“Did I really fuck up by doing that without telling him?” I thought as Madox got up to go outside. Turning to Liah, I asked “was it wrong of me to try to protect him?”
“Nah, he's just not used to it. So, he probably thinks you did it out of pity or duty as his trainer” she said then added “you should go talk to him. It may help him to vent.”
“Alright” I said and got up to follow Madox outside. Closing the door behind me, I leaned against the door frame in silence for a few minutes before he yells at me.
“Are you enjoying this? If you are then you're no better than Carl. You just use words rather than fists” he says. Stunned, I remain silent not knowing what to say to that accusation. Apparently, I'd been quiet too long because he continued yelling “say something! Why'd you request the change of venue?”
“I had them change it for your safety and to give you a fighting chance. I'm sure if we were at your pack house, I wouldn't be able to protect you all the time and you'd end up in one of the worst positions imaginable for an Omega wolf” I answer without moving a muscle. As I watch, Madox looked like he was fighting himself reminding me of when I was younger. It hurt so much to watch any longer. So, I said “you know it's for your own safety right? No one here is going to dare to do anything to you and you can go wherever you wish without fear. I thought you deserved a little bit of peace given what you deal with during the week and maybe you'll actually be able to sleep at night without worrying about someone hurting you in your sleep at night. Was I wrong to do it without talking to you? Yeah, maybe but as your trainer you need to be somewhere safe. As your friend, I couldn't sit around and watch and do nothing” before turning to go back in the house. As I passed the kitchen, I saw mom watching me but I kept going towards the stairs and up to my room. Closing the door, I walked across the room and flopped face down on the bed as I unleashed my unshed tears. After a few minutes, I heard my door open and closed followed by a gentle hand on my back. Sniffing, I could tell it was Liah and Ty behind me. Sitting up still hugging my pillow, I asked “was it wrong?”
“No, little brother. You did the right thing whether he realizes it or not. No one deserves to go through what you went through and you're trying to save him from that pain. How could that be wrong?” Ty asks gently.
“Ty is right. It was the right thing to do whether Madox realizes it or not. I'm sure if he knew your real reason for doing it he'd understand” Liah says in the same gentle tone.
“No, he can't ever know. I don't want anyone who doesn't already know to find out” I said sniffling.
“It may be a little late for that. Mom went to talk to him. I'm sure he didn't spill anything but he may have alluded to your past” Ty said shrugging and just like that my world crashed around me. Pulling me into her arms, Liah rocked me gently trying to calm me down until I fell asleep. When I awoke the next morning, I could sense someone in the room with me. Rolling over, I found Liah still sleeping quietly beside me. Kissing her cheek, I whispered “thanks for staying with me. Love you” before heading to my dresser for workout gear. Getting dressed and leaving my room, I could've easily found Madox if I'd wanted but I decided to leave him alone instead. Heading to the training grounds, I found Ty, Kyle, and the rest of the warriors already doing stretches.
“Where's Madox?” Kyle asked but I didn't answer followed by Ty asking “are you okay?”
“Yeah and no. I'd rather not talk about it. Let's just spar and then Imma go for a run” I said doing some quick stretches. My brothers knew me well enough to know that going for a run meant I was gonna shift and that when I didn't wanna talk it was best not to push. So, instead they fulfilled my request in a two vs one fashion which as usual caused everyone around us to stop and watch. For some reason, I kept feeling like someone was more focused on me than the rest but I couldn't stop to look. Choosing to rely more on my skills than my werewolf genes, I made quick work of my brothers leaving them sprawled out on the ground several feet away. Glancing around, no one seemed overly interested until I caught a slight movement in the window. Discretely looking, I saw Madox standing in the window watching. Turning my back, I walked into the forest without a word. Halfway in, I stripped my clothes off and headed towards the lake. Curling in to a ball, I lay there for a long time while trying to sort through my feelings when I heard a noise coming from the woods. Keeping my head down to look like I was asleep, I waited to see who or what was coming towards me. To my surprise, Madox stepped out of the forest holding my clothes. Walking towards me, he took a seat beside me.
The next morning, I woke to cheers of a roaring crowd. Getting up, I looked through the window to see Conner taking on Tyler and Kyle in a two vs one fight. As I watched, Conner took them both out leaving them sprawled on the ground a few feet away one after the other. Looking around, he stiffened slightly before his arrogant aura replaced itself seconds before he turned and walked into the forest. Several hours passed as I thought about what to do. Deciding I had to find him and apologize, I left the pack house taking the same route into the woods that he'd taken. As I walked, I found his clothes piled by a tree and decided to take them with me. Picking them up, I walked towards the lake. As I got closer, I saw the form of a beautiful white wolf curled around itself on the banks of the lake. Moving to his side, I took a seat placing his clothes on the ground as I gathered my thoughts. Finally deciding what needed to be said, I took a deep breath to prepare myself.
“I know you can't talk in that form so just listen okay. I'm sorry about my reaction yesterday. I didn't want you to know how scared I was. So, I never intended to tell you about the threats he made. I got even more scared and started to panic when I found out you had moved the training here because I couldn't help but think you wanted to control me. Logically, I knew it wasn't true but my fear over rode my brain and made me say some really stupid shit to you. Only after you'd gone back inside last night did I realize how stupid I was being. It was brought home when your mom came to talk to me. He didn't give me any details but he said this was your way of protecting me from a similar situation you'd been in. I'm sorry I made assumptions about your life up til now and I'm sorry for letting my fear control me.” When I was finished talking, Conner uncurled himself and stood up. As I watched, he carefully gathered his clothes in his teeth before going back in the woods. Dropping his clothes by the largest oak tree, he went behind it and I could hear the sounds of him shifting back before a dark shadow puts on his sweat pants and comes to the edge of the forest. Stopping a few feet from me, Conner stared at me with that stone expression but I could see the pain in his gorgeous emerald eyes.
As I listened to Madox talk, I was forced to make an incredibly painful decision. As he finished apologizing, I uncurled myself and stood up before carefully taking my clothes and heading back into the forest. Knowing it was illogical, I didn't want him to see me naked just then because I already felt very vulnerable that I didn't want him to see me at my most vulnerable. Putting my clothes by the biggest oak tree, I went behind it and shifted back then opting to only put on my sweat pants walked out of the forest. Stopping a few feet from Madox, I took a deep breath to steady myself before I explained what mom had alluded to.
“Mom was right. I was trying to protect you from something I've experienced. I can't and won't stand by if I know someone is in that kind of danger because I won't watch someone learn to live with the pain and self loathing I feel every single day” I said as my stone mask begins to crack and tears fall down my face before continuing “I worked my ass off to never be weak enough for that to happen ever again and until you're ready I won't let it happen to you either.” After a long silence, Madox finally speaks in almost a whisper when he asks “what the hell happened to make you like this?”
“Do you really not understand?” I ask as sobs wrack my body.
“Kind of but I wanna know everything about you, even the things maybe no one else knows because you are my only friend. So, whether you consider me your best friend or not it is what you are to me” he says shocking me then adds “I want to understand you.”
“Do you want me to spell it out in detail or just give you the quick answer?” I asked.
“If you can, I wanna know everything. If you're not ready, then give me the quick answer” he says looking me in the eyes. Taking a deep breath and steadying my voice, I mentally prepare myself for the looks of pity and disgust I'll inevitably see in his eyes before telling him my story.
“When I was twelve, I was being bullied at school and like you I hid it well until one day I met an older boy who I liked very much. He actually saw me and protected me. One day we were walking through the garden of a local park talking as we went getting closer and closer to the edge as we went. At the end of the park there were abandoned buildings and as we got close to them it started to rain. We took shelter under an awning of one of the buildings and stupid me decided to lean on the wall while we waited. A few minutes into the wait, the boy I was with move in front of me and kissed me roughly pinning my arms above my head and using his body to pin me to the wall. After a few seconds, he broke the kiss and forcefully turned me to face the wall being sure to keep me pinned. You can imagine what he did next. Luckily, Kyle and Ty found us before he could force a mark on me but that didn't stop me from trying to kill myself later” I said turning away so I won't have to see that look then added “so you see, I didn't do this for me. I did it for you to keep you from feeling this way” and walked away around the far side of the lake still crying. I didn't return to the pack house that night as I couldn't face Madox or my family. Instead, I stripped and shifted again curling myself into another ball. Several hours passed, when a chocolate and caramel colored wolf with striking blue eyes found me. Licking my face, Liah curled up next to me trying to comfort us as we whined softly in pain that exposing our past and memories had caused. The next few days passed in a numb blur. I had gone back to the pack house the following morning with Liah and locked myself in my room refusing to see anyone except her for the next two days.
Comments (3)
See all