Chapter 12

Weapons Training

And when I say eyes right I want to hear
those eyeballs click and the gentle pitter-patter
of falling dandruff, you there, what’s the matter
why are you looking at me, are you a queer?
look to your front if you had one more brain
it’d be lonely; what are you laughing at
you in the back row with the unsightly fat
between your elephant ears, open that drain
you call a mind and listen, remember first
the cockpit drill when you go down e sure
the old crown-jewels are safely tucked away what could be more
distressing than to hold off with a burst
from your trusty weapon, a mob of the little yellows
only to find bac home because of your position
your chances of turning the in the ignition
considerably reduced? Allright now suppose
for the sake of argument you’ve got
a number-one blockage and a brand-new pack
of Charlies are coming at you, you can smell their rotten fish-sauce breath hot on the back
of your stupid neck allright now what
are you going to do about it? That’s right, grab and check
the magazine man, it’s not a woman’s tit
worse luck or you’d be set too late you nit
they’re on you and your tripes are round your neck
you’ve copped the bloody lot just like I said
and you know what you are? You’re dead, dead, dead

-From “Weapons Training” by Bruce Dawe

        I woke up the next morning to hot breath on my neck, and a familiar body behind me. I snuggled into her more, as I yawned and stretched, loving her embrace.

        “Good morning,” she murmured softly from behind me, “you know what starts today?”

        I shook my head as I rolled over to face her, an evil grin on her face put dread in my stomach, “Training Day.” She said simply, “My generals, and other various members of our little… militia, I suppose it would be called, want to make sure that the ‘Halfling won’t hinder us when the fighting starts.’ Their words, not mine.”

        I groaned loudly and snuggled into her, “Can’t I just sleep here?” I asked from underneath the covers, near her bosom.

        I felt her shake her head as she patted my hair, “Don’t worry; I’ll be with you as much as I can; and when I can’t, just know I’m cheering you on, if silently. You’ll do fine, I promise.”

        I looked up at her pouting and sighed as I got out of bed, putting on a pair of jeans, some black, steel-toed shoes that were prepared for me, and a black tank top, throwing my hair in a ponytail, “Fine… I just hope I don’t regret this,” I muttered softly, earning a soft chuckle from her as she walked up behind, kissing and lightly nibbling my neck.

        “Be a good girl today, and you’ll get a reward later,” she whispered in my ear.

        With that, she pushed me lightly on my back, out her bedroom door and… into the arms of who I could only assume to be my instructor for the day.

        “Well, it’s not every day pretty women just end up in my arms like this, y’know,” he said with a wink.

        He waved at Mai and said something about “taking good care of me,” which I was suddenly extremely wary of.

        And I was right to be. A couple hours later, “Be quicker, lighter on your feet! Get up, try again!” he said for the millionth time today.

        I wiped the sweat from my brow and neck with the back of my hand for the trillionth and sighed, stretching as I stood up with my ‘sword’ out in front of me, standing at the ready.

        He came at me with full strength, nothing less than should be expected from someone in his position, but as weak and drained as I was from the past couple hours, another attack would almost certainly be grave for me, wooden swords or not. He held his sword over his head high, ready to strike as he charged me when, “STOP!” came Mai’s cry, “She’s had enough for right now. She needs a break, surely a commander as good as yourself can see that. So explain to me why in the name of all things Unholy, you keep pushing her!” she demanded, rather viciously.

        He stuttered as his arm fell to his side, the sword slipping from his grasp, as he lamely waved at the men and women who’d gathered to watch with his other hand. Even they, the women more than the men, could see I’d had enough, but none had been brave enough to speak out, “They learned by being pushed…” he offered lamely.

        “So because a FEW people learned this way, you think SHE can?” she asked, the women who’d gathered nodding their heads in agreement, “Didn’t you have to teach the WOMEN in your forces slightly differently from the MEN?” she finished, putting emphasis on her words.

        He stuttered again, wiping sweat from his brow and pulling off what little armor he deigned to wear for this training exercise, “I… Your Majesty, I apologize for my misgivings. I’ll think of another way to train her, if you’ll give me another chance.”

        She sighed and shook her head in annoyance, wrapping an arm around my waist protectively, “No; no, you won’t. You won’t be training her from here on if you can’t think properly for a second and train someone based on their physicality and known capabilities. You, get out of my sight and take your MEN with you. I’ll have one of the WOMEN take over her training, as well as training for any other woman who wants to join up.” She declared coldly, as his face flushed pale white; he left the training grounds in a hurry.

        “You, there,” she pointed to a soldier with their face hidden by a cloak, “Take that off; let those still gathered see your face.”

        “Ma’am, I’m not allowed to. You told me to never show my face…” the figure trailed off.

        “You mean a witch’s curse? Unveil yourself, if only in private, to your new trainee.” Mai stated, as she turned, pulling me with her, back towards the castle.

        She dropped me off at the room she initially designated for me, “Sorry; I’d love to take you back to my room, but I’ve got some rather important business to attend to first, so you’ll have to make do with this room, for now. Call for a servant if you’d like a bath, or food, okay?”

        I nodded as I yawned and stretched, the last couple hours were gruesome. It’d been years since I was trained that hard. I stripped down and threw on a pair of PJ bottoms, opting to go topless for the moment when, “Well, you’ve got a nice body, don’t you? And a little something extra; though that’s more of a clit than anything,” said a voice from the corner.

        I simply groaned in frustration as I plopped down on the bed, “Whoever you are, I’m too tired after training with that jackass. Just… come over here and sit down, or something. No need to be mysterious.” I complained.

        I heard nothing in response, but eventually felt new weight adding itself to my bed, “I’m just here to do as I was told,” she said matter-of-factly as she threw off the cloak with an overly grand flourish.

        Once she was done with the dramatics, I took the time to admire her body. She was wearing a black suit, with knee high combat boots. Her raven black hair was up in a ponytail, and I assumed when she had it down, it reached her mid-back, if not farther. Her ears were pointed in a wolf-like manner. She was gorgeous in her own right, from her hair to her…. “Wait, is that a tail?” I thought… out loud, only realizing my mistake a second late, quickly covering my mouth with my hand.

        She nodded and motioned with her hands as if to ask, “What of it?” as she swished it back and forth.

        I shrugged my shoulders and continued my assessment of her. Overall, she’s absolutely gorgeous; from her hair to her tail; from her biker chick look to the weapons hidden about her person.

        “Okay, so… Task accomplished, I’ve seen you. What now?” I ask curiously, sitting up against the headboard.

        “Well, first off, my name is Ember. Second off, and this might sound a bit weird, but what do you see when you see… me?”

        I was taken aback by the question, “I see a female, roughly… C-cup breasts? And… you smell absolutely divine, by the way… If I wasn’t already… Well, maybe she wouldn’t mind…”

        Shock crept over her face at my response, “What, was I wrong?” I asked in a panic.

        She shook her head, “No. It’s just… It’s like Mai said, I was cursed by a witch when I was younger, shortly after losing my parents. I turned down her ‘offer,’ and the curse she hit me with was supposed to make it so nobody would see my ‘true self,’ nobody other than the person destined to be mine…” she explained rather somberly.

        I nodded, deciding not to press matters as I gathered her cloak up and handed it back to her. “So is that why you keep yourself hidden away?” I said simply, as I started getting dressed, slipping out of my PJ bottoms and a pair of jeans on, replacing the tank top I wore with a short sleeve shirt, and a pair of running shoes.

        She nodded as she got her cloak on as I placed my hand on the doorhandle, ready to go exploring again.

        “Wait,” she said softly, grabbing onto my free hand, “I’m coming with you. She told me to train you, right? Might as well take on guarding you, since… You’re the first person to see me as I am supposed to be in a couple decades…” she trailed off softly, the sadness evident in her voice.

        I simply shrugged and turned the handle, throwing the door open, “If you want, I won’t stop you. Though, there’s no point in guarding me, not while I’m in the castle.”

        She followed silently, looking more like she should be part of my shadow than her own person. “So… Where are we going?” she asked after a few minutes.

        I looked both ways before turning down a rather shady-looking corridor, running to get to the door I saw from the intersection.

        “Slow down, goddammit! You, you, need training? I don’t see how! You’re faster than a fucking wolf!” she yelled as I rounded a corner, unsure as to where the door vanished to.

        I stopped in front of a door that seemed like it had no place being there; it was made of mahogany while the rest of the doors and walls were either stone or oak the doorknob was made of bronze whereas the rest were glass, gold, or silver.

        My new trainer, and self-appointed Guardian, looked at me questioningly as I pulled some bobby pins out of my hair, unlocking the door in what I assumed was 30-45 minutes.

        I slipped in and tried to close the door on her, not wanting any distractions for what was coming; though she was as quick as I was in slipping through.

        “I wish you’d stayed out there,” I mumbled somewhat angrily even as I yawned.

        This room’s Guardian was more… mystique, in comparison to the others. There was smoke, or maybe fog, coming from somewhere in the room.

        The space was rather empty, but before either of us could say anything, or move away from the door, a couch appeared in the middle of the room, and some screen appeared on the wall.

        We made our way over to the couch, to find a note, some popcorn, and drinks ready.

        “Sit back, relax, and enjoy the show!” the note said, as the screen came to life with a typical “3, 2, 1” countdown.

        “What’s… going on?” she asked.

        I sighed as I sat down and made myself comfortable, “Well… This was why I didn’t want you in here with me, but now we’re stuck here. Just.. do as the note says, sit back, relax, and enjoy.” I say with an annoyed huff.

        The screen in front of us played scenes from various magic acts throughout the ages.

        I was used to the Guardians being ethereal beings that barely spoke, let alone made any noise in way of banging on walls, or shifting items around, but this one appeared in front of us as the scenes ended. I didn’t notice, but while the ‘movie’ was playing, Ember had wrapped an arm around the back of my neck, across my shoulders.

        This Guardian materialized in front of us once the ‘movie’ was over, “You are a very, very bad Halfling,” they started, rather maliciously.

        “What makes this room special? Why are you materializing, and not just… giving me useless instructions, like the others?”

        “Because you brought a Werewolf with you this time,” they continued, “Not just any werewolf, but this one has a Witch’s Curse, and in the Vampiress’ pay. Naughty Halfling, you are, but a naughtier Wolf, she is.”

        I turned to look at her, the frustration evident on my face, “What do they mean, ‘You’re in the Vampiress’ pay?’” I asked, unable to keep the frustration out of my voice.

        She shrugged her shoulders, “Why do you think I wear this cloak? Your Queen, yes I know her name, but she knows who I am, and who I work for. I’m a double agent, I guess you’d say; at least, as of a few days ago, I guess.” She explains, even as she pulls away from me towards the opposite end of the couch.

        The Guardian smiled, I thought, “That is the true mark of a proper Guardian; being able to tell the truth to all who will listen, over hiding behind smoke, mirrors, and lies.”

        I sighed even as I nodded, the Guardian turning their attention to me, “Well, Halfling; that was all I was here to do. You know what to do, now.” They say as they disappear, the couch and table still here.

        I nodded again as the room ‘lit’ up, with the movie being over, and stood up to stretch.

        “Okay, so… what am I supposed to be looking for?” I said aloud, not seeing any items, whether in piles, or in some sort of organization, as I thought to my last two rooms.

        After a few minutes, I felt a rather familiar tug; it felt like a line being pulled taught, ‘where have I felt this before?’ I thought to myself, even as the weapons I picked up from the last two rooms appeared at my hips, and on my back.