"To Whoever You are,

I've thought about it. I think you'll be more disappointed, I'm more awkward up against your mystification and poetry. I'm just not good at talking. I'm scared of confrontations with people. Every time it's crossed my mind as to who you are, I just picture it going badly. Even if I write back, even if we meet, I can't promise things will go the way you'll want them to"

~

"Are you ready for the race?" Venus and Angel were eating breakfast together in the cafeteria before their first class of the day. It was relatively deserted with some residents picking up and going. Most ate in class if possible or between classes. They were both morning people with early responsibilities, so it was a good opportunity to sit and talk with no outer interruptions.

"No. We have to wear stupid cupid wings. No one told me about the dumb costumes before I was signed up against my will"

"They're cute! I like them. And when y'all run they flap like real ones"

"You're not the one wearing them. It feels so...middle school. And Jeremiah keeps calling me cupid. And fuckin' around cuz my name's Angel and wings..."

She peels open her yogurt and crushes up a granola bar in the wrapper to sprinkle on top. Angel never thought about doing efficient things like that, he was kind of a simple-minded guy, but Venus knew every hack or DIY to anything. It's how he got his textbooks so cheap: because she knew where and what. "I like y'all's friendship. You get all dorky when you talk about him or when you're near him"

"I'm always dorky"

"Sure, but you get all nervous when he goofs off on you. At first I thought he was like a big brother for you since y'all both are so different, and with the way he treats you" He could agree with the difference. It was wide. Jeremiah was extroverted and welcoming.

          Sometimes he made him think of his cousins and uncles with how he played around: Always loud, howling, in Spanglish, with a cocky grin and ruthless. Jeremiah was way more Latino than he was like that. He drove a truck, listened to Latin indie, banda romantica and corridos tumbados, and sometimes said things that brought out his accent. Angel had a subtle one he allowed on or off depending on who he was with. "but I don't know, it doesn't feel that way up close. It's like he's taking care of you"

"¿Eh, Como? How? Brothers take care of each other" Mild apprehension in his voice.

"Mm, yeahh, but" She shrugged, licking the aluminum lid, "Ion know. I'm just saying it's a little one-of-a-kind. Forget I mentioned it"

"No-no, what d'you mean?"

She eyed him, took the spoon out of her mouth and gestured at him with it, "I wasn't gonna say it, but do you like him?"

He stopped eating, his hold on his fork limp. Angel coughed awkwardly pretending to be really invested on a poster advocating for abstinence. He was going to tell her anyway. Might as well be now since they no one was around.

"I did. In high school. All four years"

"Woah. All four years? Cuatro?"

He nodded, mixing up his rice absentmindedly. "And sure, you could say there're times..."

"Aww" She enthused, getting the message.

"...when we're together the crush..." Angel exhaled, "kind of carries itself over. I wanted to tell you. For awhile. Not about him, that I'm gay. But it felt kind of random, like why do you need to know, y'know?"

"It's cool, Angel. You didn't have to. You're a sweetheart. You're too good to be in a one-sided romance"

He winced, feeling a stab to his dignity.

"Oop—that's not what I meant. I'm-I'm saying that-" She facepalmed, opened her phone up and showed him Jeremiah's account. A picture of him and a girl eating mangonadas and fresas con crema, some others of them at a supplies store or shopping, "He's been hanging out with her, posting each other a lot. Her names Valeria. She's president of the Latinos Unidos Club. He's been helping her with her events, but I think they're going out. I could be wrong? But I think she's into him. I'm in her private story...and she mentions him in there"

He semi-smiled, pulling on a brave face, feigning that this did not affect him in any way, "Don't sweat it. I know what you mean. I respect he's not into men, 'cause even if he was, doesn't guarantee he'd like me. Yesterday he even invited me to go biking tomorrow. I'm used to it. There will be a day where I won't want him anymore"

"At the forest preserve nearby?"

"Yeah"

She held his hand over the table, "I'm sorry, hon. You got Carson, though, too? If you wanted to give him a shot. He's down bad with you"

Angel squeezed her hand, he was okay. Although they had gotten close in such short amount of time, Angel knew Venus was his best friend. He couldn't have resisted her friendship even if he wanted. Venus was a campfire on an autumn evening. The cold side of the pillow on a hot summer in bed. Cereal in it's in-between state when its just after it's prime crunchiness, but not before complete sogginess. If that even made sense. Her super power was making long lasting friendships out of coincidences and accidents. And he was thankful he was one.

"What about you? Speakin' of Jeremiah, he told me you like his vato, Martín. What happened to that girl?"

"I can't tell that fool nothin'. Don't listen to him" Venus grumbled into the palms of her hands, pushing away her tray to make room for her elbows. "It didn't work out with the last girl. And Mars...he's actually a bit of a teddy bear"

Angel wasn't familiar with Martín too well, or Mars as he's called, but he was a huge in height, chubby guy with a personality as gentle as a butterfly. He didn't do any clubs or sports, but Angel had seen him in the weight room frequently. He was into bodybuilding as a hobby.

"Ask him out"

"You ask Carson out"

"Touché"

He hid the way his heart had sunk to his stomach and sagged there like a deflated balloon, hardly pumping. Valeria and Jeremiah. This could be good. He could take his mind off him, give the secret admirer a chance and finally, have a way to move on. Even if on unfavorable terms.