AN: Hi Guys! I'm going to try and make up for the time I lost and give you guys a few new chapters for Past, Present, and Future! How about a throwback chapter to start off? Cas will be 17, almost 18 in the past memory.

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Friday came sooner than I would have liked it to. After closing the library Friday afternoon, I drove around to try and calm my nerves, which did the complete opposite. Every place I drove past I saw memories of Dean and I during our relationship, sneaking around because of our parents. My eye caught the record shop, and my mind flashed with memories.

"Wake up Cas, you've got shelving to do this morning!" Roger yells from his office. I'm jolted awake, my head pounding from the night before. For a second, I forgot that I almost had the crap beat out of me because I told my father that I was gay. But then it all came flooding back, and I remembered how I ended up in the back office of the record shop. Slowly, I stand up and put my clothes back on, carefully avoiding the already darkened bruises on my back and stomach.

"Cas, are you able to lift crates?" Roger asks, swinging his head around the door frame. "If you can't, I can call in Samantha-"

"No, I'll be fine, Roger. I'm used to Chuck's drunken abuse anyways." I say, then I turn around in fear. "Please, please don't report him. If he goes to jail, he'll tell John about Dean and I, and I can't let that happen."

"I made you a promise last night, and I don't intend on breaking it anytime soon. But have you talked to Hannah yet?"

"No, I haven't had a chance to talk to her since last night." I wince, walking around him. "I just need to focus on something that isn't the pounding headache that's forming in my head right now."

With a reluctant sigh, Roger hands me the crate, and because of my weakened state, it was heavier than usual. But because I wasn't going to let Chuck get the best of me, I lifted the crate and began to restock the classics section. A ring from the front of the store made me jump, and I froze when I see Hannah, Gabe, Sam, and Dean standing there. Silently, Dean walks up to me and grabs me by the arm, bringing me back to the back office and shutting the door.

"Take off your shirt." He says sternly, and my eyes widen.

"What? Is this really the place-"

"Take. Your. Shirt. Off." He says, and I tense. Hesitantly, I pull off my shirt, and I could see Dean's face contort with fury.

"I'm going to kill him. I'm going to find him and kill him-" He turns away from me and goes to open the door, but I stop him.

"No, Dean, don't go near him-"

"Why?! He beat you to a pulp, and you're going to stick up for him?"

"No! I'm not sticking up for him, Dean, I'm protecting YOU!" I yell, and I wince a little. "He told me that if I went to the police, he would tell everyone that you're gay, including your father. I couldn't let that happen."

Dean stand still, all of the anger visibly leaving his body. Without saying a word, he bent down and I felt his lips ghosting across my stomach. Exactly where my bruises were. My eyes blur with tears as he kisses every bruise across my torso and leading up to my chest.

"Dean..."

"I love you, Cas."

My nerves short as I try to process what he said.

"Cas, did you hear me?" His face, his lips inches from mine. "I love-"

I silence him with a kiss, not even caring that every nerve in my body was crying out in pain. "I love you too, Dean Winchester."

"Move in with me." He responds, and I laugh.

"What?"

"Move in with me. I took the money that my mom left me for college and bought an apartment on the other side of town, away from my dad. Come on, move in with me."

"Dean, I... I can't just leave my siblings there with them. I-"

"I already talked to Hannah, and she contacted Michael. Michael is going to contact CPS in a few days, and then Jody will take you and your siblings." He reaches his hands up to my face and runs a thumb under my eyes to wipe away the tears that were freely falling now. "You don't have to worry about him anymore."

Buzzing shatters the memory, bringing me back to the present. I grab my phone and see that I have a message from Dean.

Dean: Are we still on for tonight?

I take a deep breath, trying to steady myself as I type out my response.

Me: Yes, we're still on for tonight! Are we planning on meeting at Lou's?

For some reason, I felt like we were back in high school, waiting for our next meeting spot out of sight of everyone in town. we even had a special code in case someone took our phones and were snooping through them.

Dean: Yep. I have a question for you, though.

Me: Oh? I might have an answer.

Dean: How would you feel about taking a little road trip? There are a few places I want to take you to. If you don't want to I totally understand.

I hesitate with my answer, wondering if I wanted to do this. Where would we even go?

Me: I guess. Where would we be going?

Dean: That's part of the surprise.

I grin, feeling the normalcy of our conversation sinking in. Why was I making such a big deal out of this? We're both adults, we can do this without losing our minds.

Me: Okay, fine. I'll play along. Do I need to bring anything with me?

Dean: Nope, just yourself.

Me: Do I get a hint?

Dean: You never were good with surprises, were you?😂

I chuckle as I turn into Hannah's driveway to change out of my work clothes. That little turd. I see Hannah out in the yard with her dog, Marley. Flour covered almost every inch of her clothing and face, dusting her hair like snow.

"You look like you got into a fight with the Pillsbury dough boy and lost." I say, and she jumps, startling the poor lab.

"Jesus, Cas, you scared me. What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be on a date with Dean?"

"Not yet. I'm meeting him in like, an hour at Lou's." I say, checking my watch. "What are you doing here? Aren't you supposed to be at the bakery?"

"I-"

"Honey, its ready!" Jeremiah calls from the porch, holding what looks like-

"A pregnancy test?!" I shout, and Hannah shushes me.

"Could you be any louder?" She says, and my eyes bug out of my head.

"Are you pregnant?"

"I don't know, maybe. I'd have to, you know, look at the test to find out." She remarks, and I roll my eyes. Hannah and I meet Jeremiah on the porch and stare at the two lines.

"Oh my god, you guys are pregnant!" I say, and I give the two a big hug.

"Oh my god, we're pregnant." Hannah whispers, and I could tell that she was ecstatic, but she was also like me, taking a while to process things like this.

"Well, I will leave you guys to your celebrations. I have a date to get ready for." I chuckle, giving them one last group hug before heading into the house.

"Have fun!" Hannah shouts over her shoulder, bear hugging Jeremiah. I smile as I head into the house, my nerves still bouncing off of the walls. A shower and clean clothes later, I walk out to the Jeep and head out to Lou's. I smile when I hear Can't help falling in love by Elvis Presley pour our of the speakers, and my nerves begin to settle. My teenage years weren't the greatest, but at least I wasn't in the 60's, when it was illegal to be gay. I remember Dean and I, dancing to that song in our living room after we graduated high school, free from our parents and their scrutiny. My head was on his shoulder, his arms around my waist. By the time the song was over, we were still standing there, gently swaying together like trees in a breeze. I pull into Lou's, and I laugh when I see his 1967 Chevy Impala, still as shiny as the day he bought it.

"Still driving that old clunker?" I say, and Dean's eyes widen.

"She is NOT a clunker, Castiel. She is my pride and joy, how dare you!" He retorts, and I chuckle as I climb out of the car.

"Well, I will always call it your old man car. So, what's this surprise I can't know about?" I say, and Dean gives me a sly grin, rubbing his hands together.

"Take back what you said about Baby, and I'll gladly tell you."

"No! I can't do that, you know that!" I whine, and he laughs.

"Then you'll just have to wait and see!"

"Dean, you know I don't do well with surprises." I say as we climbed into his car. He doesn't respond, but just looks at me with the sly smirk he had given me just a few moments ago.

"I know, that's the best part!" He says. I look away from him, worried that my face was flushed. Why was I letting him get to me? This is just a get together, not a date. Or was it?

"Cas?"

"Hm?" I turn to see Dean looking at me expectantly.

"I asked if you like baseball."

"Baseball? When have I ever shown interest in baseball?"

"Never, but I think you'll like it after this."

I shake my head, confused. Were we going to a batting cage? He turns the corer, and I'm blinded by neon yellow. I see a sign that reads "Demolition Zone", written on caution tape.

"What is this?"

"I found it after I came home from Afghanistan. It's a place where you pay to break stuff. It's a great anger reliever."

I laugh as think about breaking things for fun, smashing glass and cracking wood. I wonder what they allow you to break?

"Why are we here?" I ask as Dean pulls into the parking lot. He stops the car, and turns so he's facing me.

"I'm not asking you to tell me about what happened, but I know that you're angry-"

"This is about Adam?" I ask, beginning to feel like this was more of a therapy session than a get together. I try to ignore him, but he grabs my arm and pulls me to face him again.

"Cas, I'm serious. I don't know what happened, and, honestly, I don't care. I brought you here so you can get all of that anger out. Whatever you're feeling, use it to break a whole bunch of random stuff." He smiles, and I feel the blush creep back into my face, warm and embarrassing.

"Okay, whatever you say, O Wise One." I joke. We get out of the car and head into the building. The guy at the main desk checks us in, giving us a side glance as Dean grabbed my hand excitedly, tugging me into the next room. I decided to let it go, because tonight I was going to lay it all bare. I was going to get all my emotions out all at once, rid myself of Adam for good.

"Whenever you're ready, ya'll can start." Carter recites, and Dean and I practically race to the closet where all of the objects were located. I grab as many glass or ceramic objects I could and placed them on the pedestal in the main room. Taking a sledgehammer from the wall next to me, I smash a ceramic vase to bits. Suddenly, I felt a rush of happiness surge through my body. Grabbing the next thing, I smash it to dust, and on and on and on, until I'm breathing heavily.

"How do you feel?" Dean asks me, smiling from ear to ear. I look at him, and I grin.

"Where was this place a month ago?!" I exclaim, and Dean lets out a deep laugh. I turn away for a second, feeling my face warm. One of the things that I loved about Dean was his laugh. Cas, STOP. You're getting attached, and you didn't want that, remember? Suddenly, I felt a rush of anger blast through me. Rushing back into the closet where the objects were, I grabbed some of the dusty whiskey glasses and made my way back into the room. I set them on the shelf, took a deep breath, and then unleashed all of my anger, my resentment, my heartbreak, and just smashed the glasses to pieces. I smashed and I smashed and I smashed until-

"Cas, stop! Hey, breathe. In...out...in...out. You need to relax-"

I pushed his hand away, needing to have space in between us. I run out of the building, ignoring the lazy protests from Carter at the front desk. Once I get outside, the cool air wraps around me like a comforting hug, and I sigh, clenching and un-clenching my fists. I hear the door jingle behind me signalling that Dean had walked out.

"Hey, what was that back there?"

"I'm sorry, but I can't do this." I say, swishing a finger in the air between us. "I thought I could, but I don't think I'm ready yet."

"Wait, Cas. Lets just talk about this-"

"No, Dean! I don't want to talk about it! I don't want to talk about how my boyfriend of four years cheated on me with the girl I used to call my best friend, how I lost my job, and had to come back to this shitty place all in a matter of three weeks! I don't want to talk about how seeing you makes it all worse because I'm reminded of why I met Adam in the first place!" I shout, and I realize that I'm sobbing at this point, hyperventilating. I wrap my arms around my waist and stagger back, my spine smacking the brick wall behind me. I fall to the ground, and I hug my knees as I sob. I feel Dean wrap his arm around my shoulders, and I don't even care enough to pull away. I sink my face into his chest, inhaling his scent of sandalwood and citrus. He rubs my back in soothing circles, and eventually I stop crying. I pull away, but Deans arm remains around my shoulders.

"Do you feel better?"

"Please just take me home."

"But-" Dean protests, but he silences himself when he notices the shakiness of my hands and my slowing but still fast breathing. He helps me up and we walk back to the car in silence. For the remainder of the ride home, the radio is the only source of noise, and I want to bang my head against the window. Why do you do this? You sabotaged this whole night because you couldn't get your shit together, Cas. You were having a good time, you were enjoying it.

Why?

Because I can't.