THE PAST

June let her hands slip across the burgundy, silky fabric. It was a beautiful dress, perhaps the most expensive garment she had ever worn. A gift from Jordy. Her shoulders were bare, the short sleeves rested upon her upper arms, as if a continuation of the modest neckline. The bodice hugged her upper body perfectly and from her waist the dress fell down as if in waves, hiding her dainty heels from view.

Shawna had put up her hair for the evening, leaving only a few strands to curl down along her face. A little dazed she stared into the mirror on the closet door, the only thing she needed to look like a princess, was a tiara.

She never felt this way about herself, but she looked pretty.

Jordy's arm slipped around her waist as she kissed her cheek. "You are so beautiful, June. If Juan doesn't make a move tonight, I'm going to lock the two of you inside a closet until you have kissed."

June's cheeks flushed. Since the fall incident she hadn't talked to him and that was more than two weeks ago. Now and then they had been peeking at each other and a few days ago she had even knocked over her soup because she had caught him smiling at her, but after that stupid action she hadn't dared to look at him anymore.

"Do you regret that you aren't going to prom with him?" Shawna asked, tying a red ribbon around her waist that contrasted with her white dress.

June laced her fingers. Every night that had passed since Juan had asked her, she had stared at the ceiling, wondering what it would be like to go to prom with him. To walk hand in hand through the hall, to be held by him during a slow dance...

"I think my nerves would have been so bad that I would have been too sick to leave the house," she admitted.

The nervousness had already nestled into every cell of her body, even though it remained to be seen if she would be able to talk to him at all tonight. Maybe he had found some beautiful girl who hadn't been too scared to go with him.

"Who are you going with?" she asked Jordy. Her friend had always found it ridiculous that a boy was expected to ask a girl, so she had wanted to take the initiative herself. It however had turned out to be hard to choose someone, so that June had been afraid that she wouldn't ask someone at all. Her idea of who her perfect date could be had changed with every passing day.

"I'm going with Marley."

"Marley?"

"Yeah, you'll recognize him when you see him. Dark dreads, beautiful smile..." She showed a wide grin. "Too stoned to ask someone himself." She shrugged her shoulders. "He's cute. Not my first choice, but we can't all be the lucky ones."

"Then who was your first choice?"

Jordy chuckled, leaning towards the mirror as she applied a thick layer of eyeliner. "I was in a noble mood, willing to sacrifice myself for you."

"What?" June asked, frowning.

"I figured that if I could keep Emilio busy all night, there would be a bigger chance that Juan would get up the nerve to go talk to you. But sadly, Emilio found my proposal hilarious, laughed in my face and told me he would go to the circus if he wanted to see clowns."

Jordy's face looked dismissive and indifferent, but her tone told June his words had hurt her. She might dress herself differently than the rest of the school and attract attention with her partly shaved blue hair; but she still wanted people to like or at least respect her for having her own style.

"Would you really have done that?" Shawna asked with giant eyes. "Spend the whole evening with him just for June?"

"Well, he is looking good these days..."

"That's the only thing one can possibly like about him," Shawna mumbled, her eyes aimed at the ground. "A few days ago he took my lunch and told me I was too ugly to look at and that I didn't need to keep fatten myself up."

"That's what I mean! Those rude comments have to be coming from somewhere, right? I would like to know why he's acting like an asshole all the time." She shrugged her shoulders. "He has to have a nice side too. Maybe he just needs someone to remind him of it."

June was impressed by the way her friend was always trying to approach people in a positive way. If someone had said something that rude to her, she wouldn't feel the need to get to know him. But maybe her friend was right. There also had to be a reason why he was Juan's best friend, right?

June glanced at her nightstand, where her alarm clock was standing. Within half an hour her date would pick her up. A week ago Rodey had asked her to the Jubilee prom. Being asked by someone from the football team had been the last thing she had expected, but Rodey was Jordy's cousin and June had the feeling he only asked her to do his cousin a favor. It was hard to imagine he had wanted to ask her himself; they had never talked and there were always lots of girls circling around him.

The prospect that she would have to spend an evening with a boy she didn't know, had resulted in her finger nails being the outlet for her anxiety. There had been multiple times in which she had considered just staying home, just like Beth was, but again and again Jordy had persuaded her to go.

She aimed her glance at Shawna, who didn't look any less nervous than June felt. She had the same lack of experience with boys as June, and it had been Jordy who had also arranged her date; a somewhat quiet boy who tutored her in math. June only knew him by sight, but he looked just as insecure as Shawna and she had a feeling they would be okay together.

How she pictured her own prom going, she didn't know. Instead of her date, it was Juan who was constantly on her mind and she wondered how he would feel now, knowing that she was going with a guy who didn't have a better reputation than Juan's friends when it was up to girls. The excuse she had given him when she turned him down, felt useless now, and even though Rodey was June's cousin had been the only reason she had agreed to go with him, it still didn't make up for the fact that she was going with a guy she barely knew.

"I think you should go," she said, hesitating. "Before your dates are at your doors without you being home. "

The girls nodded, giving her a hug. "We'll see you at the prom!"

. . .

At exactly 8 PM the bell rang. Her two little sisters ran to the window, giggling as they spied upon the visitor. June took a deep breath, gave her mother a kiss and walked to the hallway.

She put on the black jacket she had laid out and opened the door. Rodey was leaning with one shoulder propped against the door jam, with a nonchalantly air around him. As soon as she stepped over the threshold though, a surprised look crossed his face.

"Wow, you look beautiful, June." His voice sounded friendlier than she remember. He dipped his head to kiss her cheek. "You ready to go?"

Hesitating, she nodded. Rodey offered her his hand and June laid hers into it, where after they walked to the car together. For a moment she imagined it was Juan who was walking next to her, that he was the one who had told her she looked beautiful, who was holding her hand. A pink glow spread across her cheeks at the thought. Regret swirled through her nervous body and quietly she sat down in the dark green car.

"Are you excited for tonight?" he asked, starting the engine, taking off in the direction of the event. Before she could answer though, he laid a hand on her thigh.

June stared at it as it rested heavily upon her leg, she didn't like his touch. There was something compelling about it, and June had to remind herself that he was Jordy's cousin and that he was doing this as a favor ‒ no strings attached. As soon as a boy draped an arm around her or laid a hand on her leg she felt like she clammed up, nerves rising.

Trying to shake off her unrest, she nodded. "Yes," she said softly. "Everyone is looking forward to it."

The atmosphere stayed a little forced as they drove towards where the prom was being held. June asked questions about his training and the last match he had played. She didn't care much about sports, but it was clear he loved to talk about it and it allowed her to sit in silence through the ride.

June felt relieved as they arrived at the parking lot, now she wouldn't have to be alone with him for much longer. Her relief however disappeared as they passed a bright blue car that she recognized immediately. A group of people had gathered around it and her stomach twisted as her glance caught Mateo. Not even for a moment had she considered that he would be here tonight.

Would he recognize her? The nerves increased, after Rodey had parked the car and she got out, needing to lean against the vehicle for a while as her knees felt weak.

Her hands were clammy and her breathing was tight in her throat. Suddenly she wished Jordy was around; she could have taken away the tension with a single comment. Secretly she had hoped Rodey was a bit more like his cousin, she never would have expected that those two were family. He was wearing a cobalt blue suit with a white shirt and tie. His dark brown hair was gleaming because of all the gel he'd put into it. There was no question that he was absolutely good looking, but everything about him felt fake; the way he talked and walked, even his smile didn't seem genuine. He swung his arm around her as they crossed the parking lot and his hand hugged her hip. She needed to restrain herself from pulling away from him, especially when he guided them closer to the blue car.

Her hands were shaking as they neared the small group. He was there too – she could feel it. It felt like Rodey knew about her feelings too; suddenly he pulled her closer, so quickly that she almost tripped over her own feet. She didn't dare to look away from the ground as they passed the group. She heard Mateo's voice, but she was too nervous to focus on his words. Part of her was expecting that he would sneer at her, luckily that didn't happen.

Quickly she walked further. Only when she had entered the building and handed off her jacket at the coat check, her breathing normalized a bit.

But not for long.

When she turned around, she found herself looking straight into Emilio's eyes, as a way too wide grin spread across his face.

"Holy shit, June!" His eyes wandered across her body. "You should leave those sweaters in your wardrobe more often! Tonight my homie isn't gonna be the only who's getting a boner because of you."

Suddenly a loud slap sounded and his head shot forward. Wildly he turned around, but he didn't hit back.

"That's no way to talk to beautiful ladies."

June's eyes almost popped out of their sockets as she noticed Mateo, who pushed the boy away from her.

He bowed towards her and whispered in her ear: "Do me a favor and give my little brother a bit attention tonight. I think he spent even more time in front of the mirror than you."

A fat wink followed, where after he swung his arm around a red haired girl and disappeared in the crowd.

A second later she felt a hand on her own waist. For a split second the hope flamed that it was Juan, but it wasn't. She was sure she would have sensed him being so close.

"What did he want from you?" Rodey's voice sounded close to her ear.

"Nothing," she muttered quickly. Her eyes fluttered through the crowded room as they maneuvered their way to the hall. After a few steps she saw him, only a meter from the entrance. With wide eyes he stared at her, and when their eyes met, he lifted his hand and waved. He didn't look as slick as Rodey; he was wearing a dark jeans with a black vest upon a white shirt, without a tie. Blushes appeared on her cheeks; he looked really handsome without pretending to be someone else – which June felt she was doing by wearing Jordy's beautiful dress.

For a while they just stared at each other. June didn't even notice she stopped, frozen in the moment, holding her breath. She only became aware of that when the beautiful blonde girl next to him turned around, smiled and grabbed his hand.

June felt a pang in her chest and turned her face away. She really was a beautiful girl, he was probably glad she had rejected him.

The grasp on her hip became firmer, reminding her that Rodey was still holding her close. Swallowing a sigh, she walked on and entered the banquet hall. Hopefully she would find her friends soon. Or did Rodey expect that she would stay with him and his friends for the whole evening?