The dog was returning to its owner.

— You damned underpants! — Shouted Allie, waving his clenched fist in the air. — When I’m back home, you will be recycled!

Smartie snored, rejoicing himself.

The dog turned his muzzle around trying to find who made that sound and just delivered the underwear to his owner – a human. The human was a good-looking man, still fresh and young looking. He had a muscled body from working at the farm, ginger curled hair, bluish-green eyes, tall, and fair skin with freckles. When Smartie saw him, he thought:

“Oh boy…”

— Sausage! — Said the human, looking at the reddish dog. — What do you have there, boy?

The human took it and had a good look at it, admiring the deep mystical purple colors it had, all shining and brand new despite the dog drool.

— It must be my lucky day! This must be worth some pounds! — For one of the rarest moments in the life of that human, he had an idea. — Hmmm! I’m gonna go wearing you to my date later! He will be impressed if I show you!

“Oh my…” thought the underpants, “He’s gonna wear me! He’s going to! I’m gonna faint! Aaaaaaaah!”

The human took Smartie to the washing machine, drier, and left him in the clothesline for some hours. Allie was just observing it from afar and got tired of waiting.

— This is my chance! — Allie tiptoed close to the clothesline.

— Oh no! — Made the garment. — You not gonna get me! Sausage! Come here, boy!

— Bark! — Made the dog from afar. — Bark, bark!

— Not you again! — Allie got scared and hid behind some bushes.

— What’s up, boy? — Asked the human coming after the dog while it was still mad at Allie. — Oh! My new underwear! Almost forgot it! Good boy! Here's a snack!

Sausage was staring at the bushes when got a tasty reward, forgetting what he was doing the next second. The human got Smartie inside and went to do something else, leaving Smartie in his wardrobe. Inside, Smartie was having the time of his life:

— No more green balls! No more green farts! Finally some peace! — He couldn’t see a thing from his optical receiver. — What is taking him so long to wear me? Oh, I can’t wait! Well, even if he leaves me to run out of energy here, I would love to rest in peace here. So comfy and far from those green butts!

— You are not gonna leave me naked on Earth, will you? — Said Allie opening the drawer after invading the human bedroom from the window.

— Oh well… I spoke too soon… kid…

— I’m not a kid! I’m old enough to do whatever I want!

— Listen here, KID, I already left you naked, yes! Now shoo! Leave me alone, green balls!

Allie gets the underwear and puts him on and up.

— Why can’t you leave me alone? — Whined the garment.

— Shut up! — Whispered Allie. — Someone’s coming!

Allie got inside the messy wardrobe. He could barely move inside it, but it was so full he could easily hide his slim frame in.

— Now! — Said the human, with a towel on his shoulder. — Where did I put my new underwear?

He went straight to his drawer and didn’t find it.

— Strange… I swear it was supposed to be right here!

“There’s nothing here for you!” thought Allie, “Go away! Shoo!”

“I’m right here, baby! Save me!” thought the underwear.

— I must have left it… — the human started looking around.

“Not here! Please, not here!” thought the alien.

“Here! Please! Right here!” thought Smartie.

— …in the cupboard!

“Noooo!” screamed Allie internally.

“Yes! I’m all yours baby!” made the underwear circuits.

The human suddenly opened the wardrobe just to find his huge mess all around, not able to realize there was an adult alien right in front of him.

— Uhh… I should clean up this later… — He didn’t clean up that mess later.

The human started to look around, reached inside the big pile, and took a hold of something.

— Gotcha!

“No!” thought Allie, “Not that!”