17//Julian- May 31, 1843,  Colorado 

I smiled as I swung Mingan and mine’s joined hands. Eliza Jane followed behind us, throwing insults and sarcastic remarks to us. Everyone else was getting their wagons ready to cross the river today but Ma had made me take Eliza Jane and Henry to do something else since they were just in the way. Mingan slipped away from his family to come with us and now Eliza Jane was annoying me instead of Ma. 

“You know, I don’t think two boys kissing is weird,” she said looking up at me. 

“Okay, neither do I,” I told her. Mingan let out a chuckle at her attitude and squeezed my hand gently. 

“Well obviously dummy, you and Mingan are two boys kissing,” she retorted. I rolled my eyes at her and ruffled her braided hair, tangling the loose hairs on top and loosening the braids. 

“Jules! Huritt did them for me! You’re so mean!” she cried. I glanced at Mingan and he looked at Eliza Jane with his eyebrows raised. He then glanced at me and tucked my hair behind my ear, making my smile show all the way to my eyes. He leaned in to whisper in my ear, but not before slightly sucking on my ear lobe. I gasped sharply, drawing Eliza Jane’s attention and she smirked. 

“I think Eliza Jane fancies Hurrit,” He whispered softly to me. I nodded and looked down at my little sister. 

“Eliza, do you fancy Huritt?” I asked her, trying not to chuckle. Mingan licked my earlobe again causing me to push him slightly and him pushing me. I brought my attention back to Eliza who’d turned bright red, her eyes wide. She took Henry’s hand and started walking back to the wagons. That was a definite yes. When my little sister didn’t want to admit something, she ignored it. 

“Henry and I are returning to be helpful, Julian,” she said sternly. “You two don’t take too long to yourselves or they’ll get suspicious and send someone over,” she taunted. She was right though, depending on who they sent over we could get into huge trouble. If it was one of the Clancys or really anyone who wasn't from either of our families we would. Or if it was Lydia. That would go terribly and I knew Mingan felt at fault for my not talking to her, but he wasn’t. I’d rather talk to him over her any day, even if she was still my best friend. Eliza Jane dragged clueless little Henry away, and when she was out of earshot Mingan and I both burst into hysterical laughter. 

“Oh gosh, she does fancy him!” Mingan laughed, smiling at me. I giggled and wrapped my arms around Mingan’s neck, pulling him down into a deep kiss. He took complete control and I was definitely all right with that. He slid his tongue into my mouth and I heard a sudden cough from behind us. I whipped around and saw Rose, smirking at us. 

“Oh Lord, I knew it,” she laughed. I stood there, panicking. She was going to tell her parents and they would kill us. They already hated Mingan because he was a native american and now they would just hate him more. I’m sure the rest of our traveling group would be repulsed by us too. 

“Rose I… It’s not what it looks like,” I said, panic obvious in my trembling voice. Mingan took my hand and squeezed, pulling me closer to him. 

“Don’t worry, I won’t tell anyone, I don’t care,” she said. “Just wanted to let you know Lydia, Je-Billy and I are swimming across because why not, just wanted to see if you guys wanted to come, although I’m sure you will, any chance to look at each other shirtless, am I right?” she laughed. I looked at her, confused. Didn’t she hate Lydia? God girls confuse me. 

“Please don’t tell Lydia,” I asked. That was the last thing I needed. She nodded,

“And you don’t tell my parents or Miles I’m here,” Rose turned on her heel and ran off to join Billy and Lydia. Mingan started chuckling then pulled me into another kiss, this time pulling my hair gently, making me let out a sudden gasp. 

“Let's go,” he mumbled as he kissed my neck.  He enjoyed kissing my neck, it seemed. I enjoyed him kissing my neck too, although some day if he kept it up I might bruise. We ran over to where the first wagon was being pulled into the narrowest part of the river by the oxen. Scout and my wolf ran up to us, tails wagging, and they sat at my feet. I scratched both of their ears and gave them each a hug. My wolf would ride in the wagon with Ma, Papa, Eliza Jane and Henry because of his injury while Lydia, Scout and I would swim across. 

“You kids can swim across now, just be careful! Wait for us on the other side and give me your shirts and trousers, please keep on your pantaloons!” Ma called to us. Mingan and I both started taking off our long cotton trousers, both of us not having worn our boots. Ma said we shouldn’t wear them unless we needed them lest we wear them out. We handed her our trousers and shirts, which left us in our undergarments. Lydia and Rose were both left in their drawers and chemises, having taken off their corsets. It’s not like Lydia wore one anyways, she said it was ‘too constricting’. Mrs Clancy said they should put their bonnets on, both of them having already tanned. I was tanned too, but I suppose that didn’t matter much. We soon started swimming across the river, Mingan and I occasionally touching hands. 

We were almost all the way across when Rose and Billy started yelling for our help. They were holding up an unconscious Lydia. I glanced at Mingan and we both started swimming faster. 

“What happened?” I cried, holding onto her waist to help Rose and Billy support her body. 

“She inhaled some water I think, I saw her going down and we grabbed her,” Billy told me.  I looked at Lydia, begging the tears to go away.

“Lydia please don’t die,” I begged my water logged sister. We all started dragging her to shore but it was tricky. She was still slightly breathing and I was now crying and pleading to God not to let her die. She couldn’t die. I hadn’t apologized yet. Mingan glanced at me and furrowed his eyebrows. I was almost too hysterical to swim on my own, so Scout was trying to push me along and thankfully, we soon got to the rocky bank of the river. 

“Lydia!” I screamed at her body, trying to get her to wake up. Moments later, she started coughing up water, then she sat up. 

“Lydia lay back down, you almost just drowned.” Billy commanded. I threw myself onto her and started sobbing again, apologizing over and over again. 

“Jules, it’s okay,” she said, leaning up against a tree. “I was the one who was at fault,” she added. I nodded and hugged her. 

“Where’s Rose?” she asked. I pointed over to where Mingan and Billy were helping Rose, who was throwing up from worry and her own sobbing. 

“Rosie!” she shouted over to the weakened girl. 

“Lydia, oh my God please never do that again!” she sobbed into Lydia’s wet bosom, the younger girl whispering words of comfort to the ginger. “I love you, Lydia. Please don’t scare me like that! I couldn’t survive without you! Lydia, I love you so much,” she cried, throwing herself onto Lydia’s lips and kissing them. I’m sure that didn’t taste good. So that’s why Lydia and Rose were friends again. 

“I love you too Rosie, I’m okay,” Lyds whispered into Rose’s hair. Mingan, Billy and I  stepped away, giving them a moment alone. Scout had stayed with them, knowing they were both weak. I was still sniffing and hiccuping as Mingan held me, Billy standing awkwardly next to us. 

“So I guess we-you’re all queers,” he said, rocking back and forth on his toes. I looked over at him, about to cry again. He would definitely tell someone. 

“Don’t worry, you guys are all safe with me, I don’t care as long as Rose is happy,” he assured us, wiping his hands on his trousers. He soon walked away to where the first wagon had landed on the shore, getting us all our clothes from them. It was the British couple who landed first, and we would be here until nighttime and would camp along the river. Thankfully, the four of us were hidden by the reeds and the trees that stood along the water, their roots going into it. Billy came back moments later with his clothing on and everyone else’s in his arms. Mingan and I took our clothing from him and walked away from the girls, not wanting to see any of their… uh… parts. 

“My underthings are wet… Do I just take them off?” I asked Mingan. He shrugged, kissed my cheek and started taking down his pants. I was about to see him naked. The more I thought about it, the more erect I got. 

“Like what you see?” he asked when he saw me staring at him with my mouth open slightly. He chuckled and pulled me into a kiss, pressing my hardening crotch against his. 

“Min-” he cut me off with another kiss before I could say anything. He pulled away and started putting his trousers over his own hardened penis. He came over and helped me change, accidentally brushing his hand on my nether regions. When he did that, I let out a small moan before I clapped my hand over my mouth. He smiled at me and went to touch it again, this time on purpose. I slapped his hand away and shrieked when he pulled me into his still bare chest. 

“Don’t get me wrong, I like this… probably more than I should, but what if someone sees us?” I asked him. He shrugged and pulled me into a kiss. His touch made my heart melt and he rubbed our crotches together making me hold in ungodly noises. I started kissing his neck and chest as he pushed me up against a large boulder that would hide us if someone came around. He started caressing my behind, squeezing it as he pushed our erections together. My arousal was painful at this point, needing to be touched and his probably was too. 

“Mingan…  it hurts,” I mumbled into his chest as I was kissing it. He chuckled and pushed me so I was at arm's length. He looked my pale body up and down before kissing my lips softly. 

“You’ve never dealt with this have you,” he predicted. 

“Dealt with what?” I asked. 

“This,” he said as he gently ran his finger over the tip. I held in a moan as I shook my head. “Ah, you just need to touch it until you ejaculate, my father taught me about this when I started getting older,” he told me. I nodded and pulled him to my lips again, thinking about the nightmares all of a sudden. I jumped away from him, panicking. 

“I… I.. Min-” I cut myself off when I burst into tears, collapsing to the ground and hugging my knees to my chest. 

“Jules, what is it?” he asked as he sat next to me. He firmly held my chin as he had done the day we met and it made me cry more. It made my arousal hurt even more, his touch. I would hurt him if I stayed here. I would hurt him like Uncle did to Lydia. I would force him to do something he didn’t want. 

“Jules, what is it?” He asked frantically, pulling me to him. I started thrashing against his grip and he immediately let go, letting me curl into myself again. 

“I… don’t…  I don’t want to be like him,” I blubbered.