Thursday, late evening

Noah kicked off his shoes at the bottom of the stairs after greeting their new manager Tessa and his brother Adrian. He felt more relaxed after his conversation with Julia that evening. Knowing he wasn’t alone in his struggles—though different from hers—he felt like he found a real friend in her. They bonded over their mutual annoyance for society’s expectations when it came to dating, and Noah really didn’t have anyone else who thought so similar about the topic as she did.

As much as he appreciated Colin’s laid-back attitude, the guy had never shared his worries over being judged for their relationship. Most of the time, that had been exactly what Noah needed; someone who told him to stop worrying over others, and just do what would make him happy.

Still, being able to talk to Julia freely about all the downsides of not being default felt liberating.

But the whole topic was forgotten when he entered their apartment and found both his parents there. His father was seated at the table, hands in his hair, while his mother was angrily bustling around the kitchen, cleaning up after what seemed to be a baking disaster. It was dead silent, but the silence told Noah everything he needed to know; they had an argument.

“Evening,” he greeted them with a frown, which only increased when he didn’t get a reply from either one of them. “So…” he drawled, wondering how to go about the situation correctly. His parents hardly ever had fights, but this seemed like one. Not just any average argument. They were angry.

And Noah wasn’t used to that, so he didn’t know how to stop them from fighting.

Except distraction.

“Did I tell you guys I made more friends thanks to Layne? Because he’s friends with this girl, Julia, and she’s super smart but also super understanding and we had a conversation about not being straight and it felt really, really  nice to have someone to talk to about it. Not that she’s lesbian or so, she doesn’t really know. But she does get me and she’s just really cool.”

Noah had walked through the living room, into the kitchen to grab a bottle of water from the fridge. When he turned around, both his parents were sending him looks that told him they appreciated his story, even though he was mostly rattling up meaningless things to them.

His mother had stopped throwing around everything she got her hands on, and his father was now leaning his head on one hand, staring at him amused.

“What?” he asked, pretending not to know he just interrupted their fight, “she really is cool.”

His mother chuckled, and gestured for him to give her a hug, which he did. Apparently it had worked, and they started asking him some questions about his evening and about Julia, before his father got up, pecked a kiss on his wife’s cheek and told her he was heading back downstairs.

A silence settled, and Noah observed his mother’s behavior as she went back to cleaning up the kitchen.

“Experimental disaster?” he asked curiously, deciding on helping her when she opened the oven and he noticed chocolate dripping from the seams.

“I wasn’t paying attention.”

“Because of Dad?”

“We just had an argument. Don’t worry about it.”

“It didn’t really seem like an argument, though. More like a fight. You guys never fight, so why now?”

“Noah, honey, parents fight. But even though you did an excellent job being you and distracting us, it’s not your responsibility, okay? Now, tell me more about Julia. She sounds lovely.”

Noah smirked at the reminder of his conversation with Julia. “Yeah, she is. But if you think about the fact I met her because she’s friends with Layne, she just had to be nice.”

His mother nodded in agreement, smiling warmly. She grew fond of Layne’s humor and the way he instantly tried to befriend Noah. She appreciated his attitude, the fact he was a hard worker, and how he was always polite to them. “How was it to watch them hockey?”

“It was just practice. But it brough up some memories if that’s what you mean. But more in a way that I start to realize, no matter how much I miss Colin in certain ways, there were things I wasn’t happy about. His friends treated me well, but they weren’t my  friends. They were his. And they were kinda boring, to be honest.”

His mother chuckled and nodded again. It wasn’t a secret that his parents didn’t like Colin all that much. Sure, he was polite, and he was acting like a responsible adult most of the time. But Noah’s parents weren’t default, just like he wasn’t. They encouraged him and Adrian to experiment in life, make mistakes and learn from them. In their opinion, Colin was holding him back. But no matter how much they would love for Noah to just be a teen, it was more important to them that he was happy.

But talking to Julia that evening, and going out with them the week before, had made Noah wonder; had he truly been happy?

Noah didn’t think he was in every way. Sure, being with Colin made him feel good, and he was deeply in love with the guy so having him around always gave him a sense of happiness no matter what they were doing. But hearing stories about Santino, or having Layne tell him about the things he did, made him realize it was, in fact, plain boring.

Still, that evening reminded him of fun times with Colin, and it made him miss the boy even more. He still hadn’t done anything to reply to Colin’s like. He kind of wanted to reach out and see if they could at least still be friends and talk now that he wasn’t angry any longer. But he had no clue on how to do so. He was shy, when it came to Colin. It had been Colin who took the first step once his secret was out.

Colin had been the one to approach him, give him his number, and ask him out on a date. Colin had been the one to take the first step for their first kiss, for their having sex, for meeting the parents. Noah had allowed Colin to guide him in every step. He introduced him to his friends, he invited him to hang out with them. The thing was, while Noah lost pretty much all his friends and didn’t really have anything to share or guide Colin in, Colin had plenty of friends and was simply more confident.

Noah was scared that the like Colin had given the picture didn’t mean anything at all. That it was just him, being kind like he always was. He was scared that sending him a message would end up in more heartbreak.

Still, when he finished helping his mother clean the kitchen and went to bed, he opened Instagram, went to Julia’s page to watch the picture she had uploaded that evening of the two of them.

And the only reason he went there, was to see if any of his Pine Hill friends had liked it.

And when his heart skipped a beat to see Colin’s name in the list of likes, he knew he really wasn’t over him yet, and he really did miss him.

So, he sent him a message. A simple one, just, as a first step:

Noah: Hi