After he told me the whole story I couldn’t stop crying. I couldn't stop thinking about my mum. About how worried she must’ve been, and how I wished I’d replied to her text. I didn’t want to let Lance go after everything, so we lay together in the cold grass. How was I supposed to tell him that everything he did was for nothing?
The letter:
I know that what I’m doing isn’t fair, son. But I want you to know that I love you so much. And I always will. I Told you this letter would have the account numbers, but I lied. You wouldn’t have let me leave if you knew what was really in this envelope.
If you are reading this, I’m already dead.
I needed to do this, for the sake of your safety. But I want you to know it’s not your fault. I’m a grown man, and I made my decision myself. If I die, then our debt will finally be paid, and you can use the money you’ve made for yourself. You’re a smart boy, you can go to college. Okay? I’ll be with your mother now. I love you Lance.
Love, Dad.That morning I was able to see where we were. There was a snow capped mountain range in the distance. And wild green hills surrounding us. My eyes followed a river until I could see smoke. It was an old japanese styled cottage with a chimney.
“You need to go to the hospital.” Lance mumbled. “Your back pain’s too severe, and I don’t have any more meds.”
He was right, it was getting bad. He pulled his backpack over. “Here, now leave before it becomes too hard to walk.”
“Why’re you giving me this?”
“Just go.”
I blacked out from the pain in front of the cottage. The last thing I remember was telling them my name as my eyes closed. Then the old couple that saved me weren’t there when I woke up in the hospital. Maybe it had all been a dream. The plane, Lance, and everything I learned about his past. Was it real? My heart thumped inside my chest. I remembered hearing Lance’s heartbeat as I hugged him. Could someone so full of life be my imagination? His heart was so weak, too small, too faint. But so alive.
“Just go.”
Those words echoed in my head. I replayed his expression a million times. All of it felt wrong. The way he smiled like we were strangers. The way he sent me away with no more words. Something was leaving a hole in my stomach. Churning it. Putting a lump in my throat, a sinking feeling like when I leapt from the plane. It was like the moment when you reach the top of a roller coaster, and you know you’re about to freefall. But you have no control over it.
Lance:
I’m sorry dad.
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