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Black Memory Part 4

So this is a dorm?

At least 2 people live here, it's an interesting living space. Yuki seems to enjoy it, yet he complains about the price. We’ve been talking for about 2 hours now and I feel as if I learned a lot with people’s speech patterns. Yuki talked about how he hates “stinky redditors” and his “body count.” He seemed proud of it and said how all girls fawn over guys who treat them like shit. Maybe Gato would like that? I don't want to be distracted with anything romantic though, Yuki made relationships seem like such a hassle.

Yuki also spoke about his life as an NYU sophomore student. He certainly enjoys it and he parties a lot. He says Gato, him, Celeste, and I all are a sub sector of the 9 person group we make up, with the other sector being four being led by Celeste’s partner. Yuki walked away about 3 minutes ago to answer something ringing, a strange piece of glass. It seemed so interesting, I think he called it a phone.

“Yo Prim.”

I looked at him leaning on the door frame, he seemed so uncaring. But then he tossed me a white box with an apple on it.

“That's a phone, I set it up for you and put me and Celeste's number in it.”

A phone huh, how nice of him.

“Thanks man!”

The time I spent here with him was fun since he taught me many new things about the world but now as he beckoned me towards him I knew he would teach me something different.

It was December 2nd 6PM, dark outside. As Yuki grabbed my arm we immediately teleported to central park, the place he said he enjoyed resting at.

Yuki pointed up,

“You see those stars?”

“I can't, the city lights are too bright…”

“Our goal for today is to make you see those stars.”

How would I be able to do that?

“I can’t just force my eyes to just see things that are hard to see.”

“Yeah but we can experiment to see.”

“See what?”

“You see, the vast domain that lies in front of us is a brutal void of vicious celestial bodies.”

He paused,

“I need you to see farther than anyone, regeneration on its own won't cut it.”

“How will I just randomly develop a new ability?”

“It's not random you see, your ability to see is inherently an extension of your regeneration, your ability as it is right now is just a drop in the ocean to how truly capable it can be.”

He pointed at my arms and told me to lift my shirt.

“My ability is recognizing there's more density at your arms and this specific part of your torso. If you forgot, the way people build muscle is by damaging them and building them back stronger in a way, your regen is no different.”

I think I know where he's going…

“So Prim, if we can tear our eyes out more and more until it regenerates, we can detect not only your rate of regeneration but also if it can improve sight.”

Every ounce of my soul denied him, but only one word escaped my lips.

“Okay.”

I don't know why I consented, maybe my resolve to find my past. I asked him the question.

“Do I look familiar to you?”

“No? Not really, your death that you described earlier is a very generic way to go, I don't think asking people is the way to find your past. Maybe remember things then gravitate to things that you remember.”

That seems like the right way to do it. Yuki duct taped my mouth and took out a switchblade and wiped it with a rag.

“You ready?”

I blacked out, I don't remember the pain after that but now my body refuses to let me near a knife. When I woke up my mind was tired and I still couldn't see the stars.

Another memory filled my mind, this one gruesome yet jumbled as well. A red dyed sky with a look alike to this Yuki person facing me as I look through what I assume to be holes in a mask. Giants emerge from the ground as the city burns to the ground. This is no memory, this isn't even a premonition, it's my mind fucking me. Not even figuratively at this point, I felt such pain with this in my eye that I could quite literally see red in my mind. Yuki and I fighting as the giants rage on and stomp on the city. Black clouds. Red sky. Time passes.

“Damn I was wrong… you think we should try more or?”

“No.”

Immediate response.

I wiped the blood off my eyes and as I walked down the streets, everything seemed brighter. My new eyes were just adjusting, or maybe? I look up, still nothing. I forced my mind to believe my choices were right and I can actually tone my body to improve after each damage like a muscle. Of course I was wrong, eyes are not the same as conventional muscles. My body will strengthen after each traumatic event, but my mind will deteriorate in the process…

Is this really worth it?

“Hey Yuki I’m gonna stop by this copyright free restaurant.”

“It's literally a M-”

“Please don't get me sued… I'll see you in a bit bro.”

“Aight I’ll text ya.”

We separated and I entered the bathroom of the restaurant after the cashier gave me a key. These difficulties swelled and I struggled to think clearly. Is this worth it? Are my memories really coming back? Do I really care that much about the person I was in the past?

I took out the key.

I stared.

…

“Do I really want to do this?”