I awoke in a cold sweat, my heart still racing from my nightmares.  I wasn’t surprised I’d had one, but it always sucked when I did.  Made me start my day fearful, exhausted, and sometimes paranoid.  Thankfully this wasn’t one of the really bad ones, the ones that left me unable to control the paranoia and jumping at every noise, it was just a regular nightmare – the kind where I relived some injury I’d collected.  Sometimes terrifying, but always the perfect way to start the day.  

     Knowing I wasn’t going to get back to sleep any time soon, I dragged myself out of bed and started to get ready.  Library today.  It was Thursday, it shouldn’t be too busy.  I would have to create a resume and print several copies there, which meant I needed to bring all my splurge money.  I had no idea how much it cost to print things at the library but better bring too much than too little.

     The moment I left my apartment building, I felt it.  I paused, knowing what that feeling meant.  It meant someone, one of them, was watching me.  I almost turned to look, but I knew that would be a bad idea.  It was no doubt Sorrel, and making eye contact wouldn’t help.  Maybe, just maybe, if he saw I wasn’t a threat, he would leave me alone.  It was probably a good thing I hadn’t had a really bad nightmare today, or feeling like I was being watched would have most likely sent me running back into my apartment for the rest of the day, and I couldn’t afford that.  So I pretended to ignore it, put my head down, and started to trudge along my long walk to the library. 

     It would have been faster to take the bus, but buses cost money, and I wasn’t willing to spend a dime more than I had to, especially right now.  Walking took longer but it wasn’t that bad.  I could walk four miles, it wasn’t even that cold yet.  Chilly, but not frosty.  I’d be fine.  The library was closer than my school, anyway, so I was used to walking at least that far.

     I wasted more hours than I wanted at the library trying to figure out what a resume should even look like and how to format the damn thing.  I know how to program, but…this was different.  This was trying to understand what on earth the proper design was from all the options that the internet suggested.  Did it even matter?  I hoped there wasn’t a magic formula that I was missing.  I hoped I didn’t screw up the design enough that no one would hire me.  I hoped this was good enough.

     Then to start looking for jobs.  I really, really wanted to find something that wasn’t primarily customer service, because I knew people wouldn’t even hire me for that, anyway.  But it had to pay enough to cover my rent, food, bills, and at least a little extra to save for classes.  That was the hard part.  I didn’t have a degree yet that like half the non-customer service jobs seemed to want and I didn’t have the muscle for jobs like construction or something.  Wading through all the jobs to find good options was a headache all on its own.  But I submitted my resume to as many as I could find that seemed like potential options.  I knew that not having a phone number might be a problem, but I had an email address they could contact me at – when I visited the library to check it – so maybe that would be enough?

     From the library I started down the street again, trying to visit some of the nearest places that were only accepting in-person applications.  That went well.  Really well.  The first one told me to speak up three times before asking if this was a joke and telling me to get out and stop wasting their time.  The second said I had the experience, but since I hadn’t even met his eyes once during the interview, he didn’t think I’d be a good fit.  Something about being able to deal with people, I guess.  The third said they weren’t hiring anymore, and the fourth told me I wasn’t what they were looking for without even taking a look at my resume.

    It was getting into early evening and I was tired, tired of walking around town on what seemed to be a hopeless errand.  It was hard enough for me to do a job I’d been at for years – did I really think anyone else was going to give me a chance?  Maybe, maybe if I got a degree, maybe then I could get a job that didn’t involve working directly with people, that gave me enough to actually afford a nice little apartment, regular meals, just the normal things.  But I had to get there first.  And that goal seemed further away than it had yesterday.

     The boisterous laughing of several people jerked my attention ahead of me on the sidewalk where I saw a large group of teens talking animatedly as they traveled together in a pack.  I scurried to get off the sidewalk and out of their way.  Thankfully there was a small park on the side, so I could easily melt out of their way into the twilight shadows of the park without them even noticing.

     If I hadn’t stepped into the park, it’s possible that when the noise of the teens passed and the street was relatively quiet again, that I wouldn’t have noticed the groan from nearby.  A groan which instinctively made me look around until I spotted what looked like a man on the ground several yards away.

     Very, very cautiously I took a few steps forward, trying to get a better look.  I regretted that almost the moment I did get a better look.  The man, who had the head of what appeared to be a rabbit, looked like he’d been attacked and chewed up by something.  Something with claws and teeth.  He didn’t look to be conscious, but the injuries looked really bad.  Like bad enough to kill him without help.

     I froze.  What do I do?  I didn’t know anything that could help him, like CPR or whatever.  Did CPR even help when someone was bleeding that much?  I had no idea.  And I didn’t want to get involved with one of them, but if I did nothing…if I did nothing he would die.  And that didn’t seem right, either.

     I never learned.  I was still dealing with the consequences of trying to help someone last night, consequences which were going to cost me my job, my apartment, and probably my class unless there was any feasible way to avoid that, but here I was sticking my nose into another messy business for no good reason.  I just couldn’t seem to help myself.

     Sighing internally and scolding myself, I made my way back to the sidewalk where I’d spotted a payphone.  At least I had my spare change with me.  I could do this much.  I could call for help.

     “911, what is your emergency?”  The professional voice was quick but calm.

     “Um, there’s a man, injured,” I spotted a little sign with the park’s name, “at Maplewood Park.  He looks like he’s bleeding a lot.  I think he got attacked by an animal, maybe? I’m not sure if it’s still around.”

     “Okay, Sir, what’s your name?  Is the man – ”

     I slammed the phone down without answering.  Hopefully that would be enough.  They knew someone was injured, needed help, and the predator might still be around.  That was all they needed to know, right?  I had done all I could?

     I hesitated, then groaned internally.  No, I needed to wait and make sure they got there, didn’t I?  I didn’t need to wait where they could see me, but I needed to make sure help arrived before I ran off.  The man might be unconscious and not aware that there was someone watching over him, but that didn’t mean he should be alone when he was injured like that.

     I crossed the street to sit on a bench in the shadows, nervously listening for sirens while I kept an eye on the shape in the distance I knew to be the injured man.  I didn’t think sitting any closer would help him, right?  I couldn’t exactly help him myself, I was just there to make sure help arrived –

     No.  I could see it.  I could see the predator slinking out of the shadows, its eyes glued to the unconscious man.

     I’d never seen one like this before.  Normally, when I saw them, they were humans with animal heads, maybe.  Like a man with a wolf head.  This time, it was a wolf – it looked large to me, but then I didn’t know how big wolves usually were, so maybe it was normal sized.  Either way it was way bigger than anything I could deal with.  But the creepiest thing about it was that overlaid on the wolf’s head, I could see a man’s face.

     Normally when I saw them I couldn’t see whatever their human face was – if they didn’t have one like the fairy-winged people did – without seeing their image in a mirror.  Seeing a man’s face echoed on a wolf was enough to induce shivers.

     A part of me wondered why it had left and why it came back when I realized the same loud group of teens I had passed probably spooked it away, then it heard my voice and waited until it thought I had left.  Now it was returning to finish what it had started.

     I strained my ears, hoping to hear the sounds of sirens, but no.  No one was coming in time, if they were coming at all.  I was the only one there who could help.

     No, I thought to myself, this is crazy.  Don’t get involved.  That’s always the best.  Don’t get involved, just keep going.

     But even with my internal alarms screaming at me, I couldn’t avoid it.  I couldn’t just let someone die, no matter what they were, not if there was a chance I could help.

     I picked up a rock by my foot and threw it without thinking, surprised at my own accuracy when it bounced off the wolf’s shoulder.  “Hey!”  I yelled as loud as I could manage.

     The wolf spun around, snarling and growling when it spotted me.  It took a step forward, and then my mind reminded me that by distracting it, I was now the prey.

     It was time to run.

     Run.  Don’t stop, don’t listen.  Just keep going.  Run.

     But how was I supposed to outrun a wolf?  I could hear it catching up with me before I even got halfway down the block.

     Don’t take straight routes – make it turn, make it lose speed.  But keep running.

     So I suddenly dropped down the street to my left, then took a sharp to the right, running as fast as I could make my body go as I did so.  I nearly ran into someone who looked vaguely familiar – and shocked – as I rushed by, but I didn’t stop long enough to let my brain process who I’d seen.  I just shouted “run!” at them as I kept going.

     I hoped the wolf wouldn’t catch whoever that was, hoped it was focused enough on me that it wouldn’t notice the other person.  I hoped I hadn’t just brought the wolf to someone else to kill, that was kind of the opposite of what I was going for.  But I couldn’t fight the thing – the only thing I had on my side was that I was used to running and could turn down alleyways faster than it.  Granted, I didn’t know this part of town as well so it was a gamble that I might make a wrong turn and end up in a dead end, but I had to try.  I had to keep running.

     Run.  Don’t stop.  Don’t look back.  Don’t stop.

     I wasn’t sure exactly how long I ran until I finally had to slow down, but when I risked looking back, there was nothing.  I waited, catching my breath, but no large vicious canine came running out of the dark at me.  Nothing happened.  It was quiet, almost quieter than I expected on this street.  I could hear some people talking at the corner, laughing together, but otherwise – nothing.

     Taking a shaky breath, I turned back the way I came.  I needed to make sure that wolf didn’t kill whoever I almost ran into.  And that the man in the park had been rescued.  I know, I know, it was stupid.  I’d run this far and now I was going back, possibly right into the wolf’s jaws if it was wandering around looking for me.  But I couldn’t just ignore the possibility that I’d made things worse.  I probably should have just stopped when I almost ran into that person.  Should have made sure they ran off instead while I took the wolf a different direction.  That – that was stupid of me.  I might have gotten someone killed because of that.

     With a sinking heart, I managed to find my way back along the streets, back to where I’d come from.  To my surprise, when I found where I’d almost run into the person, there was nothing there.  No blood, no indications of a struggle.  I breathed a sigh of relief.  Hopefully that meant whoever it was had run off, too.  And that the wolf hadn’t chased them instead.  That was an unfortunate possibility, but I had no way of knowing.  Because I’d been too busy focusing on running off on my own.

     Berating my foolishness and self absorption that had let me run off even while knowing I might have gotten someone else into trouble, I turned back in the direction of the park and peeked around the corner.  I didn’t need to go closer than that, I could see the ambulance and the flashing lights from here.  I breathed another sigh of relief.  Well, at least he had help.  Maybe the sirens had warned off the wolf before it got to whoever I passed?  I could hope that.  I had to hope that.

     I couldn’t dwell on it any longer because it was time to head to my class or I was going to be late.  I wasn’t even sure I could get there on time as it was – I was a lot further away than I planned to be at this point in the night.

     Was it selfish of me, going back to my normal life, going to class when I knew there might be a wolf chasing down an innocent person I’d happened to bump into?  I wasn’t sure.  Probably.  But I also had no idea where to start looking for the person and the wolf if I tried and wasn’t sure what to do even if I found them.  I wasn’t exactly a wolf expert.

     I argued with myself the entire way to the college campus, trying to convince myself – unsuccessfully – that this was the only reasonable thing.  I couldn’t be responsible for a predator chasing after someone.  Normally true, but in this case I’d led it to them.  But I didn’t know for sure it had gone after them, it might have still chased me, right?  There hadn’t been any indication in that alley that it had gotten anyone else.  And I didn’t even know where to begin to look, so what was I supposed to do, wander around Avenglade aimlessly?