This part of the story is always the hardest to tell. Because people keep telling me she manipulated me. Toyed with my emotions. They tell me what we did is wrong, immoral. I think... I think I knew deep down what I did was wrong. If I thought about it too long, or turned on the tv and saw my face, I'd start to feel sick. This is around the time when Antonia Hernandez started haunting me. When I started thinking of the question, even if Antonia was a bully, did she really deserve to die? And even if she did deserve to die, did she deserve to have her murder go unsolved because of me?

Here I was sleeping with her killer. Not even a suspected Killer, like an actual killer. Someone I witnessed, with my own eyes, murder someone. If I think about it too long I start to lose my mind. Because even though I know what I did was wrong, even now... it still feels so right. I still think about her in that way. If I close my eyes and concentrate hard enough, I can still feel her touch.

The Morning After

It hit me after I woke up. What had I done? Who had I become? The longer I thought about it, the sicker I felt. I had sex with a killer. Willingly, knowingly. But the strangest thing of all is I didn't hate it. I wasn't repulsed by it. Rather, I am repulsed by the idea that I'm not repulsed.

What does that say about me?

The room is dark, too dark. It's not sunny outside, and even if it was I wouldn't be able to tell with the two layers of curtains on the window in this room. I turn to face her, she is already facing me. Her blue eyes blinking at me in the darkness. My heart stops.

We don't say anything to each other, just stare. Both of us trying to wrap our heads around what happened last night. Where that leaves us, where we want it to leave us. I could tell by looking in her eyes she wasn't going to pretend it didn't happen, but I could also tell she wasn't sure about the whole thing.

She sat up first.

I followed.

We sat across from each other, naked, in the dark.

I moved first, to get closer to her.

She outstretched her hand towards me and hesitantly caressed my cheek. I leaned into her touch and her hand became more comfortable and moved to run through my hair a few times. I crawled into her lap, putting us as close as possible.

She kissed me then.

A light, peck on the lips.

I locked eyes with her before pressing my lips softly into her, closing my eyes to enjoy the moment. We broke apart slowly, our lips lingering against each other.

"We should get washed up," she finally said.

I kissed her again.

She kissed me back.

"Come on," she pulled away from me.

I followed her, I grabbed my clothes to shower but she stopped me from walking into the bathroom and instead pulled along with her downstairs to her room, her bathroom. She helped me inside her big fancy shower.

When the water turned on it was cold at first and I giggled.

I could tell that made her relax a bit.

She got in and soon we started our shower.

I hadn't been expecting anything to happen so when she wrapped her arms around me as I rinsed off, I flinched. She peppered kisses up my shoulder. I got goosebumps. Her hands roamed all over my chest before grabbing and squeezing my breast.

"Can you do something for me?" she whispered into my ear.

"Anything," I moaned.

"Wait here," she let go of me and walked out of the shower, dripping water all over the floor. When she came back she had a sex toy, a strap-on, brand new still in the package.

My heart leaped for joy.

She took it out and then handed it to me.

"Can you... do me with that?" she asked.

I grabbed her by the chin and kissed her. She smiled into the kiss. So I strapped up and got to work. I pushed her against the shower wall and I moved it inside of her. She moaned loudly, draping herself all over me.

It wasn't long until she finished.

I took it off and resumed my shower as normal until she got on her knees and forced her face between my legs.

It felt magical.

I'm usually the one that goes down on a girl, not the other way around. Now I know what I've been missing all this time. Afterward, we brushed our hair and teeth and cuddled up on the couch in the living room.

It's raining outside, dark and cloudy.

I just ignored it all, we sat in the house in silence. I played with her silky blond locks, running my fingers through her hair or twirling a piece around and around. She's mush, melted into my side. Completely comfortable and content. She hasn't even bothered to clean anything up today or do her homework, or anything.

"I don't want this to end," she whispers.

"It doesn't have to."

"Doesn't it though?" she looks at me.

I shake my head no.

"I love you," she says.

"I love you too," I said in a whisper so soft it was almost impossible to hear it.

"What does that mean for us?"

I peck her on the lips.

"It means it doesn't have to end. We can be together, here, no one has to know." I say.

She kisses me back.

"So are we a couple now?" she asks.

I nod.

She wraps her arms tighter around me.

"I like the sound of that," she says.

"Me too." I rest my head on her chest.

When the lightning flashed outside, it lit up the house, and for the briefest of seconds, I thought I saw Antonia Hernandez staring at me. Freshly murdered, her eyes crying out for help. I closed my eyes and buried my face deeper into her chest.

"Are you hungry?" Dakota ran her fingers across my scalp.

"I can wait, I'm comfortable, don't move," I say.

"Okay," she gently runs her fingers through my hair over and over.

And just like that, the murderer I witnessed kill someone became my girlfriend.