CW: Explicit language, mentions of r*pe, mentions of violence.

When Jun finally makes his way over to the guest house, it's already the late afternoon. The sun is wan and small above the horizon, Solaris' strength draining with the encroaching autumn. The little lord's anger still simmers in his veins, leaving him feeling thin skinned and heated.

He knew he would have to fight hard for his request, but he was utterly foolish in his thinking that his father could be reasoned with. Lord Hwan Sun has his admirable qualities, so many in fact that Jun sees his father as an omnipotent, immortal figure to aspire to. Despite the brilliance of his character, Sun is also as obstinate as a mountain made of iron. Aside from the Mother, whose word is law, the Governor must have things done in his own way. The world and its people are his to shape and control, including his own children.

It's during these moments, in the shivering aftermath of Sun's blistering furies, that Jun understands why his brothers left the estate. Of course, Bora didn't have much of an option, but the fourth lord still cut ties with those he left behind. Even his own younger brother, who he'd promised he would never leave.

The expression on Jun's face is bitter and cold when he enters Rin's room, and his complexion is terribly pale. Rin's own visage is just as cool, impassivity spread from ear to ear, with eyelids drooping over a lightless gaze. The Rat's sitting in the window sill, one leg slung over the edge and swinging in the empty air. He doesn't seem to mind the chill. The thin white robes flutter gently in the late summer breeze, midnight hair dancing in tandem.

He casts a long look at the noble who comes to sit by the bed in his usual spot, not a few steps away. A smile hangs tentatively on Jun's lips, lacking its usual brilliance.

"Be careful, Rinnie. You could fall," he warns, his voice deceptively sunny. "I apologise for not coming to visit earlier. Teacher Hak had me stay behind for a test. How is your wound? Did Healer Wu take out your stitches?"

The raven stares at him with that strange, empty expression before glancing back out the window. "Hm. Not yet," he says liltingly. "Maybe tomorrow."

"Ah...yes. Good, good." Jun falls into a bewildered silence. Sweat prickles his back. There's something off about Rin today. Though he appears to be in a good mood, there's a coldness in his eyes that stabs at the little lord's heart. "Rinnie..." he hesitates, licking his dry lips. "Are you alright? Did something happen?"

"Hm. Did it? I wonder." Rin continues to swing his leg, staring sightlessly over the estate grounds. The weak orange light of sunset casts a gentle halo around his form, making him appear ethereal. With one strong breeze, this boy could disappear. "Little lord. What do you want from me?"

Jun stares blankly at Rin's back before frowning deeply. "What do you mean? I don't want anything from you. Simply for you to recover well."

"Your heart is so pure," Rin hums, a mocking edge to his tone. "I wonder, how a person so pure of heart sees us Slummers."

Heart skipping a beat, Jun rises from his chair, but he doesn't approach Rin. For whatever reason, he doesn't dare. "I am not pure, Rinnie. I have done...terrible things in my life I can never erase." He tugs at his collar, suddenly feeling stifled. "I see you as people whom we have overlooked and cast aside. I plan on changing things when I become Governor, Rinnie. I will make sure that the Slummers will have proper housing and schooling, as well as better access to Healers and--"

"We don't need your help." The raven's tone is suddenly frigid and brittle. His leg stops swinging. "We've survived this long without you and we will continue to do so until the day we die." He turns to glance coolly at the lord, face cast in shadows. "You say such pretty words but we both know how you really feel, little lord."

The noble furrows his brows. "What are you talking about, Rinnie?"

A lazy smile lifts the corner of Rin's lips as he slides from the window sill. Bare feet touch the ground and he rises to his feet, lithe body moving like water. His robes catch on a sudden gust of wind and the fabric pulls tight, revealing the drunken lines of his frame. From the gentle curve of his waist to the pair of long and slender legs that are deceptively strong, the raven's visage is both chilling and tantalising. Complex emotions that he's not completely aware of tumble around Jun's chest. He's utterly helpless before this deadly spectre.

"If you're too scared to be honest to yourself, then allow me, little lord." He glides towards Jun as he speaks, his voice clear and derisive. "The truth is that you don't even see us Slummers as humans. You and every lord, lady, and blue-blood out there. If we're not scum draining your coffers dry, then we're mindless beasts, working your fields or fighting your wars. Oh, I knew from the very moment you flashed that purse around. Do you know how nauseating it is? Your hypocrisies and empty promises. Every single time, I feel like spitting my guts up."

Rin's a mere foot away from the little lord now, the latter's cheeks drained of all colour. A deep grimace settles in Jun's pallid face, his goldens dark and conflicted. Anger, embarrassment, confusion, indignation, worry, they attack the lord, one after the other until they bleed together, leaving a blurred impression of himself.

The Rat smirks and smacks his palm against the lord's chest. Though the blow isn't hard, it sends Jun stumbling back a step. "I know that's all I am to you, little lord. A stray animal that you saved from the streets." Rin huffs with dry amusement, one brow raised over his cold and mocking expression. "I'm not your redemption, little lord. I'm not going to be the next stray you have killed. I almost died once because of you. I'm not doing it again."

Realisation hits Jun like a lightning strike. He grabs Rin by the arm and tugs him close. "No, Rinnie. My father, he...you don't understand. My father has his prejudices, yes, but he...he only means well. I made a terrible mistake that...that cost a man his life, but that is not a mistake that I will make again."

The raven rips his arm free, lips curled in an ugly sneer. "He means well? Are you delusional?"

"There are systemic issues that my father does not prioritise, but that is something I will change--"

Rin slams his hands into the lord's chest again, shoving him back with uncanny strength. Panting, his wry mirth gives way to bubbling anger. He scowls at the little lord, his glare blistering and caustic. "You just don't listen, do you? We don't need saving, Jun. I don't need saving. Do you know what kind of person can live in the Slums? Do you think just anyone can survive in that shithole? Every day is a fight for survival. If you're not starving, then you're being beaten. If you're not being beaten, then you're being raped. If you're not being raped, then you're being killed. You couldn't even last a single day without running into Tiger and his goons. How are you supposed to save anyone?"

The last statement seems to finally stir the lord's ire. "I resent that," he says, lowly. "What am I supposed to do then, Rinnie? Am I supposed to sit back and let my people starve, be beaten, and raped? Think I can simply let you die without a single care? I am not my father, Rinnie. I am not his prejudices nor his government. I cannot be idle when people are suffering. Even if nothing I do makes a difference, I must at least try."

"I don't care about how you feel. So you're trying? So what? That means shit to me if nothing changes. Gods, I let myself stupidly believe that you were different from all the other fuckers from the High District. But you know, even if you don't have your father's prejudices, you still have his blood. You won’t ever be able to see past the silver spoon sticking out of your mouth, no matter how hard you try to convince yourself otherwise."

"No, you are wrong." Jun heaves, his tightly clenched fists shaking violently. "I know you, Rinnie. I know that you are a person. A human being with your own thoughts and feelings. Never have I intended to make you think otherwise. If I did...if I did, then I must apologise--"

"Then why didn't you say this to your father?" Rin retorts, completely unmoved by the lord's apology. "If you do know me, why did you tell your father that you didn't?"

The little lord falters. His eyes flinch wide before narrowing into burning slits. His jaw locks. His teeth clench. All anger, all energy, drains from his body like water down a sink. What remains is a hollow shell, without a single shred of will to be seen. For all his promises and valiant words, Jun knows that he is a hypocrite. He is a hypocrite who doesn't have the strength to save his friend, let alone an entire city.

"...because I am a coward." Jun's voice is barely above a murmur. His face is impassive as he bows his head, soft brown hair falling into his dimming eyes.

Rin hesitates when he sees the other boy's lackluster demeanour, his heart clenching. He frowns and steels himself against traitorous emotions. "Yeah, you are a coward," he scoffs, folding his arms tightly across his chest. "How the hell are you going to change anything if you can't even fight your old man? It's godsdamned pathetic."

The little lord casts a dark look at the Rat, his expression heavy and severe. An oppressive gloom hangs over Jun like thick smoke, choking all the life and light from his visage. "I am pathetic," he agrees, monotonously. "I...understand if you never trust me again, Rinnie. But know that I...I do care for you. Rather deeply, in fact. And I will never forget that I owe you my life." He intakes sharply, rubbing the back of his neck as he slumps his shoulders brokenly. "I know you. I know that you are more courageous than anyone I'd ever met. I know that you are kind and selfless. That you have an innate strength that is...stunning. And I know that you hide behind your anger because you fear showing me too much of yourself." A warm smile tentatively touches his lips. "But Rinnie, as much as I know you now, I wish to know even more. I want to see every part of you until there is no-one in the world who knows you better than I."

The raven trembles under the barrage of tender words, eyes like pools of ink, glistening with boundless emotion. He clutches at his chest, trying to contain the furious thuds of his aching heart. A feeling that has no label, no words, expands in his body, from throat to chest to belly. Agonising, devastating, and wonderful.

Rin steps back unsteadily until his heel meets the wall. A passing wind dries the sweat upon his burning nape and sends his robes aflutter. His mind is blank. The gears long popped. The wheels creaked to a stop. And from the deep dark beyond, there's the encroaching panic, eating away at his periphery. "I..." The syllable is an airless squeak. He coughs in surprise. Tries again. "I don't want that. I don't want any of that." His voice is tremulous. His body betrays him. "Like you said. I can't...trust you. Nothing you say means anything right now. S-so...you should stop. Before you embarrass yourself further."

"...but of course." Shadows replace that brief spark of light, dousing the life in Jun's eyes. His smile fades, leaving behind an empty space that punctures a hole in the Rat's heart. "I will not disturb you any longer. You should rest." He dips his head politely as if Rin were but a mere stranger, and he turns and walks out of the room, steps unsteady.

Rin watches him leave with his heart in his throat. Head spinning, he drops heavily into Jun's chair, burying his face into his hands. Tears prick at his eyes and soak into his lashes, but he doesn't shed a single one.

After a time, he straightens up, face pale and apathetic. There is no point feeling sympathy for someone like Jun. Someone who'd spent his entire life behind these castle walls like a pampered little prince. No matter how many sweet words and promises he utters, the little lord is just that - a little lord. A pretty, coddled princeling who will never see him as an equal. He will always look down on Rin, even if he doesn't intend to, and the raven can't bear it. To endure would send him mad, and his sanity is already in a questionable state.

No, he must end this fantasy. The Slum calls and the Rat must return.

***

From his bedroom window, Jun watches the Rat skitter into the night, scrambling over the wall with a makeshift bag of stolen goods slung over his shoulder. The little lord is void of emotion, save for a single sliver of sorrow, lurking in the depths of his gaze. One hand is slipped into his pocket as he rubs his thumb against a gold coin.

The other hand rises unconsciously to press against his lips. There's the fleeting memory of a tender kiss, now bittersweet.