Chapter 3
Reflections
Klaus
It was never my intention to make Magnus feel like I had abandoned him. I didn't understand how he could even think such a thing. Yes, I had been away for over two weeks and, yes, I was with Smitty. But Magnus knew Smitty was just an old war buddy. There was never anything going on there. Besides, Smitty didn't date men. I was looking to find us another job, nothing more. Since Magnus wanted a more exciting job than our last one, and Smitty was our boss for that job, I was sure Smitty could help me find something else. It wasn't an easy task, either. Magnus wanted excitement but that can also include danger. I did not want to put Magnus in danger. Why didn't Magnus understand that putting this type of job together takes time
I left Magnus in Dresden with my butler Jesse. Josephine and Suanquelle, my maids, were also there. Magnus had people with him that I trusted so I felt he would be fine. But my ex, Francois, was also in Dresden, and as soon as I was gone that slimy prick wasted no time making a move on Magnus. Magnus is gorgeous. Perfect in every way. Well...almost perfect, when he's not crying himself into a blubbering mess. Still, I can't help but be suspicious of Francois' motive for going after my boyfriend. Maybe Francois wants revenge since I decapitated his last lover. But, that was years ago, and Francois has never had a relationship where he was faithful to one person. Even back when I loved him, he was just a slut.
When I came back, and Jesse told me Magnus left with Francois, I wanted to kill somebody. But with no ready prospects in front of me, I climbed into a bottle of rum.
I took my anger out on the room, swinging my sword with all the fury that was in me. I slashed pillows and bedding, sofa cushions and curtains. Nothing was sacred while in my blind rage. Jesse cleaned it all up and replaced whatever was damaged...using my money of course. I didn't care. I have enough money to buy a dozen hotels and then some.
Normally Jesse would be mad at me, yelling and throwing a fit if I stayed drunk for days on end. This time, Jesse just cleaned up my messes, coaxing me to eat or drink some water now and then. I couldn't sleep...unless you want to call passing out a kind of sleep. That's when Jesse would wash off the vomit and change my clothes. Actually, I think Jesse believed I was going to die of alcohol poisoning.
I'm not sure how many bottles of rum I went through. I stayed in my room brooding over the fact Magnus left with that asshole, Francois. I had a deep desire to run Francois through with my sword just thinking about it. As for Magnus...part of me wanted to wring his fucking neck. But then, part of me really missed him. Then I got the invitation to join them.
Magnus
It was so boring without Klaus. I was eating and sleeping alone, and there was no one to talk to. Of course Jesse and Josephine came to my room every morning. Suanquelle was always off practicing loading and shooting muskets. She was positive she would have a job soon and make barrels of money. I rarely ever saw her.
Each morning Jesse gave me a shave, then picked an outfit and helped me dress. I still wasn't good at dressing myself. He would ask me about my plans for the day while he combed my hair. Was I going to have lunch and dinner in my room? Did I need anything? Every morning I asked Jesse if there was any word from Klaus.
The answer was always 'no'. It wasn't much conversation, but at least it was something.
Josephine followed behind Jesse rolling her cart into the room. She placed my breakfast on the small desk and poured my tea. She always straightened my bed, then tidied up the room. With that done, she left a clean towel and fresh water in the wash basin, then replaced the used chamber pot with a clean one. When done, she gathered my laundry and pushed her cart out to the hall, leaving the door open while she waited impatiently for Jesse.
I prefer bathing before bed, so if this was a bath night Jesse would come back to help me. Otherwise, unless I was eating in my room, I wouldn't see them again until morning. They spent their time meeting people and arranging jobs. I didn't understand why because Klaus paid them well. But, I suppose everyone wants to be rich.
I tried filling my days with reading or drawing. I even tried writing some poems, but they came out sounding too morose. I took walks in the hotel gardens, had afternoon tea in the gazebo and sometimes ate in the hotel dining room. Eating alone was depressing and left me with very little appetite. The nights were the worst. Without Klaus to read to me or cuddle me, I cried myself to sleep. Why hasn't he tried to contact me? I did not deserve to be treated this way. It was all so unfair. By the end of the first week my anxiety had grown into angry restlessness. At the end of the second week, still having no word from Klaus, I resolved to make a life for myself. Fuck him. If he cared so little then why should I care so much?
The following morning, after I was dressed and groomed, I informed Jessie and Josephine that I was going to be gone all day so they were free to do what ever they wanted. I decided to start with shopping. I had plenty of money of my own and it could last a long time, as long as I was careful with my spending. But somewhere along the way I was going to need to find a job. I was thinking Jesse might help.
I hoped to lift my mood by browsing the shops and maybe finding something new to wear. I did find a very nice dark rose colored shirt that fit well, so I purchased it. Next I went looking for someplace to eat since it was now past lunch. People smiled and nodded as I walked passed them. I smiled back but felt very isolated from the world. How could Klaus leave me in this foreign place I knew nothing about. What had I done to be treated so cruelly?
I spotted a tavern that promised food and drink so I went in. I found a seat at a small table and gave the barmaid my order. While I waited for her to return I picked nervously at my fingers. I was not used to navigating the world on my own. How was I going to survive this? That's when I heard the familiar sound...laughter rang out above the noisy crowd. I looked in the direction of the laugh and caught the person's eyes. It was Francois.
“Magnus!” he shouted, his smile lighting up the room. In a flash he crossed the room and was sitting at my table. “How nice to see you. Are you alone? Where is Klaus?”
“I don't know where Klaus is. I haven't heard from him in two weeks,” I said and started to cry. “I've been abandoned.”
“What!”
“Yes, it's true,” I sobbed. “We were supposed to tour Europe together. It was a vacation. But he has left and I am alone.”
“Only a fucking fool would do this to you,” Francois said, taking a handkerchief from his coat pocket and dabbing at my teary eyes.
He took hold of my hand and looked at me with those big, soft eyes. “Magnus, I can show you Europe. We can have a wonderful time together. How would you like to go with me?”
Suddenly my heart felt lighter. “Yes, I would like that very much,” I said.
Francois
I did not expect to see Magnus at that rowdy tavern, and certainly not by himself. It was a mystery to me how Klaus managed to secure the affection of this dark-haired, doe-eyed beauty, with his long lashes and pouting, full lips. I like a good mystery, so I asked Magnus why he was alone. His answer shocked me. I wondered how long Klaus has been neglecting this prize of a man. Magnus was openly upset and I was just the guy to comfort him. I am never one to let opportunity pass me by, so I offered to take him traveling. I was quite pleased that he accepted my offer.
After lunch at the tavern we went back to Magnus' hotel room. I helped him pack two large suitcases with his belongings, thinking the whole time what an asshole Klaus is. I smiled to myself knowing his loss was my gain. While I secured a carriage for us Magnus wrote a note to Jesse. I didn't bother to read the note. I could care less what it said. Knowing Klaus, I was sure he was going to return, eventually. I would have paid money to see the look on Klaus' face when he read it.
On the carriage ride to the villa I had rented, I held Magnus' hand. I told him we would go to Paris together. While I described Paris to him, I was imagining all the things I would be doing with him in my bed. We spent three days at my villa while I made preparations for leaving. During that time Magnus fell into my arms so easily. I was expecting a submissive guy, that I could pretty much do anything I wanted with. So far he had been like that.
But between the sheets he turned into a lusty, demanding lover that liked it rough. He often shoved his cock in my mouth saying, ‘Suck me first, Francois, then you can fuck me.’ Or, ‘Bite my nipples, Francois, and don’t be gentle’. Whenever I penetrate that sweet ass of his he calls out, ‘Harder, Francois. More’. He has even asked me to tie him to the bed. I had never considered tying up a lover before. Shit! I thought it was great. I was beginning to see why Magnus was attracted to Klaus...since I know Klaus can be quite the pervert when drunk. During the war, he used to carry a wooden dildo, a blindfold and some leather cord in a bag. The bag was always stashed in a saddlebag on whatever horse he was riding. Putting all these facts together, I found the whole situation intriguing.
We left my villa but didn't get very far. We were less than a days’ ride from Dresden when the sky let loose a deluge and the horses struggled to pull our carriage through the mud. We had no choice but to get a hotel room in the next town. It rained for the next four days without much let-up. I did my best to keep Magnus entertained but his restlessness increased as the days wore on. I was glad I brought plenty of whiskey to help me deal with Magnus' shitty mood swings, which kind of threw me off my game. But, Magnus is worth it to me so I’m not giving up. I’m willing to invest more of myself to ensure Magnus does not change his mind about our arrangement. Then, on the fifth day the rain finally stopped. We decided to wait a day or two for the roads to dry out before moving on. Magnus, however, had a different idea.
Magnus had written a note to Jesse and put an invitation for Klaus to join us in with it. Well fuck, what was I supposed to do now? We didn't even know if Klaus had returned from wherever the hell he went. I sure as shit didn't want Klaus here, but I wasn't ready to let go of Magnus. I really did want to see Paris with him, so I agreed to wait and see if he would join us. For the life of me I couldn't fathom why Magnus wanted Klaus to come here. Not when he cried so much about being abandoned. I just needed to step up my game and make sure Klaus leaves on his own. Yeah...that's what I'll do.
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