“Mom! You’re here at last! I’ve got something to tell you, mom!”

“I was under the impression that you were tired from what Aunt Joanne told me, but you’re clearly one little ball of energy –”

“Mom, you have to hear this right now, you absolutely have to hear this!” Lorraine continued to jump and tug her mom’s sleeve, paying no attention whatsoever to Dylan’s comment. 

What was happening was hard to believe. Fate had gifted Lorraine a chance to save Charlotte, after which Charlotte, without any doubts, would be forever obliged to her younger sister. After Margaret and Martha left, she spent the few minutes remaining until her mom’s return pacing back and forth on the porch. 

Ten minutes before lunch, Lorraine and her mom returned downstairs, Lorraine trying to fake her satisfaction. In fact, the conversation didn’t go nearly like she expected, but her plan could still work – all she needed was to talk to Charlotte. Her sister, however, had not yet arrived. Aunt Alice, whose face seemed to have emanated nothing but pure joy ever since yesterday’s arrangement, now switched for a rather concerned look.

When it was 2:25 according to the small analog clock standing on top of the refrigerator, Lorraine was asked to call Dylan downstairs. At 2:27, she again called Dylan downstairs, then washed her hands, and sat down at the kitchen table which was rather crowded with chairs, only three of which were free. She realized that she would have to postpone the conversation with her sister until after the meal. At 2:28, when Aunt Alice decided it was her turn to call Dylan, she suddenly decided that it would be better if Eugene and Charlotte would be late. Ashamed of their behaviour and disciplined by Aunt Alice, Charlotte would probably be less brave to decline her offer. 

At 2:29:30, Dylan finally came downstairs, complaining of his fatigue from work and the military-like rules that his mom created in the household. “No wonder your cousins can’t get here on time, if you’re setting such a poor example,” Aunt Alice, who followed right behind her son from upstairs, scolded him.

At 2:29:50, Lorraine leaned back peacefully in her chair. Eugene and Charlotte were going to be late. She would have the reputation of an only obedient child, keeping in mind how long it took Dylan to arrive. 

However, at 2:29:53, Dylan pointed to the window, and Lorraine gasped as she saw Eugene and Charlotte jump off the fence and hit the ground running towards the back door. When the clock showed 2:30:00, they were already inside the kitchen, panting. 

“What a punctual crew you two are,” Lorraine’s mom noticed.

“It’s not – that,” Eugene replied, huffing and leaning against the refrigerator. “It’s just – that we – stay true – to the – orders.” He then saluted Lorraine’s mom and repeated his movements now facing Aunt Alice. Charlotte mirrored him with only a small delay. The adults laughed. 

Clearly, the thirteen-year-olds managed to earn the adults’ liking from the situation. Lorraine gritted her teeth and started on the tasteless soup.

***

“... And so you should instead move to live with us and save all of your children from being sick and ugly,” Lorraine finished.

Charlotte put her head onto her hand, the elbow leaning on the table. “It worked!” Lorraine thought, but then noticed that Charlotte was… laughing?

Her sister looked up. “Et tu, Lorraine? (1)” she said.

“What?”

“I mean, ‘and you, Lorraine?’. It’s not that I’ve never heard any rumors of me dating and planning to marry Eugene, but to hear them from you was quite unexpected. How did such an idea occur to you?”

“Margaret and Martha told me everything. Besides, I could’ve guessed it myself if I thought about it a little longer.”

“But we aren’t in love, Lorraine,” Charlotte replied. She seemed to be somewhere between crying and bursting into laughter. “I mean, I love him as a brother – or rather, a cousin – actually, still as a brother. However, I don’t like him romantically, and neither does he.”

“Of course he does!” Lorraine objected. “He was always planning to marry you later, and then yesterday, he realized that you were cousins in real life and couldn’t get married, and so he immediately fainted! And now instead of getting as far as you can from him, you’re moving to his townhouse!”

“Lorraine, that’s not why Eugene fainted yesterday.”

“You’re wrong; it is! Why else would he faint?”

“Let’s see,” Charlotte scratched her forehead. “For the last week or so, we’ve been simultaneously doing our house chores – and I’m serious when I say there are a lot – and helping this one little boy’s grandma pack up to move. We’ve also devised plans to protect this boy, as well as some other children in his neighborhood, from local bullies. Now, while I knew when to take a break, Eugene would always stay at our task, forgetting to eat, drink, and probably even sleep sometimes. Then yesterday, we were in a fight with the bullies, and knowing how harsh Aunt Alice can be with punishments, he was extremely worried, so we rushed back but still failed to tell her what happened before she got a call about the fight. So hearing that we were actually related was the last straw for him, not the main reason why he passed out.”

“That’s what my mom also said,” Lorraine replied, “but I still don’t believe you.”

“Well, believe anything you want; I won’t get into your way. And while I’m thankful for your invitation, I’m firm on my decision to stay here, with the part of my family I know well already.”

Lorraine only had one other argument.

“You shouldn’t be so careless while your friends Margaret and Martha worry about you,” she suggested.

“Do you seriously think they worry about me? Well, then you probably should know that Margaret carried the smartphone in her blouse's pocket for the sole purpose of recording Eugene fainting with the smartphone in her pocket yesterday and spent all evening and all morning running around and showing the ‘irrefutable evidence’ of our romantic relationship to anyone who would listen. Eugene and I were held back only due to explaining how things really were to everyone who asked.”

“Uh-huh,” Eugene, who has appeared in the doorframe, confirmed. “We should definitely do something about these rumors. I’m not looking forward to having conversations about the difference between romantic and familial love for the rest of my life, you know.”

“I think I have a plan,” Charlotte said, “but it should be our last resort. You definitely won’t like it.”

“Let’s hear it anyway. Maybe it’s not as bad as you think.” 

Suddenly, Lorraine’s mom’s voice came from downstairs. “Lorraine, I need your help with something!” 

“Why don’t you go?” Eugene suggested. “I’m afraid that what we’re about to discuss isn’t intended for your ears anyway.”

(1) “Et tu, Lorraine?” mirrors “Et tu, Brute?”, the Latin phrase presumably said by Julius Caesar when unexpectedly, his alleged friend Brutus betrayed him.