Knox

Esai's face falls, and I growl as Jax goes limp. His body falls into Esai, his breathing shallow. I rush to his side and take Jax carefully from Esai's arms, holding him to my chest protectively. I feel a snap in my chest and close my eyes - our bond was still there, the threads tighter than before, but something was missing, almost as if it had broken too soon. 

"Call for my brother." Cypher rushes from the room, his pheromones leaving a stream of panic as I softly graze my hands down Jax's face. He seems pale, almost like someone has pulled the plug, draining him of blood. My chest tightens; I could not lose him - I would not. I place my brow hesitantly to Jax's and let out a breath. 

"Don't leave me, please."

"If I had known breaking the bond would do this to him, I would never have."

I cut Esai off; I was so focused on Jax that I had forgotten he was in the room. Had breaking the bond done this to Jax? Had Esai potentially done this on purpose so neither one of us could have him? Rage coils around me and tightens. He had done much to Jax over the years; would he kill him too like he did his father?

A door slams open, and I hear a cry before a bag is settled before me. My Brother's face comes into view, and I blink tears as I settle my mate into his arms. I watch my Brother cradle him like a child as Cassian settles beside him and begins to rummage through the medical bag. 

"How did you get here so quickly?" I choke on my words and wipe my tears with my sleeve. 

"I was already in the building. Cassian, please get me a pillow and prepare the machine I use for blood results." Cassian moves as if he'd done this a thousand times, and I watch, my heart pounding. Aiden takes a needle and jabs it effortlessly into Jax's pale skin; he pulls back and draws enough blood to smear across the reading card.

"Here." Cassian hands Aiden a small white box with a screen and metal scanner and take the needle. They move in sync, their hands passing items back and forth. "Smear it across the plate."

Cassian pushes the needle, and a trickle of blood falls, landing on the metal slide. A glass panel closes over it, and Aiden presses a few buttons before it flashes to life. It takes a few seconds, and the high-frequency buzz makes the hairs on my arms stand up as I grit my teeth and glance at my Brother. He looks at the screen, and his face freezes for a moment before he looks down at Jax and then at me. My stomach drops as I reach for Jax and lift him onto my lap. I hold him as close as possible and kiss the centre of his forehead. "I love you so much." My whole heart stopsy have a heat?" I nod,

"Yes, it was a few days ago now." Aiden nods and settles the scanner to the side.

"Jax was pregnant." My heart flutters for a second before his words register. 

"Was?" I stare down at my bonded mate and then back at my Brother. 

"The stress of the bond breaking put too much stress on Jax's body - although the baby wasn't exactly anything but a fertilised egg, it still broke. I'm so sorry." I stare at my Brother, entirely frozen. How could this have happened? Jax took his contraceptive and had tested negative the night before. Either this meant the results were inconclusive, or the drug didn't take effect. I suddenly feel a sense of nausea take over and lower my head onto Jax's - I have lost another child. I had done this - how would Jax react? Would he hate me?

"I."

"It's ok, Knox; let's take Jax to the sofa." I stand and numbly walk towards the couch. My hands squeeze Jax so tightly I'm afraid he'll bruise, but I can't bear to let him go. I feel his body stir in my arms, and look down at him. Tears cloud my eyes, but I suck down a breath and will them away. I had to be strong for him; I had to look strong. His eyes flutter before fully opening; I watch as he sucks down a breath and closes his eyes again. It takes a minute before he inhales and opens his eyes. Jax's hands search for my face as they smooth up my chest and clench my shirt. "Knox."

I lean down and press a kiss on his forehead.

"I'm here." I peer up, only realising that everyone has left us. Jax shivers and leans back, enough for me to see his beautiful brown eyes. They stare at me, the corners scrunched up slightly in confusion as he flinches and grips his stomach. I trail my finger across his cheek, moving down over his lips as his brows furrow. 

"What happened?" I clear my throat and hold him a little tighter. 

"You passed out in Esai's arms, so I had Aiden come to check you out." I blink and look up; I didn't want him to see my eyes - I didn't want him to see me weak. Not when he needed me to be strong. I cough away the tears and swallow. "You were pregnant."

Jax's body stiffens. 

"What?"

"The drug must not have taken effect yet - but that was in the Claus of the contract."

"What do you mean, were pregnant?" I close my eyes and inhale.

"When Esai broke the bond, the stress became too much." I cough as I feel a tear fall. I look away from him and blink again, hoping he doesn't notice. 

"I lost our baby?" His whisper breaks me. I open my eyes to see him staring down at his stomach. He lifts his shirt and softly places a hand against his lower abdomen. His hand smoothes across the soft, flat surface before settling at the side where it stays. 

"No - it was not your fault!" His body trembles as he looks up at me with his clouded brown eyes and quivering lip. I place my hand on top of his stomach, just beside his hand and smile. I need to be the strong one.

"It's ok - although it hurts, we will try again in the future."

"Our baby." Jax breaks into a sob, and I break along with him as I clutch his head and bury it against my chest. I hold him tightly as he cries, his hands still clutching at his stomach as I bury my face in his hair and repeatedly kiss the crown on his head. 

"We will try again someday," I whisper this to him repeatedly, but I know the words can't break the shock or emptiness of our hearts.

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