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Paper Jam

Chapter 5.5: Knowing Speaks Louder Than Words

Chapter 5.5: Knowing Speaks Louder Than Words

Oct 20, 2021

Chandra rolled up her sleeves and started ripping the old newspapers into strips. “Where did you get the idea to call this paper jam?”

“Oh, it’s ‘cause I really like making fruit jam.” Kyra cleaned the paper-making frame she had just used. “I’ve been experimenting with making dragon fruit jam and I think I’ve almost got the perfect recipe.”

Chandra felt one side of her mouth tugging upward into a smile. “You’ve got some pretty unconventional hobbies, Kyra.”

“Why, thank you.” Kyra grinned. “What about you? Have you ever made paper before?”

“Nah, I’m not much of the DIY type.” Chandra poured water into the blender. “My younger sister is, though. She likes making scrapbooks.”

“Ooo, does your sister go here?” Kyra watched Chandra blend the paper into a pulp.

“No, she goes to a music program in the next town.” 

“Oh!” Kyra looked up at her. “Does she go to the Arts Institute? My older brother’s girlfriend is an alum there.”

“Wait, really?” Chandra looked up in surprise. “Yeah, she goes there.”

“Whoa! Small world.” Kyra grinned.

“Does your brother make jam too?”

Kyra laughed. “Not this particular brother, no. My oldest brother likes to cook though, so we sometimes make jam together.”

“Oof, two older brothers?” Chandra laughed quietly, pouring the paper mixture into the tub of water. “What does it feel like to be the baby of the family?” 

“Honestly, depends on when you ask me.” Kyra’s eyes glinted with amusement.

“Fair. My sister would probably say the same.” Chandra sifted through the pulp of paper with the paper-making frame, letting the water drain down from its sides. 

“By the way, thanks for studying with me at the library last time,” Kyra said. “I think I have a better idea for my thesis now, thanks to you.”

“No problem.” Chandra smiled. “Your topic’s really interesting, so it was nice to chat with you about it. I can see how it can be frustrating though, to write an anthro thesis when you actually wanted to be a dancer.”

Kyra laughed quietly. “Yeah, thanks for hearing me out about that. I’ve never really been much of a study person, so it's been stressing me out a little. But it’s nice to know that I’m not the only one who gets confused.”

Chandra paused. That sounds familiar, she thought as she turned to look at Kyra. “By any chance, was it you who responded to my note in the anthro and dance book?”

“Oh, yeah! Was that your note?” Kyra laughed. “I was really struggling through that paragraph the other day. It was a relief to see I wasn’t struggling alone.”

“Yeah, that paragraph was really dense.” Chandra sighed, gently placing the frame on the plywood board with the pulp side facing down.

“Tell me about it! I think I’d understand the idea better when I’m actually dancing. Y’know, the idea that our bodies carry knowledge. Or I guess as the book calls it—embodied knowledge.” Kyra massaged her temples. “But reading about it for too long makes my head hurt.”

Chandra looked at her for a moment before humming in response. “But y’know Kyra, for someone who isn’t ‘much of a study person’, you’re really perceptive about the ideas in the book.”

“You think so?” 

“I do think so.” Chandra soaked the excess water from the paper-making frame with a sponge. “I’d be curious to hear more about what you think, actually. Maybe we can help each other out with our theses if you’re interested? It seems like they’re kind of connected, since we’re using the same book for reference.”

“Oh!” Kyra looked up at Chandra, her eyes wide. “Would that be alright?”

“Of course it’d be alright.” Chandra smiled. “It’d be nice to bounce ideas off of each other too, I think.”

“Oh, that’d be great!” Kyra seemed excited. She pulled her phone out of her pocket. “Would it be okay if I added your number, then?” 

“Yes, it’s under ‘Chandra Prawiraharja’ in the anthro group chat.” Chandra nodded at Kyra’s phone before lifting the paper-making frame. The resulting sheet was a little rough around the edges, but it was a sheet of paper nonetheless.

“Prawiraharja, huh?” 

Chandra nodded, waiting for the ‘isn’t that a masculine name?’ question that usually followed suit. She picked up the paper-making frame to wipe it clean.

Kyra gave her a once-over before smiling into her phone. “The name suits you.” 

Chandra paused. There she stood in surprise, blue button-up draped over her baggy jeans and old basketball shoes with the name her grandfather had given her. She gave Kyra a curious smile. “Thanks.”

“Hey, it’s Kyra!” Biru came over with Elga, both carrying old newspapers and magazines in their hands.

“Kyra!” Elga exclaimed, circling one arm around Kyra’s shoulder. “How are you? Let’s make paper together.”

Kyra laughed, giving Elga a side-hug. “Hey, guys. I think I need to head home, actually. I already made a bunch!” She gestured towards the sheets of paper on the plywood board. “They said we can pick it up tomorrow, so maybe I’ll see you guys then?” 

“I didn’t know you guys were friends?” Biru asked Chandra when Kyra had left. He plopped the old newspapers down on the table.

“We weren’t before.” Chandra lifted some of the paper pulp—the paper jam—in her hand and smiled. “But she’s interesting.” 

And if Chandra had turned her head sooner, she would’ve seen the glance that Elga and Biru shared.

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RJ RALS.

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Part 2 of this undergrad memory.

Links!
https://ko-fi.com/rals_etc
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#Paper_Jam #lgbtq #wlw #queer #indonesian #gl #Sapphic

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ThatOneAnnoyingTrans

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I woke up to this and said so weakly : ¨wOrTh iT fOr tHe gL¨

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"You wanna make paper jam with me?"

Chandra returns to her hometown and finds the book she used to write notes in with a girl that she knew. Thinking she will never see her again, the universe instead draws them back together again, leading Chandra to finally face her own feelings.

To make new paper from recycled sheets, you blend the shredded pieces together to make a kind of jam—paper jam. With patience, perseverance, and a little bit of kindness, smooth paper for writing is made.

A queer Indonesian story of dismantling what we know to make sense of what we have.

Updates Wednesday nights WIB!
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46 episodes

Chapter 5.5: Knowing Speaks Louder Than Words

Chapter 5.5: Knowing Speaks Louder Than Words

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