Andromeda leaves my apartment in no hurry. I scoop Shivrey in my arm and begin thinking about what I want now. The conversation made me remember things I did not want to remember. It is also now making me question what I want. Do I want to work again? Do I want to become the great General Jessica Averinus, "The Great Dragon Acer", once more? I keep little Shiv and I walk down the halls of my home. I've kept every portrait of my promotions along with the metals I have gained over the years. I remember that day very well, I was the best Acer of my generation. A true dragon I was called, sowing the seed of destruction everywhere my blade and I step foot. I was once a perfect general, a leader who had given and taken orders without question. The thought of the old days makes me sick.

I also remember the days of the academy fondly. Because that is when I met them, my proteges. Little monsters they were back then, I could never control them. Like my little siblings, my family. Oh Beolin would never listen to authority, Victoria didn't help she would just egg them on and everyone else, and Andromeda would do her best to end any fight she saw, whether it would require violence or not. I remember when I turned 18 I was given the choice of having my own squires. I ended up choosing three, I would take them everywhere and on every mission. But I always keep them safe. They were all just so young and I filled the role of big sister to them. It really must have hurt them when I abandoned everything just to lie in what I call peace here. I look at Shivrey in my arms and I wonder how long ago had I held them like this, how long has it been since we could be a family?

It must have been much before the war. Ah, the war, the cause of my destruction or the very thing that led to my retirement and the very thing that had killed the person I loved. Soren my darling lover, he was the light of my life. He was not an Acer but a mage and pretty damn good soldier, not as good as me but he was good. He was kind and did his best. I met him on a mission a year before the war. I had been injured pretty badly by a stray hollow, but Soren found me and nursed me back to health. Ever since then we were inseparable, even those three like him. He always was kind and tried to use reason and logic over bloodshed and violence. He served as my right. hand during the war.

The war was a cold and bloody one. Many people lost their lives, many good and young people were the victims of the empire’s bloodthirsty nature for power. But we were losing and our casualties were high. It was a wasteland of nothing but ash and blood, leaving not even a scrap for the rats to pick at. So the empire thought it best to send in the Acers, to send in me. So I fought, and fought, and fought until we were ambushed. It was a surprise attack that was at night, and the only light to guide our blades was the fire that was consuming my soldiers. My soldiers were only regular people as I was the only Acer in my squad at the time. While I was fighting, amidst all the chaos Soren was killed. It hurts to remember how it happened. All I can recall was going into a rage and I killed everyone. The enemy had already killed off my shoulders so I was the last one standing. That's when it surfaced…

I felt Shiv shift around in my arms when I looked down at her. I could see my arms covered in magic markings and so are the walls of my home. The details on my hands and walls look as if a piece of pottery has been shattered and put back together and the cracks painted green. The cracks run up and down my hands running all the way to my face, I rush to one of my nearby mirrors. My eyes are completely green and glowing just like the cracks surrounding my eyes. I fall into my chair once more in exhaustion, my house is still covered in cracks even if they are just magic. I want it to go away. Acers are not supposed to have magic. All mages who have undergone the ritual have died. I have no idea why I am like this now.

All I know is that this all surfaced when I went berserk on the battlefield. Magic is only inherited through blood relations. I can only guess one of my parents could wield psionic magic as it is the rarest form of magic. Sadly my newfound power has its drawbacks, it draws power from my mana storage, but I am an Acer so most of the reservoir is at least cracked due to whatever they do during the ritual. It is also linked to my mental state so it is a dead giveaway when I feel like shit or killing shit. The worse I feel the brighter it glows, it is really annoying. My magic is one of the reasons Asher still checks up on me, he is helping me learn and control my magic. I have to calm myself for the cracks to go away. He does recommend breathing exercises and the do work, for the most part.

Even though I don't approve of my new power, I still wonder what would have happened if I had found out about it sooner. Would have I been able to save everyone? Could Andromeda coming here may be a sign for me to right some wrongs? My eyes turned to my old armor which I made sure was still in good condition. It may be old but it is still being used the one I am looking at is one for war, not regular use. The one I wore for regular use is still in my closet along with my favorite and best weapons. I have mounted my broken and fancy ones on the walls of my house. Now I wonder if I should attend the meeting in the morning? I'm pretty sure Natalia would be there to debrief Andromeda. But would it even be ok for me to listen in? Let alone if it would be right to come out of retirement. 

I look at the small number of papers on the coffee table. They are all the approved paperwork for the restoration of my position of power. All of it is signed and ready for my final signature for me to hand in to the new general commissioner of this town. I have already thought long and hard about this choice. This could really change everything for me if I sign these papers. As I sit there and look at the papers I see Shiv bring me one of my pens clasped in her jaw, it takes me a few tries to get her to drop it but she does. I read it over the paper one more time, am I really going to do this? I might not ever get this chance again so I put my pen on the paper and sign my name Jessica Averinus. When I signed my name it felt like a huge weight has been lifted off my shoulders, as if something finally clicked within me. I finally woke up from my nightmare, and I could try to be normal again.