Warning: Violence implied in dreams?
::
"NEVIS!"
The scenery changed to a violent one. Men fighting. The sound of steel shrieking against steel.
A blood-stained dagger…
Pained amber eyes…
Empty darkness...
The sensation of falling into my own body startled me awake. My eyes darted about, adjusting to the dark, while my thudding heart tried to settle back down. The only light I noticed was the distant street light from outside. When I grasped my phone to check the time, I let out a groan. Three o'clock? If I could only get my heart rate back down again, I might be able to get another two hours of sleep.
The rumbling of a motorcycle was so loud that it sounded as if the rider zoomed right past my very window.
My green eyes shot back open wider than before. Fuck it. Who needed sleep, anyway, especially crazy nightmares that played out like some kind of historical drama made for television?
I desperately tried to stomp out the lingering traces of the Egyptian prince from my mind as I quietly rolled out of bed, wincing in agony at the soreness of the previous day's injuries. Fuck. That was going to ache all day. I gently eased my drawers open to dig for clothes with the aid of my cellphone as a soft lighting source. Using the flashlight app was a risk I wasn't willing to take. With a deep breath, I repeated the mantra I always told myself as a kid whenever my dreams took a darker turn. It's just a dream. He's not me. Raemka…
A frown formed on my face when I realized that he, the Triple D (Desert Dream Dude),had a name now. Prince Raemka.
No, I didn't care what Leo said about their being our past lives. I was myself; Momoiro Takiwa. A kid with mixed family roots tracing back to Germany and Japan, born in a totally different country. Thoughts of Japan brought the gentle face of my grandfather to mind. Grandpa Genbu was a kind man. My father turning out to be so different from him proved that the universe had a dark sense of humor.
The sound of bedsprings releasing scattered my thoughts, and I immediately shoved my phone down onto my clothes as if to smother out the light of the screen. I remained in my hunched-over position as my heart began to race again. Had he awakened? Was he heading for the bathroom?
I only let out my breath when I heard the sound of his snoring.
That day was definitely a long-sleeved hoodie kind of day. I hated having to answer questions about the bruises that quickly formed on my arm whenever my father dragged me about. It was a lot easier to just cover them all up. After quietly getting ready for school, I ultimately doom scrolled on my phone until it was time to head out to the bus stop.
::
As Zoey took her usual spot next to me on the bus, the first words out of her mouth weren't exactly flattering.
"Damn, Momo, you look like shit," the potty-mouthed ravenette commented as she tugged on the side of my hood to get a better look. I winced in pain when my muscles tensed around the area where my dad had kicked me. She sounded even more concerned after that. "Did you get any sleep?"
"Not really."
"Bad dreams or naughty ones?" She asked, trying to distract me from the pain.
After being friends for so long, Zoey knew I never wanted to talk about my injuries. So, she'd always change the subject instead. However, the dreams were another land mine.
"What?"
"I'm just saying...I imagine Raemka and Nevis weren't shy. I'd trade my dreams for a peek at their love life any day."
"Believe me when I say you don't want any sort of peeking into my dreams," I griped as I tugged the strings of my hood as if to further curl in on myself. While I didn't know the dream's details, the sense of despair was always there. Who wanted dreams like that?
"...so, are you going to copy what you saw in your dreams with Leo?"
I sent Zoey what she usually referred to as my "thug face," in which my chin and nose lifted as I glared at her sideways. "On the contrary," I countered. "I'm actually relieved he didn't ride the bus this morning. As a matter of fact, I plan to avoid him all day."
"Right," Zoey drawled as she folded her arms across her chest. "Because that worked out so well for you yesterday, what with those separation migraines."
"Don't remind me," I groaned. "I'm feeling queasy enough as it is."
"Well, that sounds like plenty enough of a reason to not avoid your new boyfriend."
"He's not my boyfriend!"
"Your new...friend with touching benefits…."
"Ugh," I grimaced. "That sounds even worse."
"Friend, then. You shouldn't avoid any of your friends, for that matter."
"By any, you mean you, right? I don't have any other friends."
"Exactly," she affirmed. "All the more reason not to alienate yourself from any new ones...like tall, dark, and handsome ones with a voice deeper than the ocean."
"That sounds like a lot of admiration for the best friend of the guy you're seeing."
"I just happen to appreciate beauty, that's all."
"If you say so."
"Please, like you didn't do your fair share of staring at him before all this even happened."
"Don't remind me."
::
Leo was waiting right there at the bus ramp when we arrived at school. My decision to keep him at a distance had yet to waver from the moment I had woken up. I drew my shoulders back and corrected my posture to gain confidence, ignoring the twinge of pain from my injuries and nausea that curled in my stomach from our separation situation. This was something I had to do.
With every step that Leo took towards me, the queasiness inside me faded. By the time he stood beside me, only the dull aches of my muscles had remained. He lifted his hand as an offering, a half-smirk playing on his lips. The disappointment I felt with myself at the fact that I was staring hard enough at him to even notice that detail...well, it paled in comparison to the shame of my hand voluntarily curling around his. Relaxation rolled down my body as if it were collectively sighing in relief at the skin-to-skin contact.
It was official. Leo was unintentionally like a drug to me. What the hell was up with my life?
"Thanks," Leo said as he gave my hand a gentle squeeze. "I really needed that. Last night wasn't my favorite of nights in terms of restful sleep."
"Nightmares?" I asked. A part of me was curious, despite myself.
"...or awful past life memories," he added. "Did you at least get any sleep?"
"I'm fine." The words were out of my mouth faster than I intended. The guilt of being dishonest with the other teen squeezed at my heart, but I paid it no mind. We needed to figure out a way to move past our separation situation. How else were we going to live our separate lives beyond high school?
::
Throughout the school day, our physical symptoms rose and fell depending on where we were on campus. Leo had the misfortune of having Physical Education while I was in the room furthest from the track field. After a few laps, the poor guy barfed and still looked a little green when Zoey, Rick, and I found him at the cafeteria during lunch.
Thanks to Leo's mom, we'd learned that we didn't need direct skin-to-skin contact. So, I had fully intended to sit beside him at lunch in a way that only our outer thighs touched instead of any kind of showy sign of affection. But, I couldn't stand his misery and curled my hand around the back of his neck to try to help.
"Thank you," he whispered. Leo's grateful smile and expression of relief made my heart skip a beat. He was too damn honest.
"Today, I'm taking the driving part of my driver's license test," Rick boasted. "So, this time tomorrow, we should all just head off campus for lunch."
"I like that confidence," Zoey commented. "I'm not going to rain on it, so you go do your best on your test."
"Thanks, Zo," Rick replied with a goofy grin.
I raised an eyebrow at her words. Usually, she'd be the first to poke fun at the insecurity of anyone she considered close. Just how much had she come to like Rick that she was downright supporting him?
The ravenette in question caught my expression and turned her gaze away with a blush. "So, how are you hanging in there, Leo?" She asked, changing the subject.
The taller teen took a deep breath and smiled. "Much, much better." He responded. "It wasn't nearly as scary as yesterday. Not when it's something we can now expect."
"It's still insane. Not that I didn't believe you from the beginning," Rick stated in a low voice so that only we at the table could hear. "First, you're not one to lie. Second, the reactions are no joke. I mean, you're not looking green like you did when we first came in."
"Green? Nice to know," Leo huffed.
"It's not much, but there is at least something I can do to help," Rick offered with another grin. "You'll see for yourselves tomorrow if everything turns out well today."
I hadn't the slightest idea what he meant by helping. But, I could tell that the blue-dyed teen meant well. Leo apparently had also been serious when he mentioned letting Rick in on our situation.
When Leo's stomach was finally settled enough to eat, the four of us walked over to the lunch line to get our food. We each chose something light and without aromas out of consideration of Leo's condition, which drew laughter from us all when we figured it out back at the table. I had never seen Zoey so happy. In the past, it was just the two of us eating and talking during lunch. I was too wary of making any more friends, and Zoey had countless classmates that asked her to sit with them, but she always chose to keep me company.
But, the two of us were very comfortable engaging with Rick and Leo. It felt nice to have more friends, to laugh and joke without feeling too self-conscious. Even if it was just within the safer walls of the school grounds, I didn't mind hanging around with them.
Then, I remembered my decision from earlier that morning. My expression soured. I was supposed to be putting more distance between us, not drawing Leo or anyone else closer. Something deep inside me urged me to keep anyone I cared about at arm's length to not suffer losing them in some horrendous way.
"Hey," I recognized the warm hand on my shoulder long before he spoke. "You feeling okay?"
I turned slightly to give Leo my best fake smile. Across from us, Zoey's blue eyes narrowed. If she wanted an explanation, I'd tell her later. "I'm fine," I responded instead.
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