I waited for a reaction, preparing myself for confusion at best or anger and disbelief at worst. 

Erin spoke first, "what do you mean when you say you have to die?" She asked eyes narrowed at me with confusion. 

"When I am injured so severely where someone else could not survive, Im forced into a different reality." I answer not making eye contact. 

Not only is it uncomfortable to tell people that you have died previously, but that it was the reason you missed their birthday and made them believe you had abandoned them. That's not something that is easily prepared for. 

"What happened to you then?" Hailey asked softly. 

"I was hit by a bus." Trying to keep a straight face is not easy. I don't think they are comfortable enough with this concept for jokes. 

Softly from the corner of the room Sebastian broke his quiet observing to ask "How was your dad different?" 

I stared at him first, only for a second. Taking in his beauty and memorizing how his face had changed, how his vitiligo had grown with him when I was gone. 

"He didn't need to die, he could take me with him. But I'm not sure where he is now or why he left." 

A knock sounded at the door, a "come in" was shouted by Shawn. Jon was back, he smiled at Seb not getting anything in return. I rolled my eyes causing Erin to giggle when she saw. 

"All soldiers are back except one Forest Division." Jon said. The air turned heavy. I could assume that this wasn't good news. 

"Who is in the group?" Hailey asked standing up, "Jason Marks, Miller Marks, and Stephanie Philips." Erin gasped putting a hand over her mouth, obviously distressed at the news of some one in the group. 

Hailey immediately jumped into action. "Erin, you and Sebastian are on the retraction team. Jon get the map of the movements that team was on. Shawn get everything that they will need ready. October you will be joining them as well." 

I was to focused on how cool I thought Hailey sounded, to register what she had said. Did she think that just because I couldn't technically die I had more powers? Because if we are being honest, my "powers" were just god showing off her sense of humor. 

God won't let me die, and I'd like some fucking rest. But that isn't gonna help fight off some white eyed monsters who kiss you to turn you. With is arguably worse than the popular biting trope. 

I've died from snake bites, spider bites and other tiny things in the woods with teeth. I've been attacked by a bear and while I did win, the bear didn't lose. All this to say I'm not good with the outdoors. 

"I don't think that's a good idea Hailey." I say hoping she won't push. 

But she does. So I will be going into the woods.