Most stories begin at the beginning and run straight through till the end. This one, begins in the middle. Somewhere after the beginning, but long before the end.
Prince Takayoshi liked the moment when it first started to snow. When the first fat flakes drifted down from the skies like downy bits of fluff. It had long been his habit to stay up to watch the first flakes fall, no matter how late. Coating the world in a blanket of white that left it feeling new—cleansed.
Not now though.
Now, the snow reminded him of how far he was up the mountain, Lunette and her prince feeling like a distant summertime daydream. Worn, and fading around the edges. Even the memory of the first time Takayoshi had seen him. The one that held the first real traces of color Takayoshi had seen since he was five years old.
Takayoshi closed his eyes, and retreated back to that memory. Back to the way Cricket had flopped into the chair across from him, all midnight hair, and dazzling starlit eyes. Blue, he remembered thinking, that's what blue looks like. And then Cricket had almost fallen face first out of his chair, and Takayoshi had been lost entirely. Because how could one person be that hopelessly charming, and just not realize it? It would not have mattered if they were soulmates or not, if Takayoshi had tied them together with a curse or not, he had known he wanted to know Cricket better in that exact moment. And in all the moments that came after, he had not been disappointed.
It had been over a year—a year and six days, his mind unhelpfully supplied—since he had left Lunette under the prince's orders. And every day since then he had replayed their fight over and over, trying to think of a way that it could have ended differently. These thoughts made it hard to sleep, to train, to meditate, to think of little else. Yet, Takayoshi could find no way around them, and no solution to the question of how it all could have been otherwise.
"I don't care if he did abdicate the throne when he was ten. He spent six months running around Lunette like some common lordling, playing white knight, and then came home to sulk! For a year! An entire year and a half wasted, Atsuko!"
Ah, Uncle was awake. Takayoshi marked his page in the book in front of him, closing it carefully. His eyes flitted to the fluttering flakes outside the big bay window of his rooms with a sigh.
"He's nearly twenty-four, we've given him enough time. He will meet with the matchmakers, so help me." Uncle stormed into the room without so much as a knock, Atsuko hot on his heels.
Takayoshi turned to raise a brow at them both. Atsuko, for all that she did not have a hair out of place, looked flustered, and Uncle looked harried.
"Sorry," Atsuko whispered, shooting him an apologetic smile.
Takayoshi nodded. Atsuko could not have stopped Uncle, no matter how she tried. Takayoshi did not hold this disturbance against her.
"Good morning, Uncle."
"It is time that you got married," Uncle said without preamble. "Your duty to your people is to get married, and it's well past time that you did it."
"I am not king; I do not see why that would be necessary." Takayoshi ignored how his body twitched to rise and put some distance between himself and Uncle. Running away from the conversation seemed preferable to sitting and listening, but that would be rude and cowardly, of which he was neither.
"Uncle, Shishi is right, he doesn't have to get married if he doesn't want. We've already started the process of finding me a match, we don't need—"
"He will be married before his twenty-fifth name day," Uncle cut off Atsuko, an act that Uncle would have glowered at had anyone else done it. One did not cut off the queen of Helio.
"You can tell the matchmakers," Takayoshi said, tone measured. Atsuko's eyes lit up, an almost manic grin taking over her features. She knew what he was going to say. How could she not? Takayoshi had always been perfectly transparent to his sister. "That I have met someone."
Uncle stopped mid-pace, his jaw falling slack. "What?"
"Oh really?" Atsuko asked, delight layering her words.
Takayoshi nodded.
"Is that why you've been up here sulking? Did they—" Uncle still sounded irritated, but much of the ire had dripped out of him like water through a sieve. "Did they reject you?"
"Who is it? What's their name?" Atsuko brushed past Uncle, and moved to take Takayoshi's hands in her own, giving them a squeeze. "Tell me all about them."
"If you've found someone, why aren't you out there courting them?" Uncle asked, crossing his arms over his chest.
"Shhh. Let Shishi tell it, Uncle." Atsuko waved him off, her gaze returning to her brother. "Well?"
"Cricket." Takayoshi knew the weight of the name. It was not ideal to say this much in front of Uncle. He would have preferred to just tell his sister, and let her handle Uncle and his nonsense. But it seemed it could not be helped. Takayoshi had been holding this in for months now, and he wanted to tell his sister, his only real friend. Perhaps he should have felt guilty that he had kept this from her for so long. He did not. Cricket had been his secret, to hoard away, and ponder over, hoping some solution would arise. Atsuko would merely insist that he return to Lunette and court the prince properly. That could not happen. Atsuko would forgive him taking this long, he was sure.
"Did he just say Cricket?" Uncle asked, taking a step back as if the name were a physical blow. "As in Prince Cricket?"
"Yes." Takayoshi nodded. "Prince Cricket of Lunette."
Uncle stumbled back another step, and then sat on the bench at the end of Takayoshi's bed, holding his chest. "So you won't be the king of Helio, but you're more than willing to—"
"I did not say I was going to marry Cricket."
"Shishi?" Atsuko's smile had slipped, the expression no longer reaching her eyes, and in its place was pain.
"What do you mean you didn't say you were going to marry him?" Uncle's eyes narrowed on him.
"I mean that I am still very much cursed, and I will not subject him to the dangers that entails." Takayoshi lifted his chin, meeting Uncle's eyes. "It would not be right for me to do so."
"Ridiculous. This is ridiculous!" Uncle rose from the bench and stormed out of the room, slamming the door behind him in his fury. Takayoshi resisted the urge to roll his eyes at Uncle's dramatics.
"Is he... Shishi, did you see..."
"Yes. He is." Takayoshi pinched the bridge of his nose, letting out a breath. Leave it to Atsuko to dive directly to the heart of the matter. "His eyes are blue, Koko."
"Then he's your soulmate," Atsuko breathed, her eyes lighting up again. "Oh, I'm so happy for you! That's wonderful!" She leaned in to hug him tightly.
"I intend to sever the connection," Takayoshi whispered into her hair.
Atsuko gasped, pulling back so she could meet Takayoshi's gaze. They had the same eyes, amber melted with sunshine and gold, or that is what he had been told they resembled. To him they were merely gray, as was much of the rest of the world. Only Atsuko's had always seemed warmer, somehow, to Takayoshi. Likely because she smiled more.
"You're going to sever it?" she asked, sadness clouding over her gaze.
"I do not see where I have much choice. He has already been affected by my curse. I cannot..." Takayoshi swallowed, ignoring the way it felt tight going down. "I cannot subject him to what Mother and Father suffered through. Not when I am the one who bound him to me in the first place."
"Have you spoken to him? Asked what he wants?"
"It would not matter."
"Why not? Maybe he feels the same way about you." Atsuko frowned, her fingers tightening on his shoulders, leaving wrinkles behind on his tunic.
"And how am I to know that that is not part of the curse I cast? No. I will sever the connection." Takayoshi took his sister's hands in his own, giving them an affectionate squeeze, willing her to understand.
"Shishi... what if he loves you back? Wouldn't it be better to—"
"He does not. It would not." Takayoshi shook his head, dropping his sister's hands. "I need written permission to browse the restricted section of the library. Uncle's appointed librarians are very strict about this, and I have searched all the other books available to me."
Atsuko shifted back, her hands falling to her sides. She looked like she wanted to argue, her face pinched in determination, but she nodded instead. "All right."
"Thank—"
"Don't. Thank me," Atsuko held up a hand, her lips twitching into a frown. "Please, just think this over before you do anything rash. Perhaps there is another way to save him."
Takayoshi nodded, even as he knew that he would not. He would not find another way to save Cricket, and he would do whatever possible to save Cricket from the curse. It would be better if he severed the connection entirely, he knew that. Then Cricket could be free.
"I just want you to be happy, Shishi. If the prince makes you happy, then you should be with him." She grasped his hands again, her eyes pleading. "Just let yourself be selfish for once."
"I will take it into consideration."
"That's all that I ask."
The library was silent but for the soft turning of pages, and footsteps amongst the stacks. This was the kind of subtle white noise that Takayoshi had once preferred, although it felt strangely hollow these days. The people in the palace gave each other and himself space, but he had grown used to the constant chatter, and casual closeness of Cricket and Ignacia.
One would think that a couple of months in the company of such noise would be nothing in comparison to a lifetime of quiet. That there would be no way for it to change how he saw the world. One would be wrong. He found the quiet that surrounded him stifling these days. Only made worse by the hush of snowfall that prevented him from training out of doors.
"I heard the prince has horns, like some kind of demon," someone whispered amongst the shelves. Their voice pitched low, likely thinking they had found a private place to spread whatever trivial drivel they were talking about.
"No. I heard he's got scales," their friend said with a little laugh. "Like a fish, or a snake, or something."
"You don't really think they'll let him be king like that, do you?"
"Who knows with the way Lunette's going. I mean... the duke has been exiled, there isn't anyone else."
Takayoshi grit his teeth so hard he felt his jaw creak with the pressure. How dare they spread rumors about Cricket. How dare they speak of him as if they knew—
"Hey. You two. This is a library. Shut up, or get out," another voice commanded, silencing the first two.
"Sorry, Lady Dresden," they said as one. Takayoshi heard the rustling of clothing as they bowed their apologies, and gathered up his own books.
"Don't be sorry, be silent," Anstice said.
Takayoshi made a hasty retreat to the depths of the library with his research materials. He had managed to avoid Anstice thus far, likely because she was avoiding him in turn, and was in no hurry to confront her. Maybe he was a coward after all.
His withdrawal brought him within hearing range of another conversation, though this one thankfully seemed to have nothing at all to do with Cricket.
"The history books are full of people who earned power by violence, and then had to use violence to keep it. It's just not sustainable," a young woman said.
"Claudia!" another voice chastised, but the voice sounded strangely tinny, like it was coming through a can. "Are you thinking of seizing the throne?"
"What? No. That's not— Don't tease Honoria." Claudia grumbled. "My point is—"
"Yes. Yes. Violence begets violence. And the only true way to progress as a society is to learn from our prior mistakes through the study of history," Honoria said, sounding as if she had perhaps heard this a hundred times over. Takayoshi, in spite of himself, found his feet heading in the direction of the two voices. Eavesdropping was unseemly, but he could not seem to help it. "But why couldn't you have stayed here to study history? Why did you have to go all the way to Helio?"
Claudia huffed, her chair creaking as she shifted her weight around. "Because the history books here are only rivaled by—" she stopped, her eyes catching on Takayoshi where he had just come around the corner of a shelf. "My apologies, Your Highness, was I disturbing you?"
"The library is for studying, not for personal communications," Takayoshi recited one of Uncle's house rules automatically.
"Yes, of course. I'm sorry. I'll talk to you later Honoria, I've got to get back to my books." Claudia waved one dark hand over the mirror tilted against a stack of texts, before returning to the pages in front of her.
"May I join you?" Takayoshi's eyes flicked to the vacant chair at her table.
Claudia blinked up at him for a moment, eyes wide, and then she laughed—a soft, nervous thing, wholly unlike Cricket's full bellied chortles—before gesturing to the seat across from her. "It's your library."
"It is the people of Helio's library," he said, but took the offered seat anyway.
Claudia's lips twitched, her brows rising. "You're funny. Has anyone ever told you that before?"
"Yes." And that was all Takayoshi would say on the matter as he tidied his collection of books, and opened the one he had been reading to his marked page once more.
Claudia seemed to take that for what it was, and they fell into silence, only broken by the scratch of a pen or pencil on paper as they took notes.
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