CW: Depictions of a medical procedure, explicit language.

He's torn from the merciful darkness of sleep by a sickening, gut wrenching pain. It radiates white heat from his spine to the tips of his fingers and toes. Frothing waves of agony ruthlessly batter his trembling, sweat drenched form. A scream tries to work its way out of his mouth, but just a strangled, cracked noise comes out, his throat raw and torn to shreds. Perhaps he'd been screaming in his sleep, he thinks to himself dazedly.

Slowly, he realises that he's lying on his stomach, with an unbearable pressure upon all four limbs. Something horrifically sharp stabs him in the back and his body jolts in shock. He cries hoarsely, quivering drops of tears sticking to his dense, sable lashes. Another stab, another jolt, and he cries again, completely helpless to this miserable torture. He tries pushing against the crushing pressure on his arms and legs, but all he gets is a nauseating wave of pain.

A deep voice murmurs beside him, so close he can feel a soft puff of breath. A gentle spiced fragrance fills his nose, dampens the iron tang of blood. Calloused fingers brush the sweat drenched hair from his face before slipping a leather strap between his lips. Bite down...Rinnie...bite down hard...it's going be alright...I'm here...I will take care of you...

And something about that tender voice has him fervently believing those words.

***

A warm summer's breeze wanders into the dark room, bringing with it the scent of baked earth and summer blooms. A raven haired youth lies on his front in a sprawling bed, the size of which makes him seem smaller and as fragile as glass. His head lays sideways upon a soft white pillow, sable hair and lashes stark against the sickly pallor of his skin. His face is pinched in pain, a sheen of sweat glimmering across his crinkled forehead. A feverish flush stains his cheeks like berry juice, compelling one to touch and explore the rich colour. The covers are pulled up to his naked hips, leaving exposed the thick white bandages wrapped around his torso from shoulder to waist. Every now and then the youth would cry out softly in his coma and his hands would clutch at the sheets until the knuckles turn white.

Whenever this happens, Jun would gently untangle the raven's hands from the sheets and wrap them around his own. He lets Rin squeeze as hard and as much as he wants, not daring or even wanting to take away this small source of comfort.

It's just been a few days since the incident and Jun is already exhausted. There are dark shadows beneath the young lord's eyes and his face is pale and gaunt with weariness. Despite the protests from his servants and Healer Wu, Jun had tirelessly tended to the injured boy, completely forgoing sleep and food himself. He assists the Healer change his patient's bandages, comforts Rin whenever his wound needs to be cleaned, patiently feeds him medicine and porridge, and wipes the sticky sweat clean from his body. And when there's nothing else he can do, he sits at Rin's side, silently keeping watch over him.

When Mira asked him why he's so attentive to this boy, this stranger, he couldn't give her a proper response. The words stuck in his throat and rendered him speechless. In truth, it's because he feels crippling guilt. Guilt that this boy, who selflessly came to his aid, had been so grievously injured because of him. And now he will be left with a disfigurement, all because of this lord's foolishness. Is this how I will protect my people? Is this the kind of lord I wish to become?

You see us just fine. You just don't care.

Jun sighs as he gazes down at Rin, his heart throbbing. He notices the raven's dry and cracked lips, and he dips his fingers into the glass of water sitting on the bedside table. He brings his fingertips to those dry lips, gently wetting them.

Sticky lashes tremble with the lord's caring ministrations. They slowly part, letting the gentle afternoon light seep into those dark eyes, hazy with sleep. All Rin can see is a blur of shapes and colours, and the vague impression of a person hovering over him. Fingertips dab water upon his lips and he runs his tongue over the plump flesh, gathering every drop to slake his burning thirst.

"Rinnie...?" A surprised murmur accompanies a shaky breath. "Are you thirsty?" The figure hurriedly brings the glass to his lips and he eagerly sips until he is sated.

By now, the Rat's vision had cleared, and he sees the figure to be the little lord, sitting at his bedside with his pale features pinched with concern. The raven shifts slightly, feeling as though someone were lying flat upon his body. He intakes sharply when a lightning bolt of pain zig zags down his back. He stops moving then, trembling slightly from shock.

"Lie still," Jun says, his tone unintentionally sharp. He pulls in a deep breath and forces himself to calm, reaching out and grasping the raven's hand to squeeze reassuringly. "You need to keep still, Rinnie. You might pull your stitches."

Rin stares wide eyed at the exhausted lord, head spinning with more than just fever. "Where am I?" His voice comes hoarse, grating against his sore throat. "What happened?"

"You are at my family's estate. In the guest house, to be exact." With his free hand, Jun brings another damp cloth to the raven's face, gently dabbing the cool fabric against his burning forehead. "That ruffian tried to attack me and you...you took his blade for me. Rest assured, our estate Healer is the best in the East, only rivalled by the Imperial Healer. After a week of bed rest, you will be well enough to walk."

Ruffian. He called him a ruffian. Rin smiles, a little deliriously.

Rin glances at the lord's focused expression. Those goldens sweep over the raven's flushed features as he attempts to cool him down. There's a tug at Rin's heart, one that's unknowable and unfathomable. Has anyone ever cared for him in this way before? Perhaps, many years ago when he was a child, Dasom might have tried to keep his fever down like this during a bout of illness. But the memory is hazy and he's not even sure if it's real.

"Rinnie...you called me Rinnie. That's not my name."

Teeth peek out from between those tender lips, exposing sharp canines. "I think it suits you well, don't you?"

Rin glances away, choosing instead to stare at the summer flowers on the bedside table. They are artfully arranged in a blue vase, the colours bright and beautiful. "I suppose so," he eventually mumbles, the sudden heat rushing to his face completely undoing the lord's efforts.

"How do you feel?" Jun asks worriedly, dabbing the corner of the cloth against his temple. "Are you in any pain?"

The Rat hums in thought, laying still for a moment. His back does throb quite badly, but it's definitely bearable as long as he doesn't move. "Not too bad," he says, daring a glance at Jun's haggard face. "What did your Healer do to me?"

"He had to clean and stitch your wound. The medications you are currently on are to fight infection and to ease your pain. I have also given you a fever reducer..." His cheeks suddenly darken in colour, drawing a confused look from the Rat. The lord catches this look and hurriedly says, "You will be fine. Hopefully your fever will break soon and you will start to feel much better."

"Do you normally act like a servant? Aren't lords supposed to tell everyone what to do and lounge around or whatever?"

Jun chuckles, brushing Rin's damp bangs from his brow. "I am studying medicine under Healer Wu, so naturally I would assist him with a patient."

"Really?" There's a flicker of surprise in the raven's tone. "Can lords become Healers?"

"As long as they study and take the examination. Yes, of course."

"Huh."

Dark orbs wander around the room (or the part of the room he can see), taking note of anything that looks expensive and portable. "This is a beautiful..." He trails off, unsure what to call it. Jun had called it a guest house, but even just this one room is bigger than Dasom's place. "Are you sure I can stay here? Isn't your old man gonna be pissed? I'm not exactly guest house material."

"My father..." The lord wears a complicated expression, his lips twisting into a wry smile that sits badly on his person. "My father is currently in the Blue Plains, so he does not know what happened. You don't have to worry. You can rest here for as long as you need." His expression dampens. Austerity sinking deep into his tired features. "Rinnie," he starts, in a low voice. "I must thank you. For saving my life. I...faltered, when I should have not. And as a result you were..." His jaw tightens as he struggles against a wave of anger, directed mostly at himself. "I may never be able to repay you."

Rin furrows his brows. He was ready to gloat and crow to the skies about his own heroic actions...but just looking at this miserable lord's face is enough to kill his desire to do so. He swallows dryly, a bitter taste in his mouth. "Yeah...it's nothing. No need to beat yourself up about it."

A brittle smile touches Jun's lips. "Thank you, Rinnie." He hesitates then, a question teeming on the tip of his tongue.

Rin raises a brow. “What is it?”

“I have to ask. Why did you save me? You hardly know me but you protected me at risk to your own life. I did not expect--” Jun starts and bites his tongue, cheeks burning. 

“You didn’t expect a Slummer to do that, right?” The raven hums, lips curling into a coy smile. “You’re not anything special, pet. I save people all the time. I must have saved hundreds by now. The Slums would be an utter hellhole without me.” A pause. “Well, more of a hellhole than it already is.”

Jun’s smile dazzles, blinding the Rat momentarily. His goldens are twin suns, peeking over the swelling horizon of his cheeks. “My apologies, Rinnie. But of course, it is in your nature to help people. The Slummers are indeed lucky to have you.”

The Rat huffs through his nose and twists his head, burying his face into his pillow. His heart rattles helplessly in his chest, causing a sweet ache.

Rin is certainly not the type to save people. In fact, he’s fucked over so many people in the Slums, that he was given a moniker to match his devious personality. Of course, he wears it like a badge of honour, proudly calling himself the Rat to any and all he meets. 

Even so, he’s just as prone to be swayed by people, especially those who show him a modicum of kindness. When his heart is moved, his mind and body follows, and these people become his entire world. His everything. With nothing and no-one in between. 

And at the first sign of rejection, he discards them without a second thought. And he’s left with a void he can only fill with drink and sex and violence. With nothing and no-one in between. 

It’s a symptom of the sickness he shares with his mother, and none that he’d care to ruminate on.

"What happened with Tiger and his goons?" Rin muffles, trying to ignore his fluttering stomach. "Did you fuck 'em up?"

When he raises his head from the pillow, he sees that Jun's eyes hold a certain coldness to them. The lord's voice is hollow with arctic ire. "I did not."

"Ah." Rin swallows under that intense stare and he brings his fingers to his lips, nervously picking at the dry skin. "Doesn't really matter. Once I'm on my feet, I'll fuck 'em up real good."

"Are there many others like him?" Jun asks, his tone a little flat.

"Hm? Yeah, I suppose so. You get by however you can and sometimes that means being a jackass like Tiger."

"But you are not like him."

Rin can't help but smirk at the lord's words. "No. Tiger's nothing but a cockroach and I'm at the top of the food chain. You don't know this, but I'm famous in the Slums. You don't mess with the Rat because the Rat bites back." He bares his teeth and clacks them together. The effect is anything but intimidating. Moreso awkward and endearing. "You won't find anyone like me anywhere, that I can promise you."

Jun's ire melts rapidly under the warm glow of the raven's foolery. He smiles and indulges in the lad, nodding and making impressed noises. "I see. And what makes you so different from others?"

This gives the Rat some pause, his forehead furrowing in thought. "Uh...well, I fight harder than anyone I know. And I'm definitely crazier than the average Slummer."

"Crazier?"

"Mn. Sometimes, when I get real mad, I kinda lose control."

"That seems rather normal."

"Nothing about it is normal."

"Everyone reacts to things differently. It is normal to have a unique reaction to stressful events."

Rin huffs with wry amusement. "When have you ever lost control?"

"Many times."

"Seriously?" Rin blinks in surprise. "You seem pretty kept together. Not a hair outta place."

Jun's gaze darkens ever so slightly, but he maintains his smile. "I tend to keep it quiet, so that no-one notices."

The Rat falls silent at that response, suddenly feeling a flicker of pity. He drinks in the sight of the exhausted boy and frowns. "You look like you haven't slept in days," he murmurs, cringing at the faint tremour in his voice. "You should sleep."

Jun soaks and wrings the cloth in a steel bowl full of ice water. He brings the cloth back to Rin's forehead and the latter automatically sighs in relief, lashes fluttering close as he savours the cold sensation. "I promised I would take care of you," Jun says, calmly. "And so I will."

Rin wrinkles his brow. A faint memory drifts into the forefront of his mind. Jun's voice...carrying him through an endless inferno of pain...keeping him sane...keeping him safe...

He pulls in a deep breath, trying to calm his pounding heart. "That's stupid. Just because you made a dumbass promise, doesn't mean you have to stop sleeping. Don't be an idiot. You look like you're about to pass out. What if you collapse on top of me and crush me, huh?"

Jun flips the cloth to the colder side, folds it, and carefully drapes it across the raven's forehead. He leans back in his seat, shoulders slumped, eyelids already drooping over sleepy goldens. "I suppose you have a point," he sighs, chin hitting his chest. "But only for a moment. I will rest my eyes...only for a moment..."

Seeing his patient awake and well must have alleviated much of his burden, for Jun rapidly descends into a deep sleep.

Rin watches the slumbering lord with a complicated expression. Tempestuous thoughts and emotions surge through his heart and mind. Eventually, his own eyes slide close, and he too falls asleep. And so the rest of the day passes in this manner, with the two boys sleeping peacefully and the summer breeze gently drifting over their resting forms.

Jun is such a mother hen sometimes, but I think being Rin's wife would be exhausting... (Ｔ▽Ｔ)