I would have never thought that this day will come... digging a hole with my best friend, somewhere out there, in complete darkness, for a guy that we just accidentally hit and most probably killed with our car. Well, my life was always hectic and full of “adventures”, but I never expected it to be this bad. By the way, my name is Akira Tanaka. I was just an ordinary medical worker before this incident, but now I’m also a criminal on top of my boring career.

All this shit wouldn’t have happened if my best friend’s stupid ass boyfriend did not dump her. It’s not like I’m accusing anyone of what happened just now but in given circumstances, someone should be blamed and in our case, it’s going to be that donkey... and well, also the alcohol that has been stored in us since we left that evil pub. Now, this poor guy became the victim of our excessive drinking *cough* I mean “depression” healing process. 

You might ask, “hey Akira, why the fuck are you so calm about this”, or “hey Akira, why the hell are you so happy about hitting a guy with a car” and I will tell you, I’m just being optimistic. This guy is now in a much better place than we all are, okay? He is now in heaven... or hell. Well, I don’t know where he is, but he is still in a much better place than all of us combined, except for those indecently rich ones. They live their best lives, I guess…

Anyway, it’s not like I’m happy or calm about the situation. I’m just not panicking, as my best friend does. She is literally trying to keep up with all this shit, but she shakes more than a tractor usually does. I gave her a shovel when I hit rock bottoms so she would bulldoze those parts for me. She is a good friend, especially that she was the one in the driver’s seat, but I’m the one who is digging a hole in the middle of nowhere.

All of that aside, there is this one thing that keeps bothering me, though is that this guy looks very handsome. Like I mean literally handsome. And it feels like I have met him in my patheti- I mean “adventurous” life before, but because mud and blood covered his face, I can’t see it clearly. Or maybe it’s dark here and I’m blind or something…? Just the fact that we killed a handsome young man bothers me a lot! There are so few of them and we just killed one! Like dammit, Niko-kun! Why the handsome one… ugh!

After a decent amount of time spent in forests in the middle of nowhere, the diggers - *US*, finally dug the hole and buried this guy. Then we went to the nearest spot with a riverside to wash our bodies, clothes and our car because it was covered in mud and blood. The worst is that it’s night and we see very little, so we were extra careful with cleaning all that blood and mud mess, leaving minimum traces. After all, if someone notices anything off, we will be dead for sure. If not dead, then we would just rot for the rest of our lives in prison.

Right after washing ourselves and the car, we went straight home because we both had to go to work the next morning. We had to prepare ourselves for the upcoming trashy-criminal days. I was preparing my friend most of the time, though. I made her understand that we have two options. One is that we go to prison and rot there as some rats or we just keep our mouths shut for the rest of our lives and live happily ever after~ Not the easiest thing but still better than prison, right?

I couldn’t fall asleep last night. Prayed to all gods above and below to help us with upcoming struggles, prayed for my friend to be conscious of the situation and not to act suspiciously as she usually does. I really hope they will help us with upcoming difficulties…

Well, I thought that way at first, but I wasn’t expecting that those gods won’t help us at all. The odd and shitty behavior of my friend the next day that would cause people to suspect us of something was ridiculously obvious. We arrived at the hospital the next morning and I was trying to be calm and not to act suspicious whilst my friend was just being paranoid as hell. One of our colleagues even asked her:

-Niko-san, are you feeling alright today? Did you drink too much coffee because you act overly hyperactive?

This type of question can put Niko-kun through some “difficulties” when she is in her paranoid state of mind. When she realizes that someone suspects her in something, she becomes psychotic. So, I literally yelled “EVERYTHING IS FINE AKIKO-SAN, FORGIVE US PLEASE!!”, took her arm, and vanished into a thin air or, in other words, we jumped into the empty closet for janitors that was right next to us. I was trying to not get mad at her but then she cried so all that I could do is to be scary and serious to make her fear the consequences of her behavior.

-Niko-kun listen carefully! If you are going to act so paranoid and suspicious and reveal our “small” secret then I’m going to turn you in and deny all accusations towards me, because it was you in the driver’s seat in the car yesterday (forgive me for this Niko-kun I don’t mean it~). So, get a hold of yourself, take sedative pills, and if you don’t think you can work today, just take a leave.

I took those sedatives out of my pocket, put them in her hand, and closed it. She was shocked and because she feared that it all can be exposed one day she apologized and asked for a leave. I think this was the best choice so far, to send her home and deal with the staff on my own. Of course, if my partner in crime wasn’t this paranoid scaredy-cat, I would feel better, but because she isn’t and because she left me alone, I feel uncomfortable as well. Now that I am left alone at the hospital, I was feeling a bit paranoid as well, so I immediately took pills and tried to soothe my nerves. Everything was fine until... *siren sounds approached the hospital*

-MOVE ASIDE!!!

I heard the noises, and I knew something serious was happening. I prepared myself for the worst-case scenario, but what was going to happen wasn’t even close to my feared scenario...

I rush to the entrance to get a glance at what’s happening, and I saw a guy in torn and muddy clothes on a gurney, tied up and with an oxygen mask on his face. Mud and the hair that was hanging on his eyes mostly covered his face. I was shocked and scared… what if this was the guy we hit yesterday! But then, we buried him in a pretty deep hole. What if it was exposed?! Someone saw us and dug out the body! But then again, that’s unrealistic. I felt a heaviness in my chest. All those thoughts led me to a panic attack. I really was lost, and I didn’t know what to do.

While I was acting all weird, sweating and biting my precious nails, the nurse approached me in a hurry and told me:

-Tanaka-sensei, you will treat him because he is your patient~

She was smiling happily at me while my face was literally saying, “ARE YOU F*CKING SERIOUS RIGHT NOW?!”, so all I did was just…

-EEEEHHH???!! - all the patients and doctors in the hallway looked at me with a shock on their faces!

-Tanaka-sensei are you alright? – she asked me with a startled face.

-EEHH?? – I let the sound again but this time whispering – why am I the one to take care of him?? Don’t we have other doctors?!

-Uhm… we do Sensei, but right now it’s still too early in the morning and most of the doctors are absent. The night shifters are gone as well, so you are the only option we have…

-I see… Do you at least know where they found this guy?

-Found?

-*oops* I – I mean, look at his clothes. He looks like a homeless man or just someone who got really drunk and was lost in a muddy forest *SHUT UP AKIRA WHAT ARE U BLABERING ABOUT!!*.

-Ah that! I heard they found him in a close park laying near a pit. People who were crossing by saw him and called an ambulance because they thought he was a drunk homeless man.

- They did what?! From where?!