Even though during this month I have been inundated with assignments, notes, and books, Aiden always had a place in my thoughts. If I let myself look away for a second, here he was. I could think about his eyes for half an hour.

I call Laura (I usually don't call home often), and in between, I wonder how Brent and Aiden are doing. Her voice instantly changes to a sly one.

"Are you still on it, Romeo?" she sneers.

I would have strangled her over the phone, I swear. For being right.

"They left," she says, without waiting for my answer.

"What?" I even sit up in bed. Something coils unpleasantly inside my stomach.

"Well, yes. They were not going to stay with us anyway. Brent is a student," Laura elaborates.

I totally forgot about it. And I never asked about his school.

"And where did they go?" I ask, barely controlling my voice.

"How do I know?" Laura huffs.

Judging by my anxiety, I was hoping for something else. As long as I knew that they were on the farm, and I could come back at any time, to see Aiden, to talk to him, I was rather calm. And they just left.

"And you didn't take their number or address or something?" I push on.

"Why would I, dear brother?" Laura asks, as if genuinely perplexed. She will not pity me.

"Okay," I say. "I have to go," I hang up.

And I'm not going anywhere. Just examining the ceiling.

It's better this way. It was the last thread. It had to be cut off. And it has been. I haven't sorted anything out for the past month. I haven't thought anything through. I just put everything on pause.

That's enough.

I get out of bed.

I must move on. I won't think about it anymore.

I sit down to work. I take on as many additional tasks as possible. I dive into them. But progress is evident. I've never been so diligent, and now I'm one of the top students.

In the evening, I allow myself to relax. I order pizza and sit in the living room in front of the TV.

Hearing a knock at the door, I take money from the table to give them to the delivery man, but it's not him.

"Hi. Long time no see. Are you busy?" Sean smiles broadly. This is his trademark smile. He is tanned and seems to have lost weight and grown taller. I haven't seen him since we broke up.

"What a surprise," I say. "Come in."

Behind Sean, the pizza delivery man appears.

Sean is already getting comfortable on the couch in the living room.

"I wanted to surprise you," Sean says and, without asking me, takes a slice of pizza after I put the box on the table. Yes, he is that unmannered. It doesn't annoy me. I sit down next to him and also take a piece for myself.

"Well, tell me how you're doing," Sean says.

"How am I doing? Everything is the same as you see."

Sean looks around the room and looks sideways at the hallway, "Is anyone else here?"

"I live alone if that's what you mean."

Sean stares at me and licks his lips.

"Come on, Sean. Just say what's on your mind. I know you wouldn't just come for no reason," I say.

He narrows his hazel eyes, "Okay, you're right. I'm still embarrassed to ask. I need a place to stay for a couple of days. And, as luck would have it, I couldn't reach anyone else but you."

Sean is two years younger than me. His father died when Sean was 14, so he matured quickly. If he asks for help, he really needs it. And we're not strangers, although sometimes it seems that shared history can estrange people more than no history at all.

"You can crash on the couch," I say.

"Really?" Sean beams at me. "Is it ok?"

"Sean, stop this pseudo-polite bullshit. Had you been worried about such things, you wouldn't have come to me at all."

Sean grins and takes another slice of pizza. We watch TV and talk. He asks about Laura, about how I spent the summer. I am not telling him anything new. This evening is like any other with him three years ago. We liked to be together. It felt good, and it was calm. Quiet haven.

I try to remember how it all started with Sean...

We met at the university at some festival. We talked from time to time. Then... he had nowhere to live, and I invited him to stay with me. He refused several times, offered me money... But I also pursued my goals there. When we had become friends, I started to like him. I felt really comfortable around him. That was why I offered him to stay with me. Sex happened on the second night. I don't remember who initiated it. We came to our senses in the morning.

Sean told me that he had noticed me a long time ago and that he was looking for an excuse to get to know me. He said he liked me.

In short, it happened quite naturally. I liked spending time with him. We talked a lot. We shared interests in music and movies. We went hiking, had sex, and cooked - in general, right off the bat, I was in a committed relationship.

It lasted two and a half years. But I couldn't chase away the feeling that Sean and I were stuck at some stage or started with the wrong pace... In the end, Sean said that something important was missing in our relationship. And he could no longer deceive me or himself. Well, he didn't deceive me, I felt so too. I just agreed to live without this "something important." Maybe I just liked being with someone. Moreover, I can't say that I didn't love Sean. Our relationship seemed simple, but in the end, it was not enough.

We broke up peacefully. He left, and I stayed. And I haven't seen him for two years. I missed the way we were together, but gradually I got used to it. And then I stopped thinking about Sean.

Now I am even glad that he is here. Lately, I felt rather lonely. Although, perhaps I confuse it with some other feeling.

Sean goes to sleep on the couch, and I go to the bedroom.

"You know what is where," I tell him before leaving.

"Yeah. Turn off the light."

I reach out for the light switch.

"I missed you, Jack," Sean's voice sounds in the dark, but I leave the room without answering.

Why is he doing this? Is he bored and lonely?

Before going to bed, I remember that about a year after the beginning of our relationship, Sean confessed to me that he'd had a place to live, but he just needed a chance to get closer to me.

Is it possible that he decided to do the same trick again?