THE PAST

The Mac & Cheese with meatballs had come right out of the oven, and it tasted good; better than anything he would have made. His own mother never really had any cooking skills, it felt like every minute that she had to spend in the kitchen was one too much and it gave Juan the feeling that the kitchen had been his father's domain once.

"So Juan... Have you asked a girl to the Jubilee Prom?"

Emilio's mother dragged him out of his thoughts before they could wander off in the direction of his father - although this subject wasn't that much better. He felt his cheeks glow as he placed his fork into his food. How was it possible that she asked that question today of all days? It must have been some sort of maternal intuition and even though that might have been flattering at any other moment, he was wishing that she had never brought it up.

Juan looked briefly at his friend, who raised his eyebrows in surprise as their eyes met.

"Damn, you look like a tomato." Emilio started to laugh. "Does that mean yes?" He widened his eyes. "Holy shit, you really asked a girl!"

Juan wished he could disappear. He had hoped Emilio would never find out.

"Who is it?"

Juan shrugged his shoulders. He tried to fake a confident grin, but failed miserably. "You'll see," he answered on a shrug.

Emilio gave him the finger and ignored the angry look his mother shot him. "Tell me dude. Who is it?"

When Juan still kept silent, he started to laugh. "Holy shit dude. Are you serious? You got a crush?"

His teasing undertone was already annoying Juan. "No man. Just some girl," he muttered.

"From school? Or did your brother get you a chick? He has to get me one too, you got to hook it up. Those bitches are way hotter than the ones from school man." He smirked, throwing a glance at his mother, who glared at her son again.

For Juan it sounded as a way out, so he nodded. "Yeah. Mateo got me a hot chick. He knows what I like."

The look in Emilio's eyes told him he wasn't buying it, but Juan didn't care. Now that June had turned him down he might actually take one of Mateo's friends and since former students were also invited to the prom, so he knew for sure his brother would be there too, if only to rock the boat. The only girls Juan had ever kissed had been ones that had shown up to one of his brother's parties. He didn't see why he couldn't go with one of them, they were easier to ditch anyway without hurting someone's feelings. He would rather not do that at all, but if June really changed her mind... He wasn't gonna blow that change for a girl he didn't know at all.

He knew he shouldn't get his hopes up, but he couldn't help himself.

. . .

Juan hung around with the Sanchez family until close to nine; they played FIFA on the playstation until Emilio's father came home from work and wanted to watch sports while he had dinner.

Only when Juan was on his way back home, did he think about June again and about the fact Emilio hadn't said another word about his date. In the end he shrugged his shoulders, maybe his friend did believe him.

At least the lights were on in the house when he walked up. He put the key in the hole and opened the door. The smell of pot was floating toward him as he came inside and as soon as he'd closed the door he opened a window to let some of the smell out.

"Yo little brother," Mateo grinned. He'd slumped down on the couch, his feet up on the coffee table. He took a drag from his joint. "Where were you?"

"At Emilio's," he answered shortly, opening another window.

"Aah. Saw Michelle yesterday. Might be fifty, but I would still do her."

Juan was smart enough not to answer; he walked to the kitchen and filled a glass with juice and made his way back to the living room. He sat down next to his brother and cast a glance at the tv, it was some kind of cop show.

"Here." Mateo offered him a second joint.

"No thanks," he muttered.

Mateo nudged his knee with his own. "Don't be such a baby. Let's have some bro time."

"Mom will kick you out when she comes back and smells the pot."

Mateo snorted. "Don't think so. I'm paying half of the rent. If I leave, she'll end up in a whorehouse. Not that she would mind."

Juan looked at his brother; was he really paying their rent? With what money? The pizza place he was doing deliveries for, couldn't be paying much.

"What? Ya didn't know?" He started to laugh. "Grow up, boy. All the money that she's saving is for herself and for our dear sister, so she can get her good grades at her fancy college. Don't fool yourself; you won't see a nickel of it. As soon as you graduate, she will make you get some job every dickhead can do and then she will claim all your cash. I get why dad dumped her."

Juan took the joint when Mateo held it in front of his face again and leaned back sighing. Ma would flip out anyway, whether he was lighting up one himself or not. At least his brother was chiller when he got his way and he wasn't in the mood for more drama.

For a long time Juan stared at the ceiling. With a heavy feeling in his chest he thought about June. Her sweet smile, her soft melodic voice, which he had heard so many times, but never before today was it directed at him.

"I asked a girl to the Jubilee Prom," he told his brother without looking aside. He took another drag. "She's a real beauty. And she's sweet. But she didn't want me." He heaved a sigh and watched how a small spider crossed the ceiling. "Because of you, ya know. Because you're my brother. And I really liked her."

Next to him he heard Mateo chuckle. "She rather goes with me? Sorry little brother. Can't help it if I'm a chick magnet."

"She thinks you're a dick. Says you ditch girls on Prom night."

The cracking of the worn-out leather couch told him his brother shrugged his shoulders. "Only the ugly ones." He said dismissively.

"She's beautiful." Juan smiled a bit dreamily, then his face grew gloomy again. "But she doesn't want me."

Suddenly there were piercing fingers around his chin. Roughly Mateo turned his face to the side. "Stop whinin', you're embarrassing. You want her? Then claim her. Haven't I taught you a damn thing over the past few years? If you want something, you have to take it. Nobody is gonna give you anything." He let go of Juan's face, but kept looking at him with a burning gaze. "I'm serious, Juan. If you wanna fuck her, just do it." He smirked. "And since we're sharin' the same genes, I can assure you she won't complain. Some bitches just need a bit more attention. But in the end, they all want the same."

Mateo winked, stood up to grab a couple of beers from the fridge and placed one in front of Juan. With a head full of confusion Juan picked it up and took a sip, contemplating his brother's words – he wanted her for more than just a fuck, but could Mateo still be right? He didn't care about the fact his mom would become even angrier if she caught her underage son with alcohol too. At least then he would get a bit of attention from her, he thought ironically.