James woke before the sun, grateful that his friend and roommate was still asleep. Wanting to avoid discussing last night for as long as possible, James crept past the sleeping for of his current confusion. As quietly as possible he collected his clothes, shoes and phone, and tiptoed out of the bedroom, being careful to close the door quietly behind him.
James chose to slip out the back door, as to not wake his parents, and let his legs carry him. There was no need to focus on his movements; his body knew the way to Jed's house.
As he walked, James' mind seemed to be playing last night on a loop. Things seemed to snowball so quickly. James knew that he shouldn't have made the suggestion, but he was so sure that Ben would have shut him down. So why did Ben agree? Was Ben trying to call his bluff?
Arriving at Jed's house, James pulled out his phone.
“Let me in.” James deadpanned the second Jed answered, receiving a grunt in reply.
While waiting for Jed to open the front door, James shot Haruki a text to tell him that he would be “studying” at Jed's for the day.
After a moment Jed pulled the door open. Without acknowledging James, he simply turned and walked back into the house. James followed wordlessly, closing the door behind himself.
James bee lined to Jed's bedroom, while Jed made for the bathroom. Without hesitation, James kicked off his shoes and pants, and climbed into Jed's bed. As he closed his eyes and settled in he heard Jed enter the room. With a sigh Jed climbed in next to James. The second Jed's back hit the mattress James wrapped his arms around the other boy and pulled Jed back against his chest, spooning him. It didn't take long for James to fall asleep, feeling safe and warm in his best friend's bed.
A few hours later both young men were woken abruptly to Jed's mother, Angela, knocking loudly on the door. Before either had a chance to respond she opened the door and walked in, a pile of folded laundry tucked under one arm.
“Good morning boys.” she mumbled as she placed the pile of laundry on Jed's dresser, clearly not fazed by the addition in her son's head.
“I'm off to work. Be good. Love you both.” she called out as she made her way back to the doorway.
“Bye, Ma” Jed mumbled, snuggling back against James' chest.
“Love you, too, Mama A.” James replied.
Emilia, Haruki and Angela hadn't been thrilled when James and Jed first began their random early morning break ins, but that didn't deter the boys, and their parents gave in surprisingly quickly.
The two lay quietly for a few minutes, aware that the other was awake, but not yet ready to start their day. Eventually Jed broke the silence.
“What's up, Bub?” Jed asked, rolling over to face his friend.
“Nothing.” James replied, not quite able to make eye contact with the other.
“You know you can't lie to me, Jamie.” Jed reminded as he attempted to send James a stern look. He didn't quite manage it.
“... You know the deal. Squeal and die!” James warned, pointing a finger at Jed's face. Jed nodded and waited patiently for James to start speaking.
“Ok, so... you know how I'm stupid?”
“Firsthand.” Jed replied with a hint of a cheeky grin.
“I kissed someone last night. Well, they kissed me. We were playing about and I guess we just took it too far.”
“Sounds like you.” Jed mumbled, receiving an unimpressed frown from James. “So what's the problem?”
James' mind started playing the previous evening again, causing a blush to creep onto his cheeks.
“They really liked it.” He answered.
“... Did you like it?” Jed asked
“I think I did.” James responded, taking his eyes from Jed's face and trying not to give too much away. Jed had always been able to read James like a book.
“I'm still not seeing the problem” Jed responded. “Ask her out.”
If Jed knew that James had kissed a guy, and liked it, no less, would he still want to be James' friend? Would they still be able to have sleepovers and cuddle the way they did now, or would Jed think it disgusting?
It was too risky. James couldn't tell him everything. Besides, he wasn't gay. There was nothing to tell.
“It's not that simple.” James responded, almost at a whisper. “I can't be with h-her” James corrected himself just in time. That was close. He took a deep breath, willing logic to win over emotion. “We're just not suited. It wouldn't end well.” The tone with which James spoke told Jed that the conversation was over, and Jed knew when not to push.
*****
Sitting on the couch in his new, shared bedroom, Ben stared at his English textbook, looking at the words, but absorbing absolutely nothing. It was late in the afternoon at this point, and he'd spent his day in solitude, save for the almost hourly check ins from Haruki and Emilia.
As Ben re-read the same line for the third time his phone began to ring. He had no intention to answer it until he glanced at the screen.
“Hi Mum!”
“Hello, Darling! How are you?”
“I'm good. How are you and Dad?”
“We're getting there. Moving is never fun but your Dad's boss got us a fantastic place. I can't wait for you to see it when you visit. How are you settling in?”
“Pretty well. The Wintons- Emilia and Haruki are wonderful.”
“And how are you getting on with James?”
Ben paused. How should he answer to avoid too much probing?
“Good. He's alright.”
“Oh, I'm so glad! How's school? Emilia tells me you've been studying all day. I'm glad you're still focused.”
“Gotta keep on top of my grades. Last year and all.”
“That's right. Are you taking all the business courses we discussed?”
“Yes, Mum. I'm all set up.”
“Good! You're Dad couldn't chat but he asked me to say hello and ask you if you've found us a daughter-in-law yet?”
“Study first. I'll have time in University to mingle.”
“That's absolutely true! Just don't keep us waiting too long! You know we're on a time limit!”
“I know, Mum.”
“I have to go now darling, Your father and I are going out this evening and I want to look my best. I love you. Bye”
“Love you. Bye”
Ben was quite surprised by how little he missed his parents. He missed them, of course, but things were actually pretty comfortable here, and it had really eased his transition. He hoped that last night didn't change that.
Ben played about on his phone for an hour or so, too distracted to study. What did last night mean? Yes, James was a guy, but did that automatically mean that he was gay? No. He wasn't gay. He was going to go and study business, find a lovely woman, settle down and have a family. That's what his parents dreamed for him. That's what he wanted.
When James walked into their room that evening Ben still felt embarrassed about what had happened, but he had steeled his nerves for the discussion he knew they had to have.
“Hey. Got a sec?” Ben asked, trying to sound confident. James stopped dead in his tracks, and after a second started to make his way to the couch. As he sat, Ben had to steel his nerves again. Talking about feelings was not something he was accustomed to.
“Last night.” Ben started. “Let's be honest, it was embarrassing. I'm sure for both of us.” He took a slow breath, trying to maintain his calm. “I'm not gay. It was just a physical reaction. Lets just forget about it, yeah?”
James looked confused, then unsure, and then... Ben couldn't quite pinpoint it.
“Ok, yep. Sounds good.” He mumbled, standing up and walking back towards his bed.
“I understand if you'd rather keep your distance, but I'd like it if we didn't let it affect our friendship.” Ben finished, a blush creeping onto his cheeks and his eyes dropping to the floor.
“Of course.” James assured him.
The two sat in an awkward silence for a minute before James suddenly spoke up.
“Wanna watch a show or something?” He asked. Ben was grateful. He wasn't sure how much longer he could have sat in that silence.
“Sure. You pick.”
The two spent the rest of the night watching some obscure comedy show, letting the tension slowly evaporate, until they fell back into their old pattern of being each other's pillows and falling asleep on the couch.
The awkwardness of that weekend soon melted away, and the two grew even closer. Over the next few weeks they fell into a pretty predictable pattern of school, family night and hanging out. Ben wasn't sure why, but he never got sick of spending time with James, and James seemed to feel the same. It didn't take long until the two were practically inseparable.
James had introduced Ben to his friend Jed, who seemed nice. They would all hang out sometimes, or study together, but Ben couldn't help but notice Jed giving him strange looks. It was starting to worry him. Did Jed not like Ben? Did Jed think he was trying to steal James or something? Jed never acted rude or aggressive towards him, but there was something in that look, something Ben couldn't quite put his finger on.
Then, one Friday morning as they arrived at school, James threw a curve ball.
“Meet me here after school. I have a surprise.”
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