#38

How long has it been? I don't know. I couldn't keep track of time in this total darkness, completely isolated from outside, with no sound coming in, which probably meant no sound was going out either – nobody would hear me even if I could scream, but the jaw strap I had meant I couldn't do that anyway, and the most sound I could make was a muffled wimping of a helpless dog.

In any case, it has surely been a few months at least. I wonder if spring was near. I knew it was about the time, but I couldn't tell how long was left until then. Did the time pass faster than I realized? Or did it pass slower than I thought?

I was kept alive on drips and an oxygen mask. The minimum needed to survive in this room for months. In an ironic way, I stayed alive as requested by Rika, but this was not how it was planned at all. My plan was that either I do not get caught, or I do get caught by the police and stay in jail, with the trial certain to drag on well past the spring. I don't know if that was an acceptable condition or not, but hey, Rika was like a superhuman. I thought if I could keep my bargain of staying alive and not getting killed by any vengeful men related to all these girls I've killed, Rika will figure out a way to make things work.

But life and destiny didn't seem to take such a clear cut simple course. And here I was, tied down to a bed for months, barely kept alive just to act as a 'bait' for Rika, by some mad man who somehow seemed to know more about the workings of Rika and me than I could figure out how he knew.

Then it happened one day. Out of fucking blue, or more correctly, out of fucking black as it was. I heard the metal door open as it did every now and then. It became less and less frequent that the man came into the room lately, after all, there wasn't much more for us to talk about. I can't exactly say that I welcomed the return of this man, as it probably meant some more irrational rambling and torture, but it did bring in the breath of fresh air into the room, literally.

What was different this time though, was the sound of footsteps. I knew the rhythm in which this man walked, the specific weight that forced itself onto the ground with each step, this all meant that after a long time, you can recognize the sound of someone's footsteps.

These footsteps felt much lighter and more… careful?

Then I saw a light flash – fuck. How long has it been since I last saw any light? The light searched around, probably a flashlight, but although it was the first time I should have been able to get any visual image of the room, the way my eyes was not accustomed to even the faintest source of light for the past months meant that it felt blindingly bright, to the point that I had to squeeze my eyes shut.

"What. The. Fuck.?"

Rika! This was the voice of Rika!

I opened my eyes, and at the same time, the whole room was flooded with light and I heard something cutting through the thick air, and landing on something that sound like it hurt.

"Siiiiiiiike, motherfucker!!!"

OH FACK. What is this?

Then I heard a few more thumping sounds. Fuck. This fucker's beating Rika. I gotta stop him, but how?

After a few more unstoppable beatings, I could hear the man breathing heavily.

"Get up, you bitch"

I heard his voice. My eyes adjusted by this time, but since my head was fixed in a position I could only look at the ceiling, and a bright round white light that was installed on it – this was extremely bright – maybe halogen?

Then I heard Rika starting to… giggle?

"Tehehe… so.. Tobi's alive. You kept him alive? I guess I'll have to thank you for that"

Whack. The man must have hit Rika again.

"No more monkey business. This is the end. You will give up your useless 'life' to someone who actually deserved it"

"So it was you.. I was wondering what happened with the police, the disappearance of Tobi, the prime suspect of the mass killing.. MY FUCKING TOBI"

"It doesn't matter now, does it? You and I are both in this cycle"

"Don't put me in the same bracket as you. You amateur."

"Well yes, fuck me, and you are a pro bitch" – whack.

"How far back do you remember?"

"Until the moment you killed my daughter"

"The first time? The second time? The third time? You don't know do you?", and Rika burst into an evil laughter. What the fuck is going on?

"SHUT THE FUCK UP!" – a furious flurry of countless whacks.

When the madness stopped for a moment, I could hear both the man and Rika breathing heavily. Shit. It doesn't sound like Rika's alright – fuck, how could anyone take a beating like that.

"That's why you are a… what's the word they use these days..? Oh yes, you are a fucking NOOB"

"Don't mess with me!"

"I have been around before you've ever had your daughter old man. And you were late. So fucking late. Not that it mattered. But you were just late. You incompetent piece of shit. I've never seen you save anyone. And you failed your own daughter too"

"FUCK YOU!!" – but I did not hear the whack anymore. The man's voice was still fully in rage, but I could sense now there was a very slight hint of doubt and uncertainty.

"What do you think you are going to achieve now? You got it all wrong, again, you got it all wrong. And you even kept Tobi alive for me, just as I wished. Haha! How fucking cute!"

"You… you can't phase me anymore. We've gone through this many times, but this time it's gonna be different. You shall die in the spring before you bloom again"

"And how's that going to bring your daughter back? Like puff! Magic!?"

Rika was still breathing heavily but I could feel that some strength was coming back into her voice. I have no fucking clue what they were talking about, but if this was some mind games I think she's starting to gain the upper hand.

"Well. We will find out. And if it fails this time, I will try again next year. But I think it will work this time – we have that piece of shit over there now"

"Give it up old man. All your plot has been futile"

"Is that so? Then I guess I could just walk over and put an end to that fucking lump of meat? What do you think then will happen?"

Rika was silent.

"I bet, actually, I'm hundred percent certain that you can't bring him back to life. It will be over, for good. He will rot away like a discarded piece of meat. And it will be the end for you"

"You believe that?"

"Yes. You needed him to stay alive, and you at the same time. That was the chance you took. The only possible scenario that both of you may get over the autumn without dying again and a reset"

What the fuck man…

"Sigh.. you are onto something there"

"But why… why did you kill her? Why have you done this again..? And this time not even by your own hands"

"Old man, I've never got to tell you this before, but I am actually sorry about the first time"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP! It sickens me you are even pretending to be sorry!"

"That's a shame. Because I've always wanted to say this – but I guess you would have never accepted it anyway"

"You evil cunt"

"I will say this again. One last time. I'm sorry about your girl Gina"

"Don't you dare to speak her name again with your filthy mouth!"

"Give it up constable! This cycle. Is. Over. Now."

Then I heard some mad flurry of sound cutting through the air, a blunt object versus something sharp. There wasn't anything I could do to help, but I had to trust Rika's skills with her knife. She would have had more time with it than any swordsman there has ever been.

After what felt like a full minute of intense ballet with permanent death at stake, I heard a squishy sound.

"That does it. Rest in peace, although both of us know full well there is no such thing as an afterlife" – yes, this must have been Rika's victory.

"Fuck you.. this isn't over.. I will be back… and put an end to you… and my baby will come back.. never to be taken away from me again…"

"You poor bastard. Why do you think it took you so long to have the last one again?"

"What the fuck do you mean?"

"Because I have preemptively killed them you idiot"

"What the fuck?!"

"I hoped that would stop you from coming after me again. But every time it meant yet another grudge, karma as some idiots say, and yes, karma is a bitch"

"I don't under.."

"You don't need to. Just disappear forever knowing that now all the possible future generations of your daughters are killed"

"Fuck y-"

His words were cut short by another set of slashing and stabbing sounds. Whatever you did, or said, sounded fucking horrible. But I'm glad you won.

Then I heard Rika approach me slowly, she was stumbling by the sound of it.

I saw her blood-covered face come closer to mine, just inches away from my face. The halogen light above her was so bright that I couldn't see her face in the shade formed. It almost felt like there was a sun shining down from directly above her head.

"Tobi. I'm back"

I felt a few drops of her tears on my cheeks.

She un-did my jaw strap, lowered her face and kissed me on the lips for a long time.

As she broke off and lifted her face again, I gasped for air

"Salty"

Then we both struggled in pain as we couldn't help but laugh.

Rika undid all the restraints on my body and helped me up, putting her arms underneath my armpits and putting my arm around her back of the neck and the shoulders.

I looked around this dreadful room that I hoped I would never see again. I saw some carved marks on the wall as if somebody has been trying to record the count of something. There were many many lines. I also noticed there was what seemed to be a little altar set up for something, like something people have in their houses for praying to their ancestors.

On the way out, I stumbled onto something and looked down, it looked like a small piece of bone. Maybe too small to be a human bone. Some animal maybe? Rika looked down, picked up the bone, smiled, and threw it away.

We finally made our way out of the room, through the metal door, and as we walked out more, I realized we were actually in our school as the view of a school corridor opened up before my eyes.

"Rika.. what is this…?"

"Shhh… let a girl keep at least a secret or two will you?"

I didn't know what to say, so I just nodded in agreement.

"Tobi. This is my first second year of high school. I'm so excited"

Rika giggled. And that was good enough for me.

You are welcome Rika.

-the End-

Final words:

This was a revisit of an experimental writing I did quite a while ago. The whole story was written in about 20 hours in two separate sessions, with the entire plot and scenes improvised and It was like jamming with a musical instrument but even less structured. I started with the first scene with no preconception of what the story will be about, then I just wrote whatever scene that came to my head scene after scene. 

At the time of writing it was important in my mind that I complete the story ASAP, without mulling over things for days or 'sleep through and see how it reads the next day with fresh mind'. When I look back now, there are some inconsistencies and parts where I am tempted to revise, go more in detail, or use alternative scenes, or just rephrase some things at least,  etc.

But at the end of the day, I wanted to stay true to what I set out to do and keep this rough and raw. I felt applying hindsight now would diminish or subdue the emotional trip I enjoyed while writing the story. The only additional work put on to ‘polishing’ this story for posting was correcting spelling/grammatical errors and getting the illustration done for each chapter (big thanks to Imran)

Nevertheless, I hope this raw & live feel has survived and could also be felt by the readers. Perhaps this is not a sharing of the most refined 'work', but if the readers could feel it as a sharing of an 'experience', I would be happy enough.

Thank you for reading.