I can hear Malakai’s alarm from the guest room. I get up to prepare breakfast. As I head out of my room, I quickly get a glance at Liam. He seems sound asleep.

I’m making coffee in the kitchen when Malakai joins me. 

“Good morning, how did you sleep?” I ask, waiting for my coffee to be done.

“I didn’t sleep much.” Yeah, I know. He clears his throat. “I needed some time to process what just happened. My dad will probably be looking for me. I’ll have to go back there and set things straight.”

“Sure. I’ll come with you.”

“No - I want to face him alone.”

I nod and grab my coffee. “Want one?”

Malakai shakes his head and gets orange juice from the fridge. “I won’t be coming to the fourth period.”

“Oh?” I say, raising my brows. “You’re going to talk to your dad today?”

“No, I’m going to see my sister in kindergarten. Her recess is during our fourth period. I'm cutting ties with my dad and his girlfriend but Jenna has nothing to do with everything they did to me. I don’t want her to think that I abandoned her.”

“That’s a good idea.”

Noah comes into the kitchen, wearing Malakai’s clothes.

“Good morning! Look,” he stretches his arm on each side, “Malakai’s clothes are so big. I feel like I’m a girl wearing my boyfriend’s clothes. Also, your boxers are too large, does it mean that you’re… packing? ”

Malakai chokes on his orange juice. I gently put my coffee mug on the table, trying to process what just happened.  “Noah, what did you just say?” I ask with a trembling voice. I’m trying to contain myself from laughing.

“Packing? Did I use it right? I heard someone say it on a tv show once. I’m not sure I understand what it means, but apparently, it’s a compliment! So good for you Kai!”

“Yay, good for you Kai!” I say ironically, to which Malakai replies by slapping violently the back of my head.

He says between his teeth, “Shut it dumbass.”

An hour later, we were all heading to university. Liam was still asleep.

****

Malakai

The weather has gotten hotter.

Since I don’t have a lot of clothes, I decided to wear my black padded jacket. So here I am, walking to my sister’s school, sweating like crazy. It’s not my fault if the weather lady lied on TV yesterday. “Prepare for cold weather”, my ass.

As I get closer to Jenna’s school, I hear kids' voices, screaming and laughing. 

Noah and I went to this school as well. We would always play on the red, blue and green swings, ignoring everyone else. Our classmates would always pick on Noah, calling him a girl and stealing his toys. The teachers wouldn’t do anything. They knew something was wrong with us. I always had bruises, and Noah always wore girl clothes. Moreover, our parents stopped coming to pick us up. At the age of six, we would be going home alone, hand in hand. It was either that or the police would bring us back. At some point, the teachers were tired of calling them so they let us go by ourselves.

As I arrive in front of the fence, I scan the playground. It hasn’t changed one bit, nothing surprising for such a poor school like this one. Some kids are playing on the slides, others are playing with figurines.

No one is on the swings. 

“Say you’re sorry or I’ll break your figurine!”

Next to the slides, I see a little girl. Her ginger hair is up in two pigtails and she’s wearing a pink dress. She has a figurine in one hand. The boy she’s talking to is on the floor. She has her foot on his stomach. 

Well of course, I think, this aggressive little girl is my sister.

“C’mon say it!” The boy is weeping, saying he’s sorry. “Good, here is your ugly figurine.” She throws it at him and moves away. I call her name.

After looking around for a second, she spots me behind the fence. It’s with a big smile that she runs toward me.

“Malakai! Are you coming to pick me up?”

I chuckle, “monkey, it’s 3pm, school isn't over yet.”

“But it’s so boring,” she pouts, “we keep on reading the same books, and the kids here are dumb. I want to go to your school.”

“One day you will. For now, be nice to your classmates.”

She rolls her eyes. She’s only four but she has a really bad attitude. 

I taught her that. 

“Daddy saaid you hurt him. Is it true?”

“It is. I hit him with a bat.”

Her eyes widen, “cool!”

Sh*t.

“Jenna no, you must never hit anyone with a bat.”

“What if they stole my snacks, can I hit them then?”

“No.” She crosses her arms and pouts. “Be a good girl, please. I don’t live at home anymore, I can’t defend you.”

“Why? When are you coming back?”

“I won’t be coming back. But I will come to check up on you. When I can, I’ll come here during your recess. I’m always here for you, monkey.” 

She’s about to cry when the bell rings. 

“I’ll come back okay? Now go back to class and show who’s the most intelligent kid around.”

She nods, wiping her nose with her thumb. “Love you big brother.”

“Love you too, monkey.”

I watch her run back to her class, speeding fast enough to be the first one inside.

After my mother left me alone with my violent dad, it didn’t take long until a new woman was living with us. Her name is Maddy. She’s ten years younger than my dad and has a part-time job in a convenience store. When she comes back home, she just lays on the couch with my dad, drinking beer, waiting for me to make dinner for the four of us. 

Jenna was an accident, but they truly love her. Maddy actually takes good care of her and my dad has never lifted a finger on her. He buys her gifts and taught her how to ride a bike. I never got this kind of attention. For a while, I was jealous. I hated my sister. At first, I pushed her away, but she wouldn't leave me alone.

She’s quite an unusual little girl. She likes dresses and pink things but when she asks for toys, it’s motorcycles or Star Wars swords. She also has a fascination for crocodiles and spiders. As she grew up, I would always play with her.I taught her how to play baseball. Last Christmas, she asked for a small pink baseball bat, because she was “done throwing the ball, she wanted to swing it”. 

On the way back, I spot a poster on the door of a bar - Waiter needed. 

Adriel has been kind enough to let me live with him, I can’t just stay there and not help with the expenses.

I don’t know why I told him about my dad. I guess it was late and I hoped he wouldn’t remember. I never expected him to actually help me like this. Adriel and I are good friends, but I can’t say that he doesn’t annoy me like 70% of the time. When Noah introduced him, I thought he would try to take advantage of him.

Noah is pretty. With his sweet features, his big green eyes and naive personality, some people often mistake him for a girl. When they learn that he is a guy, they either bully him or try to corner him and take advantage of him.

One day in high school, after class, I had to search for him throughout the school to find him in the gym’s storage room. He was on the floor, four guys standing around him. One of them was filming. If I hadn’t found him in time, I’m scared to think about what they would have done to him.

I beat all of them up. I was so mad. Because of that, I was suspended for two weeks. I would still walk Noah to school and eat lunch with him. The idea of leaving him alone scares the sh*t out of me. He has lived through enough already - I can’t let anything else happen to him. He’s always so bright and bubbly but I know he’s hurting. I feel like something is bothering him but I don’t know what.

Hopefully, the bullying stopped once we started university. He actually became quite popular. Everyone is nice to him.

But I don’t trust any of them. They see me as his watchdog, which is fine by me.

But the fact we hang out with Adriel doesn’t help - it attracts even more attention. This dumbass had to become the most popular guy in our grade and take us with him.

I had told Noah I wanted to stay just the two of us. Three is… too painful. But he promised me everything would be fine so I believed him.

I’m glad I did.

I take a big breath and enter the bar, I didn’t plan on searching for a job today but I have the opportunity to do so right now so I shouldn’t hesitate.

If they hire me, it would be my first job.

Working sort of scares me. I have social anxiety. I only feel comfortable around people if Noah is by my side. But I can’t use that as an excuse to be a freeloader at Adriel’s place. 

I’m so grateful - I can finally have some freedom. I don’t know where he gets all his money from - he could definitely provide for the both of us - but I don’t want to rely on him.

Time to face people on my own.

****

Adriel

Malakai skipped fourth and last period. I hope everything is okay.

I decide to walk Noah back home. Malakai and him always went back together. I don’t think Noah needs someone to take him but it just feels weird to let him do so right now. He clearly looked stressed out when Malakai left early.

  Those two have grown up attached to each other’s hip. Malakai living with me will not only impact his life and mine - but also Noah’s. It’s like we have broken a cycle and now everything became dysfunctional. I think Noah and Malakai will have to get used to this new life, to not being together all the time.

“Thank you for taking me home. The idea of going back alone is sort of nerve-wracking. I’ve only done it a few times when Malakai was sick and even then I knew he was just next door.”

“It’s okay, I get it.” I pause. “I have a question to ask you.” He nods and I continue, “when his dad was in the room, it felt like Malakai was completely different. He was petrified. Malakai is a pretty tough guy. I don’t understand why he didn’t stand up to his father.”

Noah takes a deep breath. “When his mom left, he blamed himself. He didn’t know what a normal household was - he didn’t know that a dad beating his son and his mother was bad. So he thought if he was a good son, his dad would tell his mom and she would come back. For a long time, he tried to be the perfect son. All he wanted was his dad to be proud of him, to see that he wasn’t worthless.” He pauses, “Once he learned that his dad was the problem - it was too late. Malakai was so mad at his dad but he grew scared of him. Although, a part of him still wanted his dad to care.” He pauses again. Noah isn’t even looking at me. He’s just staring at the ground.“After his sister Jenna was born, he saw what a real family was. He saw that his dad was capable of love. I think he hoped that one day, his dad would stop treating him badly and would actually acknowledge him.”

This breaks my heart. I know the feeling oh too well. Even if our family sucks, they are still our family.

“Moreover, his dad is very big and scary,” he adds.

I chuckle. “I’m sorry he had to go through all of this.”

“Me too. But thanks to you he’s safe now. I will be eternally thankful.”

He’s so sweet. Noah truly cares for Malakai.

As we get closer to Noah’s house, I spot his ugly garden. 

“Noah, what about you - is everything alright at home?”

“Yes don’t worry!” His tone has changed. “My mom is a little bit depressed but nothing I can’t handle! And she needs me. I need to take care of her.”

“If you ever need anything I-”

Noah looks at me and stops. “You can leave me here. Thank you for walking with me. Just please, don’t tell Malakai about what I told you.”

I reassure him that I won’t before he quickly heads to his house.

****

As I enter the apartment, I hear Liam and Malakai talking in the kitchen. When I get there, I see that they’re drinking beer.

“Well hello! What’s happening?” I ask.

“I just got a job!” Malakai says with a huge smile, putting his beer up. “I got hired in a bar as a waiter.”

Liam opens the fridge and hands me a beer. “This is great news! Which bar is it?,” I ask.

“The one just down the street, The Hideout.”

“Well this is perfect, it’s my favorite bar! I go there quite often. Maybe you could give us free drinks?”

Malakai rolls his eyes. “We’ll see. I’ve never worked before, I hope I don’ f*ck it up.”

“I’m sure you won’t,” Liam reassures him. “Let’s celebrate!”

We all raise our beer.

I’m glad Malakai found a job. Not that we need money, but I want him to be independent. I don’t want him to feel like a burden.

Malakai stopped drinking after one beer. Malakai doesn’t like to drink. Liam and I kept going.

“I’m going to sleep now,” says Malakai as he cleans up the counter from all the empty beer bottles. “Adriel, you shouldn’t drink so much, we have school tomorrow.”

“Oh my god, I didn’t know my mom had moved in!” He gives me a vulgar gesture.

If he knew how many times I went to school either hungover or drunk, he would lose all faith in me.

I’m now alone in the kitchen with Liam - who is clearly drunk. Even though he looks tough, he’s actually a lightweight. After three beers he is already hallucinating. 

“I want to get some fresh air. Wanna come?”

Of course, I’m coming with you, I think, you barely know the area. I don’t want to find you on a bench somewhere tomorrow morning.

We both dress up with big coats, grab a pack of cigarettes and head outside.

I lead him to Bratty Park. It’s a small kids' playground just around the corner of my apartment. I call it that way because it’s always full of annoying screaming kids.

While we are sitting on the swing, I get a cigarette out of the pack. Liam lights it up for me.

“I remember how we always played in the playground next to your house,” he says. “You were so small back then I had to help you up the slides.”

“I remember - you used to make fun of how small I was.”

He chuckles. “You were so small and cute. What happened?”

I stick my tongue out at him. “Well, jokes on you - if I hadn’t gotten taller I never would’ve climbed your window all those times. Because clearly, I couldn’t count on you to climb mine.”

“That’s not fair! Your window is higher. Also, I only fell once and it had rained. It was all slippery.” He takes the cigarette out of my hand and takes a puff. “My ass was hurting for days.”

“Well, for once your ass was hurting.”

Well, this got sexual real fast, I think, well done Me.

He grins. “I didn’t fall on my ass because I liked it.”

“Who says I liked it?”

He turns to face me and looks at me from top to bottom. He then grabs my swing to pull me in closer. “Oh really? Do you need a reminder?”

Hm, yes, please?

“In a kids park?” I answer.

He lets go of my swing. “P*ssy.”

He looks around the playground and continues, pointing at the red slides, “do you think I can fit on this.”

Before I can answer, he walks toward it and sits. His ass is on the top of the slide and his feet are touching the ground.

I regret not taking my phone, I would love to take a picture of this.

“I can fit!”

“Liam, your feet are literally touching the floor. There is nothing to slide on.”

“You’re no fun. You try.”

I join him to the slide and try to get on it. The same thing happens.

It’s funny how we used to struggle to get on a slide like this, and now the one struggling to hold us is the slide.

We ended up playing around Bratty Park, betting on what we could fit in. It was like we were two kids, even though we were just two drunk idiots.