Neel:

The sunlight getting through the narrow space between my drapes, made me wake up and I looked at my mobile, it 7am and I have to get ready. It’s has been three days since I came back to give him his final peace. And now I am looking over the business that was left. And I am a little shocked with the status of our business. I knew the things at home were not going well, but it got degraded to this level, I didn’t know that. My father used to run business of books. All types of books like notebooks, textbooks, and stuff. By the time I left for my college, we had three shops and papa was also started to sell novels too. But now as I look, we have only one store left, that too with very minimum supplies.

When I was in my flat, my mom used to talk about all stuff but never the business. Whenever I used to ask here, either she used to firmly drop the subject and cut the call or starts a new topic as since I never asked her anything. Papa was no different; he said only one thing,

“Complete your graduation, by then if you want to be my helping hand I will gladly have you on board.”

It was his way of implying the same thing as mom.

By the time I freshen up and came down, mom had already put the breakfast down on the table. A cup of tea and warm poah; and on the other side she was doing dishes. When I was about to sit, she turned to me and asked,

“Should I go to shop or will you?”

“I will.”

“Hmm…”

“Mom, I have to ask you something…”

“Shoot”

Well, this is different. I know my mom is straightforward, but not bitter. And I can already sense the tone of bitterness in her voice. Like she already knew what I am about to ask her.

“I looked at the status of our business and we are really not good. What happened to our other two shops?”

“I have to sell it to cover up some loans…”

Ok, now her voice is even dryer now. With the rattling of dishes being placed in the holder, the noise of my spoon touching the plate and putting the cup of tea back on the table were the only sound that was audible in the kitchen.

“Why did you have to take loan for?”

Now she became annoyed. She put the dish she was cleaning with the cloth on holder and threw the cloth on the floor.

“So you think I have taken the loan?” now her voice was raising and her eyes showed anger.

“Ok, mom relax, I will reframe my question then. For what purpose did papa take loan for?”

“Why don’t you ask him?” her voice rose even more.

“Mom, it looks like you are irritated about something else and you are taking your anger on me. Which let me tell you, I am not in the mood of being on the receiving end of it, so I am leaving right now and we will have this conversation again when your are calm.” I said in a raised voice too.

I stood up, took my jacket and strode towards the door. Before opening it, I turn my face to see her. She was standing, taking support of the kitchen counter, her head down. The site was sad to look at, to look at my mother like that but even that didn’t let my tone get milder than it was.

“And don’t expect that we won’t be having this conversation again. I have to know the whole truth so as to make things work out. And only you as per my knowledge know everything. So you better be ready.”

I hurried to get out of the house, started striding as fast as I can. I did my shoe right which I didn’t wore it correctly when I was in hurry getting out of the house. Sometimes I feel like my own house is a cage. A cage with restrictions; in a cage you don’t have the option to go out. You are bound to be in it forever. But I am not bound to be in my house but I still have to be in the house. And my mother being like this makes it even more unbearable.

…

I came to the shop and it was already open. Bhim Uncle was already in, doing the puja and lightening the incense sticks. Its smell is of Lily which is kinda soothing and I sank in the chair behind the counter. When uncle was done and he saw me sitting, he initiated the conversation,

“You didn’t have to come beta(son), I would have taken care of the shop.”

“You were already doing it alone for a long time uncle. And it doesn’t look good when I am here and still you have to handle the shop all alone.”

“It isn’t a big deal, see you know it’s a little low time for book sale business so it isn’t a big deal. I can handle it alone.”

“Yeah, I don’t doubt that but I insist.” I said with a smile.

“Well then, I can’t argue anymore since you have made up your mind.” He smiled and then vanished in an aisle. Bhim uncle and papa had been friends ever since I think I started to store memories. Even though he was like a partner in the business, but he still worked here. His head a bald from above, thin layer of hair on the side and back of the head, his moustache and beard perfectly trimmed and properly set. Mom used to tell papa to be as clean and proper like uncle, to which papa used to pout and laugh.

Now I started to look at what the shop have in stores. And we have all types of books but on less quantity. But since it is a low business time, we can still delay a little to re-order. But still for confirmation I asked for uncle’s suggestion.

“Uncle should we place orders for plain and ruled notebooks? And what about textbooks for classes 11^th and 10^th? They are in less quantity too.”

He came from the aisle, looked into the computer and turned to me.

“I don’t think there is any need for placing orders now. Textbooks, definitely not; who’s going to buy textbook at the end of the year. Some cases of lost or dropped, we have enough to cover those. And the rest as you were saying for notebooks, I think we can still wait.”

“Yeah I was thinking the same, but I just thought to just have a confirmation from you.”

“Yeah that’s good. But if you want, you can place order for Novels. The last to last time when we bought novels, they sold good. But as compare to the last time, the stock didn’t sold well. Me and your father came to the conclusion that novel sales is a good way of pumping money but we don’t know which type of novels to be bought and sold.”

He opened the other excel sheet where information of novels were store.

“So now since you are an adult by yourself and you know the taste of your peers and what trend is going on in novels and stuff. You can place order on your own.”

When I scroll down, I saw many good novels were their but of course people here wouldn’t know about it unless they are into novels. And when I opened the one before the last stock purchase, there were the novels which were in trend at that time.

“Ok, so I will look into it. How much money do we have in shop that we can make a purchase of?”

“For novels, we can use around 30,000 rupees. We do have around 70, but you know let’s not spend more on novels for now.”

“Yeah I understand that. Ok, so I will prepare a list of novels we will place order of, and once when I am final with it, you can take a look into it before placing the order.”

“Yeah, that would be good.”

By the end of the discussion, a little girl came and asked,

“Do you have a pencil?”

Oh god, her voice was so charming I instantly smiled.

“Yes we do. Which one do you want?”

And I knew I will have at least a normal day, or at least normal time till evening.

…

The sales were quite low as suspected. By the time night was upon, when I was just thinking of closing the shop. I knew we keep open at least till 9pm, but I don’t know why I just wanted to rest. Go to home, don’t face mom, just go and dead drop on bed. And I think even uncle was having the same thought. He too suggested closing the shop. And when we did, we parted our way. When I looked up in the sky, it wasn’t as beautiful as yesterday. But it was still a site to see. I continued my walk, and looked at my phone. Still no message from her, it’s not like her I know. But I don’t know why, I am not surprised. Maybe because I know she is angry.

By the time I reached home, I saw two sticky notes on the door which read as follows,

“There are more of these on the fridge, read them all and do all of them.”

“There are more of these on the fridge, read them all and do all of them. This again just for backup”

When I closed the door of the house and went to kitchen, there were notes which read as follows,

“I am sorry for the way I behaved today’s morning.”

“I am going to your masi’s(sister’s) house again, won’t be back till tomorrow morning.”

“Your school friend Deepak came and he invited you for his birthday party which is today.”

Wait, Deepak is still here?

“He really insisted so I couldn’t say no to him. And it would be good if you go out and don’t be dead on bed.”

“Well it’s still up to you but I think you should go. It’s good to have change.”

“And we do need change. Party starts at 10. And the address is …”

I took all the notes except the one with the address, made a paper ball of it and throw it in the dustbin. I think I need a change.