My heart pounds in my chest as I walk up to William. He doesn't see me since his back is towards me, but Audrey does, and she gives me a malicious smirk.
"Hey, lover boy." Audrey said with a smile.
I glare at her for a second then look over to William, who glanced over his shoulder at Audrey's greeting (if you could even all it that). He looks at me passively, like nothing ever happened between us.
Like I don't mean anything to him.
"We need to talk." I said trying to ignore how much that thought hurts me.
A glint appears in William's eyes as he cocks an eyebrow at me.
"We do?" His voice is amused.
"Yes."
I see the corner of his mouths twitch upwards, like he's trying not to smile. He doesn't think this is serious. It makes me angry.
"All right, then. See you, Audrey."
William then turns and starts walking down the hall, motioning for me to follow. I glare at his back. I don't want to follow him, I'm sick of doing things because of him or because he tells me too. But I really have no choice right now if I want to talk to him, and he knows that. I can see it in his smirk when he glances back at me, along with his amusement. Goddamn it. I clench my fists and follow him.
He leads me into an empty classroom, closing the door behind us. At least he has that much decency.
Or...maybe not.
I look at the way he leans up against one of the desk, his arms behind his back, supporting him, and his ankles crossed. His eyes are cool, his face smug. He looks completely at ease. It's the exact opposite of me. I'm uncomfortable, anxious, and upset. And he's enjoying seeing me like this, I can tell. I bet he brought me here just because he doesn't want anyone else to see me like this; he wants to be the only one.
And the worst part about it is that while it makes me dislike him more, it doesn't make me love him less. I'm still irrationally attracted to him and in love with him.
"Well, Michael. What do you need to talk to me about?"
I narrow my eyes at him.
"Don't play dumb, you know exactly what. Why did you just leave me in the clearing and then completely ignore me afterwards?"
"I thought that was obvious."
"Well, it's not. Humor me." I said barely holding onto my patience.
"I've been doing that."
I frown at him, not sure what he means, but he doesn't notice.
"But, all right."
He tilts his head to the side, a ghost of a smile on his lips.
"I left because there was no point in staying; I'd gotten what I wanted."
A lead weight drops down into my stomach and my hearts jumps up in my throat.
"What?"
I hate how my voice comes out in a whisper.
"I just wanted to get off. That was all it was about." He said flippantly.
I stare at him, my eyes wide. To hear him say that, it makes me feel like someone is shredding my soul to pieces. It hurts...like hell...but... I'm not surprised. Deep down, I knew this already. Or assumed it. But I still don't understand why, because...because...
"I thought you liked me." I said pathetically.
"Oh, I did. Just not that much, you see." He said giving me an earnest look.
Confused and unwilling to accept that, I frown and shake my head.
"Then what was the point? Why waste all that time talking to me and spending time with me if you didn't even like me that much?"
"I already told you. To fool around." He said sighing exasperatedly.
"What the fuck?! How could you do something like that!?" I shouted at him.
"Well, you made it rather easy."
William pushes himself away from the desk and walks a few steps towards me, smirking.
"I saw how you were always staring at me. It was bloody obvious you liked me, so I knew it wouldn't be difficult to make you fall into bed. Or, should I say, the grass? With me."
"Fuck you! You played me! Why? Other than to just get off..why?" I yelled.
A smile slowly forms on William's lips, one that I've seen many times before, and he doesn't need to answer. That smile says it all. I stare at him incredulously.
"You did it for fun. It was just a game to you...I was just a game."
A few tears fall from my eyes and I hate myself for it.
"You bastard. You fucking bastard. How could you?"
William frowns at me, a different emotion coming to his eyes for the first time since we came into the classroom. He takes another step closer to me, pinning me with his eyes.
"Of course you don't understand. Nobody ever understands." He said quietly.
"Understand what?"
"Why. Why I only enjoy hooking up. Why I don't do relationships."
William smiles grimly at me.
"I'm not that kind of person. I need to be free, not chained down by someone else. And I like it that way."
"Don't you ever get tired of that?"
William laughs, but there's something wrong about it. It isn't his normal laugh.
"What about being in relationships?"
I don't believe him when he says he not a relationship person, there's no such thing.
"Don't you ever want to be with someone for more than just one night?"
"No. I like hooking up for just that reason. I know exactly how long it's going to last, and there's only one expectation, to get off. Hooking up is easier than having a relationship. Besides, why be in one when you know it's eventually going to end? Don't you get sick of breaking up after a while? Because that's what a relationship will always come down to, breaking up. So, what's the point of being in one?"
"How about love? That normally seems to be the reason people start relationships, to try to find love."
"Well, then, that explains it, why relationships just don't work for me, because I don't believe in 'love'." He answered mockingly.
"What?"
William sneers at me. It's not a good expression on him. He's a pretty boy, but that makes it seem like there's something nasty about him. And after all this, I'm beginning to think there actually is.
"Love, is a lie. An illusion. It's something that only exists on TV, and in movies and books. Maybe it once was real, but now it's just a means of marketing. And I hate how people are so reactionary about it, treating it like that's the sole important thing in your life. It's not. Because even the people who claim they're in love, they eventually fall out of it. Love, if it even exists; which it doesn't, is just momentary."
"I can't believe you! How can you say stuff like that? It's completely crazy! Love is real, you've must have seen it somewhere! Don't your parents love each other?"
William lets out a bark of harsh laughter.
"No. Their 'love' is just a cautionary against loneliness."
He gives me a pitying look.
"Just give up, Michael; you can't convince me. Love isn't real."
"It is!" I said staring at him pleadingly.
"How do you know?"
"Because I'm in love with you!"
I told myself I wouldn't say that...wouldn't let him know. But I've already realized that I'm not strong. At all. I'm weak and helpless, especially when it comes to him. He's broken me.
William's face drains of color and his eyes widen. Then, he starts shaking his head back and forth.
"No. No, you just think you're in love with me. But you're not. Trust me, you're not."
"You don't know that! You don't really know what love is, apparently, after what you just told me! But, William..."
I take a step closer to him so there's only about six inches between us.
"Please... I'm telling you the truth. I love you. I honestly love you."
I reach out and try to touch his cheek, but he smacks it away, looking at me coldly.
"Is that supposed to mean something to me? Because it doesn't." He said frigidly.
I'm completely speechless. The only thing I can do is stare at him. Those words stab directly into my already hurting heart, cutting it up even more. Tears start to prickle my eyes again.
"I know your type, Michael. You could take any boy, and within a few days or weeks, you'd think were in love with him. That's what happened here, with me. You don't really love me. You just got caught up in the rush of being with me."
"No, it's not! William, please! I beg I love you! I only want to be with you!"
William's eyes flash. He leans closer to me so are faces are only about an inch apart. I hold my breath, looking at him longingly and pleadingly.
Pathetically.
"And that, is why I left you in the clearing."
William then walks out of the classroom without a glance back. I'm left standing there, my heart completely and irreparably broken, in too much pain to even fucking cry.
And he doesn't care.
He doesn't care at all about what he's done to me.
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