Who was this girl?
Zachary could not help but ponder that question. Anyone with a sane mind would know better than to approach him, let alone talk to and accompany him in such a manner.
He almost tripped as the girl rushed him but he caught himself at the last second. She moved ahead and he followed quickly beside her so as to not let himself drown in the rain. They kept their march on, not uttering a word to each other, but not shedding bitterness to one another either. Zachary was too caught up in his mind that he couldn’t process the situation. As for the girl, she just carried the umbrella with a smile, satisfied that she was able to achieve her goal.
“Why are you doing this?” He asked.
If he were to be put in an opposing position, if he were to be in the girl’s place, he was sure that he would not help himself. Even if it was anyone else, happy or sad, kind or cruel, rich or poor, he would not help them. No one cared to stop anymore. That was just how the world was.
“Is there any reason not to?” That was the answer she responded with.
An answer baffling enough to keep him in a whirlpool.
Thinking back, he was surprised at finding himself able and willing to speak with the girl instead of brushing her off — he even went as far as to tell her what was the right method of transportation. It was true that he was quite hostile towards her, but he could have done what he did best and ignored her. Yet he spoke up. Deep down, he wanted a reason to speak up, he just didn’t know it.
Still, he failed to find comfort in this silent stroll across the rain. There was nothing on his mind to bring up in a conversation.
“Oh, have you heard?” The girl said in an almost disinterested manner.
「Great! Another rumor, that’s what everyone’s good at these days.」
There are always certain methods to start a conversation: “Check it out!” or “Listen to this!” or “Have you heard?” Just these three keywords are enough to spark interest in the listener’s eyes and tangle their ears like an antenna. But they also happen to be major benefactors in starting up a rumor. Almost no conversation nowadays started without a rumor. That was why Zachary had his suspicions — and why he was extremely tired of them.
“What? Old man Philip finally bit the dus—”
“I heard Hye-mi Myung is holding a meet-and-greet and a writing contest on her behalf in the next few days.” Said the girl with her eyes sparkling with curiosity. “— The deadline for the submission is pretty close. But like, is that actually true? I mean, can you believe it? In this town?”
“Huh?!” Zachary stopped in his tracks, almost getting the rain to drop on him before the girl turned a few steps backward with her umbrella to cover him. “W-Who are you talking about?” He smiled wryly, feigning ignorance to the fact that he knew very well who she was talking about.
This was the first time he ever met a potential fan of Myung’s work in real life, yet he did not want to talk about her. He did not want to waste energy.
“Well, look at that… you actually can smile,” she pointed out his out-of-character behavior (in terms of his “normal” behavior) which took him by surprise as well. “Anyway, I thought you actually knew her. You’re not one for gossip, aren’t you?”
「Why would anyone be? It’s a pain in the ass. Both for us and for them. There’s nothing to gain. Just a waste of energy to everyone.」
If there was one thing he got right in his life, it was his resentment for rumors and gossip. It wasn’t out of a personal experience, he was always out of the picture that nothing of what he did garnered much attention, and even if one did, he didn’t have it in him to care.
“Anyway, you can just forget about what I was going to say since you don’t know her and all—”
「Good, don’t care anyway.」
But what came out of his mouth was completely different.
“I know of her, the author of “Stage-Set,” right?”
Why did he press the conversation further? He didn’t know. He was in a bizarre conflict with his own mind, a battle of actuality and delusions.
“Yes yes,” the girl seemed happy, satisfied that she was able to converse with someone of his likeness. “If you “know of her,” then you probably know about her strange antics, amirite?” She said with a sly smile as she pushed her elbow against his arm.
“Antics?!”
This time, Zachary was completely clueless about what she was referring to.
“Well, you see,” she chuckled, “She has this certain attitude that I can’t put a finger on, sometimes it feels like she’s looking down on everyone — at least that’s what I thought initially — but that’s where the antics come in, she does a lot of stuff any of us could do, gets in trouble like anyone else, and doesn’t act almighty at all, she’s so down-to-earth. Yeah, I know I have a knack for bringing people together, but she’s just on another level that I don’t know if I can strive to. She’s good at what she does.”
「She sure likes the sound of her own voice.」
It was at that point that he also happened to realize that her accent seemed outworldly and a bit simpler than his. He was always used to hearing that only in movies and the like, never in real life.
That aside, Zachary found himself more interested in the stories about Myung’s character as it felt bizarre yet enticing to hear it from another person and what they think of her. He never knew Myung personally nor of her true personality.
“But why are you so interested in Myung?” He expressed his thoughts without an ounce of hesitation, “Why do you compare yourself to her?”
“Why?!” She stopped all of a sudden and looked at him with the most serious expression, showing off her determination toward that vague goal he was yet to know about. “It’s just… I wanna be like her. So many times, I find myself reading her books for hours on end — I know everyone probably feels the same and it’s not something new — but I just… fall deep into her world and feel this amazing sensation. And then I think to myself… I wanna do the same… I want to write and bring people into my world, I want to inspire others just like she does to me. I’m tired of sitting back and doing nothing and just listening to my parents bossing me around. Everything just seems so black and white when I’m not reading her books. But it makes me think, if she sees her world as she portrays it, then maybe I can be like her too. I want to be an author.”
It was then that Zachary’s thoughts halted.
「Those words…」
“Y-You…” He looked for an answer. “Why did you talk to me? Why do you want to be an author?”
Those were his own words, his own feelings, his goal for escaping this monotonous life.
Comments (0)
See all