8//Rose- May 4 1843, Kansas 

“Rose?” Lydia uttered, touching my neck to get my attention. I turned around, a little annoyed because I was about to fall asleep. 

“Mmm?” I answered, lifting my right arm to lie on it. I yawned and Lydia giggled softly.

“I’m cold,” she admitted, intertwining her hand with mine. I smiled fondly and wrapped my arms around her, she placed her feet between my legs, they felt ice cold.

“You really are cold,” I chuckled, kissing the top of her head and holding her closer. I stroked her hair ever so gently, as if she were Olive, my baby sister. 

“Do you like me?” 

Her voice was fragile and tired. I lifted her chin to face me, “of course, why wouldn’t I? You’re very funny and adorable and just… amazing,” I explained, thinking of everything we had done that day and how we seemed to be best of friends only after the first day. 

“Really?”

“Why not, Lyds?” I questioned pitifully.

“Because when I act like this… like I’m so crazy and fun, nobody actually likes me, they pretend to and never stick around for long, they can’t deal with me for long,” 

“If no one else can, then I will, Lyds, I promise,” I told her, staring into her soft baby blue eyes. They suddenly started filling with tears. She pressed her face into my chest and cried as quietly as possible. 

Lydia cried until she finally fell asleep in my arms, I stroked her hair and silently comforted her for the entire night, only falling asleep an hour till sunrise. When I woke up, Lydia had slipped out of my arms and Eliza Jane and Billy also left. “Good morning sleepy head,” Billy ruffled my messy hair, shoving a hairbrush into my hands. He leaned into me and whispered in my ear, 

“I need to tell you something,” 

“What is it?” I questioned, yawning and stretching my arms out, the morning was warm and the dew felt refreshing between my toes. 

“Could we go somewhere private?” Billy asked, fumbling with his fingers.

“Yeah, I’ll tell everyone we’ll be chatting, one second,” I told him, brushing through my hair and running up to Mingan and Julian chatting. “You two are talking again!” I exclaimed, they chuckled and I explained that I was going to be with Billy.

  Billy and I walked over to some trees, he looked ever so anxious. “What’s up, Billy?” I questioned, placing my hand on his forearm. He pursed his lips, “I think- I know- I’ve known for a very long time- promise you won’t tell mother and father?”

“When have I ever told anything to our mother and especially father?”

“This isn’t just some sort of mistake I made, Rosey, this is who I am and I don’t know how to hide it from them,” Billy burst into tears, I instantly wrapped my arms around him and tried to comfort the poor soul. 

“What is it, my dear brother?” I whispered into his soft auburn hair. 

“I’m a girl.”

Huh?

“I don’t understand, dear?” I held his shoulders, making him face me. Billy was shorter than me, I used that as a way to bully him a lot.

“I’ve felt like a girl my entire life, always wishing to be like you or mother and I never knew what that meant but now… I know I am and I can’t hide it anymore because if I keep this inside anymore I’ll-” he started choking on his tears, I held him close to me and even though I understood none of what he said.

“You feel like a girl?”

“Always have.”

I deeply exhaled, still being extremely confused, he collapsed into my arms. “You don’t need to accept it, or call me a she, you can hate me but please don’t tell mother or father,” he cried into my arms. 

“I’ll do anything to make you happy, I’m your sister. And you’re mine now?” I smiled into his hair. 

“Really? Would you be able to call me a she and Jennifer in private?” 

“Of course, Jennifer,” I beamed. And although I still didn’t know what was in her brain, I wanted her to be alive, without her, I’d be dead.

“Jennifer is a very pretty name, sis.”