So the next day, I bring my sketchbook and comfortably sit on a blanket near the car. Jack puts down the tools and looks at them meticulously.

"Forgot something?" I ask.

"Yes," Jack nods thoughtfully.

"What?"

Instead of answering, he kisses me.

"This," he smiles. And we're kissing for several minutes. Then Jack pulls himself back and gets up from the blanket. It irritates me a little.

Since Jack and I have been sharing these feelings, I discovered another side of me I didn't know before. I like seeing Jack's desire, and I want to tease him a little more to make sure once again that the feeling is mutual.

I take off my shirt. I'm certainly not as cut as Jack, and I can't bare my torso as casually as he did. Instantly feeling uncomfortable, I quickly turn away. Jack asks me to give him a wrench.

"This one?" I poke my finger at the nearest one.

"Yes," Jack replies. I suspect a catch, but I still come closer. Of course, Jack does not need the wrench. He grabs me in the arms and puts me on the blanket. He unbuttons my pants, and I do the same with his pants, but again with much less certainty.

Yes, naturally, I have masturbated, but I have never done it to anyone else, and no one has done it to me. This is something new in my life again. And again, it happens with Jack.

Jack opens his hand, though I needed a little more time to finish. He kisses me on the stomach and then sinks lower.

This is also the first time.

It feels like I'm losing one virginity after another with Jack.

I haven't even really thought about such things...

I don't know how to do it right...

I can not think...

I can not...

I...

I'm trying to catch my breath. I'm trying to come to my senses. Jack is hovering above me. Wiping his lips, he takes my hand in his.

"Sit on top," he says. I will burn with shame. He sees me from head to toe.

"Won't it be easier like this?" Jack smiles. Is he kidding? But I want him to feel as good as I do. So I bend over and kiss him, moving my hand, stroking him. When Jack comes, I have a strange feeling of pleasure that it happened because of me.

And yet... I'm not at ease. I'm nervous. So I quickly pull on my T-shirt and pants. But Jack is in no hurry. It looks like he dozed off. I watch as he breathes in and out, and I can't believe that I can touch him all over. His neck, collarbone, arms... That I can easily slide my fingers from his chin along his entire body just like that.

Oh no... I can't...

I try to cover him with his T-shirt, and Jack opens his eyes.

Why is everything so simple for him?

Jack gets dressed and walks to the car. His smile and kind eyes convince me that he is not offended by anything. And I'm glad.

I get down to my sketches. For some reason, I'm ashamed to show them to Jack...

I draw people mainly. I love the beauty of the human body. And I haven't seen that many bodies. No wonder that now all my thoughts are circling around Jack's body...

Work doesn't even seem hard when I'm with Jack. We spend every day together, and it feels like we are getting closer and closer. I feel comfortable around him. I like to talk to him. And he never makes me feel awkward. Well, it's not quite true... My awkwardness is of a different kind. I just can't look at him calmly.

In my opinion, this is officially my first love...

Well, I have good taste for sure...

We work late at the stable. Then Jack goes to his house and returns from there with a pack of beer. Together we go behind the barn.

"But I'm underage," I try to argue.

"First of all, we are at home, and there are no police here. And secondly, if you don't want - don't drink. I'm not going to force you or anything," Jack smiles and opens the bottle. I also take one.

I haven't drunk before. I tried beer a couple of times and didn't like it. But with Jack, things work out differently.

I absentmindedly watch the ladybug crawling up my leg, and I say, "You see, for it, my leg is the whole world. If I crush it now or throw it somewhere, it will practically see the will of God. And this does not happen in our life."

Jack nods thoughtfully. My thoughts are getting blurred, turning into spots of color. I want to tell him so much...

"You're very handsome, Jack," I say. I thought alcohol would strip me of the embarrassment, but no... "I never thought that someone like you could like someone like me."

Jack places a kiss on my temple, "Aiden, you're beautiful, don't you know it?"

"You really think so?"

"Of course!" Jack exclaims. "Can't you see you're driving me crazy?"

It's his answer that drives me crazy. But I feel bitter. Memories are freer in the drunken head.

"Well... My father... said I was a filthy brat. And... my mother said that no one could love someone like me."

Why am I saying this? I thought that I no longer had this pain inside. But it's there. Always was. And I can't hold back the tears.

"Hey, hey," Jack tries to turn my face up. "Look at me, Aiden. Come on. Look at me." He wipes my tears. "Are you listening to me, Aiden?" Jack says softly, and I want to drink his voice because he sounds sweet. "You're driving me crazy. I am not kidding. Every day, I lose my mind when I look at you. So much I want you."

How can he say that?

Now he seems to be a perfect person... With a perfect face, body, heart, and soul. How he cares about me, how he supports me, how... he loves...

I fall asleep on his shoulder. And I had no idea how much I wanted it - a shoulder I can so sweetly sleep on. Because at that moment, I felt the most boundless trust.

Jack is trying to wake me up. And I can't understand whether my eyes are open or not. Pitch darkness stands around.

"I had such a strange dream," I mutter while Jack leads me God knows where. "You sang me a song... um... Yeah, it was "Dreamer," I start humming the tune in a discordant voice, and, oddly enough, Jack sings along with me.

As I said, the perfect person.