It was late when Ben finally returned. James had been waiting on tenterhooks for hours now. He knew how much Ben loved his Dad, and he knew how much responsibility Ben would feel to make things better for his parents. It was awful to have to sit and wait, when all he wanted to do was support Ben.
He'd been thinking about this moment on loop since his chat with Haruki earlier, but now that it was time to act all his preparation and practise had flown out the window. Jumping up off the couch, James quickly travelled the length of the room, pulling Ben into a hug. At first Ben stood still, rigid as steel, but after a few seconds James felt the other's tense body start to relax, and arms wrapped themselves around his waist.
After a minute or so James leaned back, placing his hands tenderly on either side of Ben's face and directing Ben's gaze up to meet his.
“You ok?” Ben gave a tiny nod, blinking water from his eyes.
“And Michael?” Ben nodded again, this time unable to force back the tears flooding his waterline. James caught the rapidly escaping tear with his thumb as it raced down Ben's cheek, an action that caused Ben to lean his head slightly into James's hand.
It broke James' heart to see Ben, his Ben, so sad and deflated, but it warmed his heart to know that he could be there to support his friend. No, the man he loves.
“You tired? Wanna talk about it or go straight to bed?” Ben paused for a moment, weighing up his options before answering.
“Let's talk.”
James took Ben's hand and lead him to the couch, sitting next to him and twisting his body in an attempt to better face the other.
“So,” James started. “I know the timing for this is really odd, but I think it might be good. I think.” He was starting to babble. Get it together James!
Ben said nothing, but continued to maintain eye contact; an act James had come to understand as encouragement to continue.
“I... I know we've just been treating this as a matter of convenience, and I've been ok with that, but I don't think I am anymore.”
Ben's eyes shot down to his lap, and James suddenly realised how his statement could have been interpreted.
“I spoke to Papa.” He quickly continued “He helped me realise that I deserve happiness, and it doesn't matter what, or who, brings me that happiness”
Ben's eyes slowly rose again, this time displaying confusion and... fear?
James took a deep breath
“Ben, you bring me happiness, and I think maybe I bring you happiness, too.” James reached forward and took Ben's hands in his own.
“I love you, Ben Stokes.”
James' heart was racing. Although he'd never declared his love to someone before, he felt pretty good about what he'd said. It felt like a huge weight had been lifted of his shoulders, and he could suddenly see an amazing future with his beloved.
Ben sat, unmoving, for what felt like an eternity, but the tears escaping his eyes seemed to pull him from his own thoughts. He pulled his hands from James'.
“I'm moving home tomorrow. We're done.”
****
James sat on his bed, exhausted from sadness and beginning to feel numb. The last of Ben's belongings, including James' own heart, had been removed from the house, and James was back to living alone in his most sacred space. It didn't feel sacred anymore. Everything reminded James of his time with Ben. The evenings they'd spent watching movies, the nights they'd shared squashed together in James bed, The bathroom that they'd first allowed their lust to control them.
It was over. A stranger had come into his life, brightened his world, and then simply walked out of it again.
It was almost the end of the school year, with only final exams to go, so at least James would only have to see Ben a few more times. Each time seemed to hurt James' heart more than the last, and Ben made sure not to make eye contact with him.
By the time the two graduated it was as if they'd never known each other, and as James watched Ben leave the ceremony with Mary and Michael, he took some solace in the knowledge that he would only have to feel his heart break at the hands of the man he loved one more time.
Haruki and Emilia were, somehow, more loving and nurturing than usual over the summer, and by the time James started his first year at University, he was almost grateful for his fresh start. He would get his Business degree, land an amazing job, and live a happy life. A life in which nobody knew about his humiliating heartbreak.
Well, Except for Jed. He was never going to be able to give that guy the slip.
The four years he spent at university were supposed to be long and arduous, but James excelled in his studies, finding most aspects absolutely fascinating, and made many new friends and business connections. It turned out that networking was one of his strong points, and he somehow managed to land himself an amazing job in one of the top investment corporations.
He'd achieved all that he wanted to in life. He was a new man, and he felt a million bucks walking into his first real job, wearing an expensive new suit that his Obaa-chan and Ojii-chan, Haruki's parents, insisted on buying for him. He had a good feeling about this.
James approached the
reception of his new office building with a smile designed to be
charming and memorable. By the look on the receptionists face he'd not done a bad job.
“Hi, I'm James Winton. I was asked to report here on my first day.”
“Ah! Good morning Mr. Winton.” the receptionist, Luke, greeted, clearly impressed with the confidence James pointedly exuded. “I'll let Mr. Stokes know you're here.”
Wait! Stokes?! Surely not. No. Why would he be here, after all this time? It's not him. It can't be-
“Ben?!”
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