After signing that paper, something clicked in my head that the way I have been living has been a mess. What the hell have I been doing the past three years? There are books scattered all across the floor, even some unwashed clothing. I am in awe of all of it, and I look at Shiv rolling around the clothes. Good gods, what the hell? There are even unwashed dishes in the sink, and I need to clean up.

I first need to tackle the books on the ground and the fact that they are everywhere. Thankfully I have enough bookshelves to keep them there. I picked up the first set of books, and I noticed their titles, all romance novels, and worse, most of them are erotica... I forgot I read these. I think I have plenty more stored in the capital. But I can't seem to remember how I got ahold of these. Everything has been such a blur for the past three years. Anyway, all the books are haphazardly scattered along the shelves. Some of them aren't even aligned straight. I'll deal with it later. For now, I need to focus my attention on the piles of clothes on the floor in my room.

I walk down the long hall that connects the living room to my room and a few extra rooms. Good gods, It smells. I turn to find a basket big enough to carry all of it to take them outside to wash. I am aware I could just use my magic to do everything instantly, but then there is something therapeutic about cleaning a giant mess, but it seems as if I am crunched for time to find my equipment. I am just going to have to use my magic to speed up the process.

It took me a while to get the hang of moving things around with magic. There were a few times when things just flew across the room, making a bigger mess. But I was able to clean everything up and sort my disgusting clothes so I may hand them off to Ida later. I was even able to finally unearth my old leather gear and my favorite field boots. My metal armor is not suited for standard fieldwork, so it shall stay on its stand in the back of my closet.

But something was shining in the back of my closet. I knew it was metal when I saw Shiv driving for it. She thinks all metal and shiny things are her toys, and she will add them to her own little hoard. She is a baby dragon, after all. But I noticed what it was when I took it from her: my old insignia, the mighty dragon. Only given as the highest honor. But the necklace brings me so many memories. I would wear it with my dog tags all the time, but I took it off one day and lost it… I look up and out my window and see that it is now dark. I really spent all day cleaning? I am impressed that I was able to focus for that long. But now I am tired, so I am just going to turn in for the night. Seeing that I was working in my bedroom, I am just going to snuggle into my bed until Shiv thinks it is a good idea to sleep on my face… Gods, she is like a cat. I pull her off and hold her in my arms, which she takes kindly to and snuggles me back.

I slept reasonably well, no worse or better than usual. The only difference is that instead of hearing the voices of death Acers. I saw a woman. Dressed all in white wielding a giant scythe and followed by a man dressed all in back wielding two swords. The woman only spoke softly and sounded so mournful of the dead. It was horrifyingly soothing. While the man only followed her and spoke only once to tell me he wished it would all end. That the nightmare would end. His voice sounded old and tired. Then at the end, they moth turned toward me, their eyes red from tears and their clothes turned tatted and bloody. The last thing I saw was them lunging at me and then I awoke. I sprung up out of bed covered in a cold sweat. Who are they...?

This is the first time seeing them in my dreams in a very long time. The last time was when I was in the hospital recovering from the war. It was what people call a waking dream, I saw the things around me but it was her, hunched over the dead, crying. When I got up to walk around the man was near the children holding their hands. They are an odd pair. But I do not have all data to ponder their existence. I have a meeting today.

I get out of bed and for the first time in three years, I put on my old gear for the first time in a while. I feel nostalgia but still, feel the joy to do this once more. Maybe Andra was right; I do need this. But as I walk by my dresser, I catch myself in the mirror. I have changed. I see that my once nice and neat tied-up hair is now long and flowing freely, letting my waves go. My hair was once a lighter brown, but now it has become darker, and I see only a few gray hairs. My eyes are still green, but they aren’t as bright as they once were. I have grown much paler. I guess I have stayed inside too much. I have changed in the last three years, and I don’t think I want to return. I think this is a way for me to move forward. I grip the hilt of my sword, and I feel some joy, at least, the joy of change. I pet Shiv goodbye, and I leave my home and walk down the stairs. Only to see Ida waiting for me, she holds a small plate of food for me. I hug her and take the food and eat it on my way to a new chapter in my life.

The sun shined brighter than I remembered. Is it because I am seeing things in a new light? All kinds of new thoughts flood my head as I still stand in the doorway. But like always, I push onward to my new job. I know where the Acer Noctius Headquarters is. Everyone does. It is a large stone building that almost looks like the town hall to someone just passing by. I remember that building well, only because of Nala and Natalia. Nala was like my mom, and Natalia was my Lieutenant General. Nala would take care of me and Natalia would give me orders. But that is enough remembering things I will have plenty of time later, I have a meeting to catch.