments in silence. However just as she was about to say something else, my phone goes off. It's Raquel who given that next weekend was the Night Pulse Festival. And whenever she plans events that she knows I'm adverse to, she always checks the week before to make sure I'm still going. Given that she has inadvertently saved me from an unwanted conversation, I will take it every time.
"Raquel? What's up?"
"Yo~ Jung-Hee! Amy and I were hanging out over at Harmonie's! Come over~!" Her voice vibrates loudly as she tried to talk over the noise in her background.
I looked briefly at Jae-Yun who looks frustrated at the interruption.
"Yeah, I'll be there."
Jae-Yun's face slips from frustrated back to annoyed as she knows I'm running away. Sorry Jae-Yun, but this is just one conversation I don't need right now.
"Great! Hurry, there's a performance on going and it sounds like it gonna be great!!"
I mumbled a confirmation before hanging up and almost shyly looking back Jae-Yun. She just lets out a dry laugh, turning her head away.
"...You are such a coward..." She says before just stomping away towards her room.
The sounds of her door slamming do make my heart clench a bit but I shrug it off and grab my coat before going towards the front door.
"Oh, where are you going?" My mother asks almost worried, as she tries to stand up.
"It's okay mom, I'm just going to Harmonie's with Raquel." I said with a reassuring smile.
She doesn't believe it, it was obvious by her face. But she nodded and sits back a bit stiffly.
"...Be safe sweetheart.."
Ugh, this is going to be a rough couple of days. My face doesn't really change but her clear distrust does hurt a bit. But honestly, I can't blame her. And now even Jae-Yun is upset and that girl can hold a grudge for a while.
Things just can't get worst than this right?
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