Chapter 9- Milk Tea

Home sweet home. I never thought I'd come back here in a million years. I don't look at this house and think of unforgettable memories. But I can't deny that my mom did make fantastic food and made excellent milk tea. Those are the memories I like to remember. I got out of my car. I had to be about 2 hours from home. I turned my phone on to do not disturb. This is a getaway. I walked up the steps of my childhood home. I wasn't ready to see my mom. I hadn't seen her in years. What if she hated me or something? I knocked on the door, gulping. I miss my mom, but I don't miss the nasty side of her. The ruthless side of her. The selfish side of her. The side of her who didn't give a crap about her daughter. The door slowly opened, and when the door opened. I saw my mother. My mom.

Her smile beamed wide as she still looked as young as 24. "My baby, my only baby at that!" She pulled me in for a hug. This felt fake. She was always like this. Loving at first, and then the second she has a little wine, she's the worst person you'd ever see. But I still smiled at her. I smiled at her because I loved her. I stepped into the house, and it still looked the same. "I'm so excited you're here. I haven't seen you in ages!" She said, going to the kitchen. I followed her. The same sink. The same sink. That was the sink she washed the blood off her hands in. "Mom, it smells like you're making milk tea in here!" I smiled, leaning over the counter. She replied, "Surprise, Surprise!" I sighed. "Mom, I need to talk to you! 'Ve been stressed about something, and you're the only person who can relate to my situation." She nodded, pouring my milk tea into my cup and adding the boba.

"Let's sit down!" We sat on the couch where she gave me lectures about how I was a wh*re for getting pregnant so young. She sat down, taking a sip of her tea. "So Asher cheated on me with his assistant at work. I found out when I saw her undies on the floor!" I said, taking a sip of my tea. It tasted absolutely the same. But every time I take a glass of her milk tea, I remember when she tried to poison my milk tea just because I said I was moving in with Asher. "I always told you that boy was no good! He always looked like a womanizer, it was mother's instinct, but teens rarely listen!" She responded. I slightly nodded. "I didn't go on psycho, I just wanted revenge, so I killed her." My mom almost looked like she was going to choke. "Violet Hadlee Scott, what were you thinking? I don't even know what to say. Please explain how you did and what exactly you did to her!" My mom completely ignored her tea.

 "I went with my friends; I made sure everything was covered. Everything that could potentially give the police my DNA> I went inside and stabbed her in her sleep. It was peaceful." My mom rubbed her temples, "Okay, but can I just ask why you decided to follow in my footsteps? Do you know how long it took for me to get rid of the guilt?" I nodded my head, taking another sip of tea. I said, "That's kind of why I came here. How do I feel like I'm not a bad person every moment of my day? How do I make the visions of her body stop? How do I get rid of the guilt and the feeling? I feel like I've been so stressed since I've done it!" My mom got up from the couch, stretching her legs. I heard a timer going off. "Hold on, babydoll, that's my birth control reminder!" She ran off into another room. I didn't know my mom was still going at it, but some people like it old. 

She sat back down, "Baby, I would love to help you, but I think that I suffered the same guilt as you. MY guilt could be healed because me killing your dad was an accident! You intentionally killed this woman over a man who decided to be unfaithful to you! That's messed up! But I can tell you what may help! I got visions of your dad's body, I felt like a horrible person, but I came to terms that what happened to him wasn't my fault!" I felt my anger rising; Asher was faithful; he got tricked by a snaky conniving snake named Audrey, but I pushed that aside because I was worried about bigger things. All my life, I knew my mom killed him, but what did she mean by accident? When she came to the house washing blood off her hands, that didn't look like an accident. 

"Mom, I've been asking you my whole life, how did my dad die? I've asked you what you do to my father. You don't ever tell me!" 

I saw my mom's anger rising, "Your dad was involved with a lot of bad people! He was involved with gangs, and he owed money! He took all his anger out on me. We were on our way for dinner, and then we were stopped by these cars cornering us! They forced us out, and they gave him an ultimatum. He either had to repay them with me, they were going to take me away and probably kill me, for god sake, or he had to die in front of me. I was surprised when he chose to die, he never loved me, but I guess he loved you and knew you couldn't survive without me! He chose his death. But those gang members were cruel. They gave me the gun. They told me to pull the trigger. They told me to kill my husband. I wanted to close my eyes. They made me open them. I shot him. I shot my husband. They ran off, leaving me at the scene. I ran to his body, trying to save him, trying to check for a pulse. His body was cold. His heart wasn't beating. His blood was on my hands. I cried at the scene. Cried for hours. Now you tell me? Would you tell that story to a child or to an undeveloped teen who was busy messing around with anyone and anything?"

She began sobbing. I felt like I wanted to weep. I Ran over to her side of the couch and hugged her. I hugged her tight. She maybe wasn't the best mother to me as a child, but she loved me. She was traumatized. "I'll tell you how to get rid of the guilt. You don't. You accept the fact that you did it, and you do everything that makes you happy. You need to accept it. Think of guilt as a learning experience. You accept it, and you will learn things about yourself." She tried to say, keeping her tears back. I held my mom so tight. And I made sure that we both ate fantastic food and drank a bunch of milk tea.