THE PAST

They didn't speak a word to each other until they had entered the ice cream parlour and were standing in front of the display case. Juan stood close to her and she felt him place his hand on her lower back very lightly as he leaned in to her to speak.

"What flavour do you want?"

She turned a bit so that she had a better view of the different flavours, which caused her back to press against his arm. Her heart was pounding in her chest and she could barely read what was written on the labels. Unconsciously, she leaned a bit more towards him until his arm was tight against her back. She felt how he hesitantly slipped his hand around her hip and pulled her a little closer; when she looked up him, her legs felt like they had turned to jelly when he showed her a shy smile.

June barely dared to breathe. It felt so nice to stand so close to him, to feel his arm around her. Somewhere in the back of her mind there was a whispering voice asking her how many other girls he had stood this way with, but something about his attitude gave her the reassurance that there weren't many.

She had forgotten about the ice cream long ago and was only reminded of where she was when the cashier asked them what he could get for them. Quickly she turned back her attention to the ice creams in front of her. "Eh, a little scoop of vanilla and strawberry please," she said quickly, mentioning the first flavours she could see in front of her. Her cheeks turned red.

Juan chose a chocolate and raspberry cone for himself and pulled his wallet out of his pocket to pay. He took away his arm from her back to count the bills and handed them to the man. When he didn't wrap his arm around her again, disappointment seeped into her heart.

"You've gotten ice cream here before?" he asked her as they were waiting until their ice creams were ready. It was clear as day he was trying to get a conversation going – which was much more than she had done herself.

"No," she answered quietly. "You have?"

A grin played around his lips. "I think I've tried all ice-cream joints within six miles from my place, but this one is absolutely one of my favorites." He took the ice creams from the seller and reached out, passing the vanilla-strawberry one to her. Clumsily she took it from him, afraid she would drop it if she accidentally touched his fingers.

The place had started to get a bit crowded, so they decided to leave the building. It felt too late to try and continue on the same subject, resulting in another awkward silence.

Silently June licked her ice cream, hoping she didn't look too stupid. Now and then her eyes flashed to his tongue and she could swear he did the same. Did he also wonder what kissing her would be like? The thought squeezed her throat. She would probably suck at it... she had never kissed a boy before. Just the thought alone of feeling his lips on hers, made her legs shaky.

"Did uh – didn't Beth try to stop you when you went after me?" he asked after a while.

June forced herself to look at him. Hesitating, she nodded. "She did. But uh, I went anyway."

There was that smile again, making her insides glow.

"Yea, I'm glad you did. It almost makes me feel grateful to my brother." A red glow spread across his cheeks. "But he never should have asked you... that question. I'm sorry. It's just... I never really liked a girl before and Mateo and Emilio think they are helping and that it's funny or something." He looked away from her and focused on his ice cream.

June was feeling even hotter. Had he really never liked a girl before? That was hard to believe – especially if she was the one who had caught his eye now. Before she could come up with a response, Juan tripped over his own feet. In an attempt to keep himself from hitting the ground, his hand reached for her shoulder. She tried to catch him, but she wasn't quick or strong enough. He fell onto the ground, his ring catching and pulling along the sleeve of her sweater. This caused June to stumble too; the fabric of her sweater cutting into her neck as it pulled and with a ripping sound her sweater became torn, unable to withstand the momentum and weight of Juan falling. Dazed she noted there was now a rip stretching from her neck down to her elbow.

"Oh shit. Sorry June, sorry. Are you okay? Are you in any pain?"

"No, I'm fine," she muttered, still a bit confused as it had all happened so quickly. As she stood up from where she had fallen, her sweater slid down, revealing the cup of her bra. Because of her fall and the way her sweater had pulled she realized that it wasn't fully covering her breast and with flaming cheeks she turned away from Juan, readjusting the cup over her nipple and keeping the torn pieces of her sweater together. She blinked away the tears. Had he seen anything? She didn't dare to turn back toward him.

"June? I'm so sorry... It was an accident..."

With her free hand, that felt sticky because of the ice cream, she wiped her eyes. Her ankle pounded, she felt the pain now that the shock had drifted away.

Juan walked around her, as if he wanted to look her in the eye. "It really was an accident. You – you know that, right?"

She pressed her lips together, taking a deep breath through her nose. Only a perverse asshole would do something like that on purpose and June couldn't help to think that his brother was exactly such a person.

Was Beth right? Was Juan just like his brother? Had one of his stupid friends filmed this? Her eyes shot to the bystanders, but nobody seemed to be paying any attention to them.

"Did you see..." Her bottom lip quivered, she swallowed the words my breast since it sounded unbelievably dumb. But he seemed to know what she meant, for he bent his head.

"Sorry. I wasn't looking purposely, but..." He rubbed his hand across his head. "I dunno what to say, except that I'm sorry." He looked to the side. "There's a shop over there. You want me – you want me to buy you somethin' new?"

June sighed shakily. She could make it home if she used a safety pin from her bag, she didn't need him to get her something new. "You don't have to. I– I'm going home. Um, sorry..."

She saw the disappointed look on his face, making her feel even worse. Jordy would have laughed about this, why couldn't she? Unless he was a great actor, she didn't believe he had done this on purpose. But she still couldn't look at him again – mainly because of her own embarrassment. So she turned her back to him and walked away as quickly as she could, before he could say anything more.