He led me to the park. Then he led me off one of the trails. And after we spent five minutes pushing our way through trees and brush, he led me into a small clearing. A small, beautiful clearing, where I can see the sky perfectly. They're so many stars, and it looks like the moon is almost full. All I can do is stare.
William laces his fingers with mine, his thumb caressing the back of my thumb, and leans against me so half of his chest is against half of my back. I involuntarily shiver, and he smiles. I don't see him smile, but I know he smiles.
"It's magnificent, isn't it?" William whispered.
His breath ghosting over my ear makes me shiver again.
I tilt my head to look at him, an answer on my lips, but the moment I see him, the words die in my mouth. He's beautiful, so, so very beautiful. Of course he is because he's William. He's always beautiful, no matter where he is.
But right now he's so beautiful it's painful. The way he looks in the moonlight, god, it makes me want to cry. That's how beautiful he is. It's such a cliché, I know, but I don't care. Nothing compares to him. Nothing. Not this clearing. Not the sky, or the stars, or the moon. William is the most beautiful thing I have ever seen.
And because of it, him, I'm completely speechless. I can only stare at him with eyes wide and lips parted in absolute wonder. I don't even attempt speaking because I just know I'll end say something stupid that will ruin this. I don't want to ruin this by saying the wrong thing, or by not being able to articulate even simple words.
Would you hate me if I stuttered?
William's smile widens when he sees how I'm looking at him. He knows what's going through my head. I know it's written all over my face, in my eyes. And William has been able to read those just like a book since he met me. He sees right into my head and soul without any trouble at all. I've never been more grateful for that than I am at this moment. I don't need to answer him at all, because he already knows. He knows.
Our lips meet. His lips press against mine firmly, but gently. It's the best kiss of my life. I melt into him, taking his face between my hands to hold him in place. William laughs into my mouth. I greedily swallow the sound. He wraps his arms around my back and deepens the kiss.
He knows exactly what I like. I don't know how, but he does. And he leads me and the kiss until I know what he likes. Then we're together, in sync, giving and taking, pushing and pulling, passive and proactive equally. It's wonderful. We're equal and it's wonderful.
But then William slips his hands under my shirt. The skin-on-skin contact is so sudden and unexpected that I jolt and end up accidently biting his tongue in my surprise. With a small gasp of pain, he pulls back and stares at me. I stare back, embarrassed and terrified that I've really ruined it this time and he's going to make me leave.
"I'm sorry...I'm so sorry."
Would you make me
walk out of the door?
William shakes his head, a small, gentle smile back on his lips.
"Hush Michael. It's all right."
He raises a hand to my face, his fingers ghosting over my skin. His thumb brushes over my lips. I inhale sharply. William's smile widens as he takes my jaw in his hand, angling my head so he can kiss me again. It's better than the last one. His kisses are like a honey that gets sweeter with every taste.
It's not cold out, but I've got goose bumps. I have them because William's hands are back under my shirt. I feel like I'm on fire. His fingers are leaving burning trails wherever they touch me. It's glorious. It's so fucking glorious.
And I'm shaking. I'm shaking and I can't stop. I thread my fingers through his messy curls to see if that helps. It doesn't, so I try running my hands down his chest, over his hips, up his back, on his neck, then into his hair again, still kissing him with everything I have, but nothing works. I keep on shivering. I'm pretty sure I am because I'm touching him and kissing him.
But I'm not going to stop, I refuse to stop. Why would I when I finally have William like this? I've wanted him like this since I first saw him. So what if I'm shaking and can barely think or breathe? None of that matters. Only William matters.
"Are you all right?"
Or, at least that's what I think he asks me since he doesn't stop kissing me when he does.
"You're shaking. Why? Don't tell me you're nervous?"
Are you worried
to discover
all the things about me
you don't know?
"No, I'm not nervous." I laughed, pulling back from our kiss.
I rest my forehead against his, and for a moment, we just stare at each other. My heart is racing, my breaths are coming in little burst, and I'm still shivering. It is the most intense moment of my life.
"What is it then?"
And when I answer, my voice is just the same.
"I...I just really, really want you. So damn much."
I'm so glad the moon is bright enough tonight so that I can see it when a grin flickers across William's face. Then he's kissing me along my jaw, moving up to my ear. I gasp his name and feel him smile against my skin. I'm so overwhelmed by the sensations he causing, I can't think. And it gets even worse, I mean, better, when he takes a hold of one of my wrists, pulling my hand out of his hair. He guides it slowly down his body, making me touch him. I'm already panting by the time his lips reach my earlobe, before he even begins to nibble on it.
"I really, really want you too, Michael." He whispered.
He's telling the truth. I know he is because of where he's led my hand. I can literally feel the proof hard against me.
My brain officially short-circuits, all common sense leaving me completely. My body just takes over. And I let it.
"God, yes."
It sounds more like moan. William chuckles and I smash my mouth against his again to drink up the sound before he can stop.
Everything becomes a blur then. William and I, well...we just become entangled in each other. Our tongues entangled, our breaths entangled, our bodies entangled, our clothes entangled. Everything about us is entangled. There's no coherency and it's beautiful. The only semi-logical thoughts going through my mind are that I never want this to end.
I never want William to let me go.
Keep me, keep me.
Keep me, and keep me.
Minutes pass and we're still kissing. But somehow, we've ended up in the grass. I don't remember when it happened; all I know is that I'm now leaned back against a tree with William hovering over me. Our shirts are off. How or when, I don't know or care. My bare skin on his bare skin feels too good for me to care.
My hands trail down his back. His hands trail up my chest. Our lips never stop moving against the others.
My fingers slowly slide over his back pockets then down his thighs. His fingers quickly undo my jeans before moving on to his own. Our tongues are still dancing together.
I'm dizzy. In the good kind of way. Dazed too. This all feels surreal, like it's not really happening. But I know it is and it's real. Oh, it's real all right. It just doesn't feel like it. It feels like a dream, a very good dream. Or it feels like I've entered another world.
And if I have, then that's okay because William's here with me and the other one wasn't so great anyway.
Overrated, overrated.
I'm jaded in this god damn world.
William breaks our kiss for a second so he can look down and see what he's doing. Or he tries to, but I don't let him. I cup his face in my hands and lean forwards to press kisses everywhere I can reach. On his lips, on his cheeks, on his nose, forehead, jaw, chin, everywhere.
And he lets me, staring at me the entire time. There's an expression on his face that I can't name. I tilt my head to the side, silently asking him about it as I caress his jaw and press a kiss to his right eye. William's eyes suddenly widen and he turns his head away from me. He tries to pull away further, but I stop him by holding him tighter and murmuring soothing words (that probably just sound like nonsense in our haze) in-between the kisses I place on his jaw. It works since he falls back against me a second later, hiding his face in my neck. I feel and hear William sigh before I feel his lips and tongue on my skin.
Can't you see my life
as something more?
We're totally exposed to each other now. My hands are in his hair again, I just can't get over how thick and soft his curls are, and his lips and hands are everywhere on me, trailing down my body. His touches and kisses are light and featherlike, and his hair occasionally brushing against my skin tickles. It's driving me insane with need and desire. He's teasing me. I've never felt anything more wonderful.
And paint me
in a color
you swear you've never seen before.
I'm so far gone. I don't know how much time has passed anymore. I've lost my sense for everything around me that isn't connected to William. The only thing I see is him. The only thing I feel is him, his hair, his mouth, his hands, his skin, his body, touching me and moving with and against me. The only thing I smell is him. The only thing I taste is the sweetness of his mouth and salty sweat of his bare skin. And the only thing I hear are his pants, gasps, laughs, and moans.
Our bodies already have a natural rhythm together. Our pants come faster. Our skin gets slicker with sweat. Our fingers clutch tighter. But I still can't get enough of him. No matter how much I touch and taste and feel, it's not enough. So I hold him tighter, kiss him harder, and run my hands more fervently over every place on his body I can reach. And he does the same to me. The pleasure increases tenfold, but I still crave more.
His touch is addicting. It's like fire. Like magic. Like tangible happiness. I'm in ecstasy, no. I'm in heaven. And William's the only thing keeping me from floating away. He's the only thing keeping me grounded. I...
My body tenses and I shudder, gasping out William's name as he gasps out mine.
Overrated, overrated.
Afterwards, we lay side-by-side in the grass, facing each other, as we catch our breaths. Lazily, I twine a lock of William's hair around my fingers. He watches me through half-lidded eyes, a tiny sated smile on his lips. I can't stop grinning myself. I'm so happy that I can't even begin to describe it.
And William's even more beautiful than earlier. His face and eyes shine in the moonlight. I let go of the piece of his hair to tenderly brush my fingers along his cheekbones and over his lips. My eyes never once leave his. He's so perfect. I want to lay with him like this forever. I tell him that.
Something flashes in his eyes and William abruptly grabs my hand, with a quickness I didn't think he was capable of at the moment. He pulls it away from his face, making me frown. Did I do something wrong?
That thought is tossed out of my mind when he smiles at me sleepily and laces his fingers with mine. I smile back at him and lean forward a little bit to press my lips lightly against his. When I pull back, he follows me. He kisses me again before he lays his head on my shoulder, draping his arm around my torso and molding his body against mine. I wrap my arms around him, beaming up at the night sky.
I now know what it feels like to have everything I've ever wanted. But I don't want or need anything else now that I have William.
In this state of grace,
in this perfect place,
where you see me
in unreality.
He's already fallen asleep. In my arms. In my arms. You don't know how happy that makes me. You have no idea how good it feels to hold him like this. Or how good it feels to have his body pressed against mine like this, sharing each other's body heat. Or how good it feels to play with his hair, to run my fingers up and down his spine, or to just know that he's finally and really mine. But I'll tell you, it's absolutely glorious. I'm still having a hard time believing this is real, that what we just did together actually happened, but it is and it did. And it's glorious.
Though, that doesn't even begin to cover it. I don't think I could be able to describe how completely fantastic it is even if I had a lifetime to. There are no words to describe the feeling I have right now. All I know is that, whatever it is, it's intense, deep, and euphoric, but even beyond that still. I just...
Wait...
There is a word to describe what I'm feeling.
Love. It's love.
I'm in love with William.
Smiling, I press a kiss to his forehead and whisper that to him, even though I know he's already asleep and won't hear me. But maybe it'll make it into his dreams. That's what I'm hoping for at least, that he'll dream about me loving him and that it'll make him love me back.
Please keep me, keep me.
Keep me, and lead me.
Overrated, overrated.
I'm jaded in this god damn world.
Overrated, overrated.
I whisper it to him again and again, until I fall asleep; I want him to love me back so badly.
Long enough to keep me.
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