15//Mingan- May 30, 1843, Kansas 

“You can’t talk to him,” she said.

“I said you can’t talk to him,” she repeated. 

“I know, and I want to, so I am. It’s not like Ma told us not to talk to his family, only the Clancys. It’s not my fault you made enemies,” Julian spat at her, I was so upset that they were fighting like this. All because of me. 

“Promise me you’ll wake me if you have a nightmare,” I whispered as gently as possible, trying to be a replacement for Lydia in one way or another. Julian nodded, I felt his lips on my chest, sending my heart into a race. Was it a kiss? I tried to calm Julian with a soft, low hum.

“Can I touch your hair?” he inquired, lifting his head. I was surprised at the question and felt a bit awkward since I got gooskin every time he touched me. I nodded, trying to remain as cool as possible. Julian ran his long fingers through my hair, sending every nerve in my body into overdrive.

“I want to kiss you,” he mumbled. 

But I want to kiss you more. He started going on about how boys shouldn’t kiss boys but I wasn’t listening, only lifting myself up and leaning on my arms. 

Jules rambles too much. I thought to myself, it was adorable don’t get me wrong but I still thought he was an idiot for thinking that I could ever date Delores. Of course, Dee is very lovely and even though she had a brother my age, she still took care of me and acted generally very caring towards me but I could never think of her as more than a friend or sister.

“...but you are probably going to hate me now and-” this dumbass thinks I hate him, I grinned to myself before smashing my lips into his, holding his face, I took control of Jules entirely. He moaned into my mouth making my nether regions harden. 

“I… please do it again,” he whimpered, placing his hand on my thigh. I pulled him closer to me, whether it was time stopping or Julian mesmerising me with his tongue, I honestly wouldn’t know. I thought back to when he looked at me for the first time, how I believed he was annoying and small, but I felt so powerful holding him in my arms and lacing my fingers through his silky hair that was glistening in the soft glow of the moonlight outside. Delicately, I simpered into the embrace, a moan escaped his throat once more and the vibration sent me into ecstasy. My tongue explored Jules’ mouth, he gasped from the entry but complied, melting even closer into me. 

“I liked that,” I susurrated, staring into his soft greenish blue eyes,

“Me too,” Jules pressed his forehead against mine. I smiled, staring at Jules fondly, planting another small kiss on his soft lips. 

“It’s about time,” growled a little voice behind us, we spinned our heads around to look at the source of the noise; it was little Eliza Jane with her hands placed sassily on her hips. Scout and the wolf picked up their heads  in alarm, making sure she wasn’t a threat. 

“Ma and Mrs Millaray were talking about how long it would take for you two to realize you fancy each other,” I pressed my hand onto Julian’s ear, he was burning bright red and burying his face in my chest. Eliza Jane swung her hair around and left us be, Julian flipped on  his back to look at me from below, gazing longfully at me as if I were some long-lost lover of his. I pulled his head up with my hand and grabbed a pillow for him to lie on instead of my erection. I felt so strange with him in my lap, as if now I could do anything I wished to do before and not be afraid of what he may think. 

“Do you have any idea how many times I’ve wanted to do that?” he whispered, I smirked and pulled him into another kiss. 

***

In the morning I woke up in Julian’s arms. I kissed his cheek and he smiled, turning to face me with his adorable dimple prominent on his gentle features. I leaned in and he kissed me, the sweet taste of his lips lingered on my tongue. 

“I see you two are friends again, it’s good to see,” Dee grinned, giving me a pat on the cheek with her palm. I looked at the distance to the river and noticed a pile of clothes, I figured it was someone washing themselves and decided not to bring attention to it. Julian kept glancing at me with a hazey expression, as if I were some sort of god. We talked to Scotty and Delores for a while, I felt a little sorry for Delores since she hadn’t anyone to chat to because Miles wasn’t allowed to talk to us either, it was terrible that we ended on such a sour note and I wish I could have gone back and tried to reason with Lydia instead of giving into my emotions and creating problems for everyone. I felt at fault that Lydia wasn’t talking to Julian anymore and her telling him not to talk to me felt even worse because I had to side with Julian, since she was being a complete and utter bitch.

“You look so pretty today,” Jules whispered in my ear. I giggled and glanced at his lips, wishing to kiss them. 

“You look so pretty every day,” I uttered back.