“Time will tell.” Tunde says and I nod in agreement. He continues after a few seconds. " I won't argue with you on it. You're a mature guy and you know exactly how you are feeling. But wait, when you know that your feeling for her is infatuation or whatever, why did you act like you need help? You should have just held on to it.” Tunde says and I remain silent. He is right. How did I arrive at that word? I do not see it coming.

When we get upstairs, Tunde calls the kitchen and he orders food for us. Despite the fact that the food is my favorite, I am still not able to eat more than two spoons. All my thoughts are over her. I can’t get her immediate declination off my mind. Why on earth did she reject my offer like that? What? ‘Not to disturb me?’ That was a nice excuse. Is that not supposed to be my decision? Will I offer her a ride if I don’t want to? How is taking her home even a disturbance, it’s not as if her hostel is far. Even if her hostel is as far as heaven, isn’t it my job to decide whether I will go there or not. It’s not as if I want to take her elsewhere. I just offered to take her home to ease her affair. Well, not only that, I want the continuation of this morning chemistry between us. I want to continue cracking jokes to make her laugh genuinely like she did in the morning. But Why on earth did she reject the offer like that? Did I say anything wrong? Or did I present the question wrongly? I really feel like seeing her. I am missing her like I haven’t seen her in ages and the stupid feeling is annoying me. I drop the spoon I am using to draw a map of Nigeria on the food, I sigh and I lean my head against the chair.

“ Why are you not eating? Don’t you like the food or is the food not okay?” Tunde asks and I frown. Why on earth is he asking me that? It is fucking annoying.

“ Won’t I eat the food if it is okay? It is my favorite food for crying out loud.” I say angrily, I pick up my shirt and face cap from the couch and I stalk out of the room angrily.

“Ayo, where are you going?” Tunde's voice follows me and I bang the door. I don’t know why I am angry at him. The question he asked is a harmless question and I know he asked it out of concern but It still got on my nerves.

When I get to the elevator, I use a face mask and a face cap to disguise myself and I head to the bar downstairs. The bar is annoyingly crowded and I feel like chasing all the people out. I sit down at one corner and I signal to the waiter to come. I tell her to give me one bottle of alcohol. I really do not want to drink alcohol today. I barely got over yesterday’s own but my heart is so preoccupied by so many unnecessary thoughts. “I will not drink more than one bottle.” I say to myself and I put the bottle in my mouth. I dip my hand into my pocket, I bring out a packet of cigarettes. I take one out of it and I light it. I remove the face mask I used and I take a few drags one after the other.

This is getting out of hand. Normally, I don't smoke often or smoke at a public place in broad daylight like this but I can’t control myself. I need distraction. I need something to suppress this annoying urge to see her or else I might go crazy. I only smoke if I want to write songs. It’s not as if I enjoy smoking but it inspires me. I have been trying to quit because they say smokers are liable to die young but here I am again, smoking like an addict. This is unlike me, I only smoke one or half sticks but I have lost count of the amount of sticks I have smoked today. And I'm still not high. If care is not taken, I might finish two packets of cigarettes on this seat. Where on earth is Tunde? I need someone to stop me from harming myself.

More than 4hours later, Tunde shows up. “Where on earth are you since?” I shout at him.

“ I am somewhere around here watching you.” Tunde replies and I hiss.

“Watching me? So you show up after I almost killed myself uhn?” I say angrily.

“I know you more than anyone. I know you come downstairs to clear your head and I know you might cause problems for me if I push you further.” Tunde says and I give him a sharp look.

“Let’s go.” Tunde says and I stand up immediately. My legs betray me and I stumble. Tunde holds me and we walk to the room together.

When I get to the room, I am still not comfortable. I feel like there is something I am supposed to do that I have not done. I feel like calling her but I don’t want to, because that’s not what players do. Clinging on to a girl is not my thing so I find it weird. I hate it when girls become clingy on me, calling me up and down to check on me. I pick my phone and open my Instagram account. I upload one of my best pictures and I caption it. “The strong play games, the weak fall in love. I know what I just did makes no sense but I just want to re- assure myself that I am not in love with her, That I am not weak and that I am still a game master, as my friends call me.

"I need more cigarettes," I say to myself after staring at the uploaded picture and the caption for a few minutes. I stand up, I walk towards the shelf and I take another cigarette from my bag but before I light it, Tunde rushes to me and he collects it from me.

"Ayo, what's wrong with you, what are you doing to yourself? Have you forgotten how bad this shit is for your health? You don't normally take more than one or two at a go, but you have taken more than ten pieces and you still want more? Why don’t you call her on phone or go to her hostel instead of you to kill your fucking self.” Tunde shouts at me angrily and I roll my eyes.

"Who told you I am thinking about her," I murmur.

" You better don’t kill yourself", he hisses. He takes the remaining cigarette on the shelf and he leaves my room.

My eyes are spinning and my head hurts, I leave the sitting room and I enter the bedroom. I lie in the bed, I close my eyes and I sleep off.

When I wake up, my throat is so dry and painful as a result of the too much cigarette I smoked earlier. I take table water from the fridge beside the bed. I drink it all, I am not satisfied so I take another one. I drink half of the second one and I cover the bottle. I am so hungry but I don't feel like eating anything. I finally swallow my pride, I pick up my phone and dial her number. It goes through and she answers the call at the last ring.

"Hello", Her voice comes out of the phone and all my troubles sweep away. I feel relieved and happy. “So the solution to all my troubles is to just hear her voice?” I think to myself. I reply to her and I ask her how she is doing. Her voice is weak and raspy so I ask her if I wake her from sleep. I feel so bad when she says yes. I tell her I will see her in school tomorrow and I hang up. Happiness erupts from the bottom of my heart and my appetite returns in folds. I am so happy that despite the fact that she was sleeping, she still picks my call when she sees it.

I check the time, it says 11:05. I call the kitchen to order food. They bring it 30minutes later and I eat it with excitement. I call Tunde to check up on him, he tells me he is in his room and I tell him to come to my room. He says he will be with me soon and I hang up. I take my music book and pen and I start writing. My inspiration network is so good that I am able to draft a complete song within an hour . I expect Tunde but he doesn’t show up so I conclude that he is sleeping. I did my assignment perfectly, I lie on my bed and I sleep off.