Jax 

"No, didn't seem to be something Esai could understand." I close my eyes, falling into the memory as if it were happening. 

"I screamed; I told him no repeatedly until I could no longer talk due to pain. I could taste bile at the back of my throat and tears on my lips. Every second I wanted to get away - yet I couldn't.

'Stop, I won't leave - I'm sorry.'

I said anything and everything I could, yet it didn't matter; he was lost to his instinct. I didn't think I could hate Esai; after all, we'd grown up together; slept together. Yet, despite not being mates, I felt a bond with him, almost as if a part of my soul resided within him. 

'I will never let you leave me.'

That was all he could say, and I was used to that, but he had never gone this far before. So I understood his fear; I, too, was scared; he was all I had, the only person I truly knew, yet I wanted more; the relationship was killing me, and I could see that it was also killing him."

Waters spills down across my lips, and I swallow.

"We met when his Father took me in as a child; we became brothers of a sort, but then as we grew, he became more. He was my first for everything, and I thought it was love. I thought the signs of love were jealousy and anger, constant arguments and blame, but they weren't. They were signs of Esaai's possessive and controlling nature; I was his and only his; I was not a person; I was a possession.  

I broke up with him five months ago and asked his Father if I could move away. He permitted me to leave and even offered to help me out, which I refused. If I were going to leave, I wanted to do it alone. 

Esai found out and came to me crying; I told him I would leave and we'd be better off, but he had other plans. 

Being the spoilt brat he was, he asked me for one final night together, and I stupidly said yes. I wanted us to end in a good way rather than a bad way; I suppose that backfired."

Hands clasp me, and I jump, realising that I am shivering beneath the warmth of the water. My teeth chatter, and I stare at Knox as he turns off the water and wraps me in a towel. 

"Sorry, I didn't want to disturb you, but your lips were turning blue."

I nod,

"Would you like to move to the bed? That way, you can stay warm whilst talking?"

 I nod, trusting Knox as he lifts me into his arms and carries me into the bedroom. He pulls back the covers and settles me beneath, cocooning me within the blankets. He wanders from the room for a minute and returns in a pair of joggers and a T-shirt. He settles himself on the bed beside me, and I wiggle onto my side to look at him. 

"We went for a round, and then he offered me a drink - I thought nothing of it as it was what he usually did. So I drank two cups full before the drug entirely took effect.

'Is it working now?'

His face blurred, and my body began to burn. I couldn't move or speak; I was completely frozen in place as he climbed over me. I can remember the sound that came from the back of my throat as he touched me; I can still feel his hands on my body as I slurred him to stop. 

He had induced my heat, and my body reacted as it would, which to some Alphas means I wanted it. 

'I will impregnate you, and then you can never leave.'

He did his best; for hours daily, he filled me like I was a broodmare and plugged me up to ensure nothing slipped out whilst he was away. My stomach bulged, and I was in so much pain that I wanted to die. 

Someone would come in daily, feed and wash me and then drug me again; I can't remember how much of the drug was forced down my throat; I lost count. 

One day, I remained lucid; he entered the room and knew immediately that I was fully conscious. He smiled at me with a smile I once adored, yet at that moment and even now, I can think of nothing but what he did to me. He walked over to me, pressed his hand against my stomach and kissed me. 

'You loved everything that I did; your body reacted beautifully. I think we've made a baby the way we've been.'

I broke into tears and screamed; he took it for happiness; that was how delusional he was. 

That night, he let me remain completely conscious, and I remembered everything. The way he positioned me and fucked me - I was too numb and weak from the drugs, so I couldn't fight him off or get away. 

At that moment, I remember genuinely wanting to die; I didn't want to live anymore. My body was no longer my own; Esai controlled it. I felt dirty and alone, and that night when he'd plugged me up and left, I curled into a ball and cried until I couldn't anymore. 

My stupid body was too weak, and I hated it. 

In the end, a Guard helped me escape, I didn't learn his name, but I had never felt so grateful. He was supposed to clean me up after my night, but instead, he unlocked my chains, helped me wash and dress and handed me a pill to terminate the possible pregnancy if I wanted to. 

I learnt that I'd been there a month, and Esai's Father thought I'd left, which is why no one came looking for me. But when Esai's butler learnt the truth and reported what he was doing, his Father sent the man in. 

He handed me a bag and drove me to the border of the S-District; he gave me what little money he had and told me not to stop running until I made it to A-District. His kindness was the only thing that kept me running; I hid within O-District for a while before moving onto I-District. That was when I followed the pathway into A-District, and you know the rest from there."

Knox cups my face, his brow furrowed as his thumb soothes away a stray tear.

"You were on the run from him for four months?"

I nod and then break into a sob. Arms clasp around me, and I sink into them, holding my arms tightly around my mates as he rubs his hand up and down my back.    

"If I hadn't found you, I don't know what I would have done."

I hiccup into his chest, holding his shirt as if it could keep him locked beside me forever.                              

"I'm sorry that I didn't find you sooner."

I feel his lips settle on my head,

"I'm sorry I can't terminate this contract with him."

I peer up to look at Knox. His canines peek out from his lip, and I swallow; it was hot. 

"You have no reason to be sorry, and I don't want you to terminate a contract because of me. As long as you stay by my side, I will be ok."

He stares down at me suspiciously. Did he not believe me?

"I know inside my soul that you will never hurt me; you will protect me to the best of your ability no matter what. So you should continue with the business, and I will adjust; just never leave my side."

Both of his hands clasp my face.

"I promise to stay by your side forever."