Queen : i am outside, hiding behind a soccer mom van.

Darling : I see you, get in.

—— LOG OFF ——

I straightened my sweater as she got inside. She looks pretty worse for wear which only made me sigh. This idiot! She's fucking agoraphobic, what tempted her to go out of her bubble? She never leaves the house, practically begs every meet up of ours to be at her house, and she gets all her groceries delivered for fear someone will say hi to her at the grocery store. Unless-

I turned to her as she strapped herself in. I'm a bachelor in english for good reason. It helps me come up with new ways to describe my emotions and discover my feelings. Everytime I see her, I'm reminded of how beautiful people can look. I'm astounded at every small detail that makes up appearance. Her long golden hair overflowing over the new restraint of her seatbelt, the way she reaches for a pony tail holder and ties her hair up in a misshapen bun.
I don't say anything about how pretty her hair is down and flowing. Of course, as always - I think up the conversation in my head before she even says a word. I map out every beat so I don't trip over my words and manage to say, "You look so pretty." I smile at the false memory playing in my head. Still, she always manages to stay pretty no matter the circumstances, huh?

"Confess. Did you come out because of a new muse?", I said.

Knowing her she was lured with the promise of being able to observe romance in the wild, being told of a couple coming to the reunion. If anything, I can always be astounded by her ability to live with her crippling anxiety if it means content for another book. Something about being nosy, I guess. Maybe she's the narrator to everyone's "I Write Sins Not Tragedies".

Her face reddened and she balled her fists up to look at me indignantly.

"No, you know you're my only muse. I just.... wanted....", she trailed off.

There we go, denial has made its way to the court. She definitely saw content in the form of old high school sweethearts still sticking together or something cliche like that. Or maybe she caught wind of an enemies to lovers trope in the flesh?

I started to drive away from the building which seemed to be a type of mansion of sorts. At least 3 stories tall and wide enough to outdo Walmart in size. It gave off the impression of sliver spoon society and made me wonder what type of high school she went to if the reunion was being hosted there.

As we turned onto the main road, I chided in with, "I'm not disappointed in you, if that's what you're thinking."

Her face went slightly rigid letting me know that's exactly what she was thinking.

"I simply want to know what compelled you to go to an event like this."

She seemed to almost crawl inside of herself, as she did when faced in person. On the phone she is lively and brash, in real life she's shy and has problems with speaking to anyone.

"I... need to be more assertive, you see. I feel like you keep expecting me to be okay and fine and on top of things all the time. I know you're not a fan of mistakes.... I saw the reunion post on Facebook and thought it would be great to get myself out there. I thought maybe I could socialize and make friends and... pretend that I'm normal and I've got everything together. That I'm a much cooler person now. But guess what? Nobody even cared. Nobody even remembered my name. So I hid."

"That's fine you know, to hide."

She reached her hand up to hold onto a piece of my sweater and smiled.
"I can't hide forever darling."

"Ha, I don't think most people can. Just know you don't have to force yourself to do anything. When you force yourself, it only puts more pressure on yourself. And people are much better at throwing themselves under the bus than someone else doing it for them. I'm your editor, not your dictator or your life coach. So don't base your feelings on my life choices, okay?"

She nodded her head yes in agreement and a peaceful silence was introduced between us.

Which was soon broken by her clearing her throat and saying, "What if I want you to be my dictator though? Like yes, dominate me mommy."

I pushed her face away to the passenger window.
"No."

"Yes please! Push me harder!"
She's back. And so life resumes.

—— LOG ON ——