Loud, it’s what the food park is besides its aesthetic. The sounds of the staff working in the kitchens, the customers chattering within themselves and the sounds of the waves hitting the shore. Nora didn’t mind the volume, knowing that such things were uncontrollable to counter with. But she yearns for the quiet.

It’d be easier to organize her thoughts if everything were muted down to silence. Nora would’ve had an easier time trying to decipher the mix feelings of guilt and excitement churning his stomach.

The food on front of her would look more appetizing if she wasn’t struggling with her emotions.

“Are you okay?” Julia asks after a moment of nothing.

Nora immediately answers, “huh? Ye-yeah, just that this is going to be my second time eating Korean food and, well, I’m still not used to it.” She stares at the tteokbooki and fish cake, overwhelmed by the large platter they were placed with and wonders how a snack became one of the most expensive things in the menu.

Julia chuckles, however, taking pictures of the food before roping Nora along with her for a selfie. Nora could only present a small smile, forced with an obvious sense of discomfort drawn on her face.

But despite the lack of enthusiasm, she has on the pictures. Her eyes gravitated to Julia, beautiful and poise. Her date wore a red dress with a slit, exposing her muscled legs. The short sleeves ruffles at the end and the patterns on the chest and collarbone was done out of lace.

Nora was also fascinated by Julia’s buzzcut and boots for the occasion.

Julia was overdress for a simple date such as this one and Nora feels like she was competing over an expectation she can’t win against.

“You’ll get used to it, soon,” Julia reassures her with a kiss on the cheek. A light brush of lips on her skin and Nora reacts with a slight flinch, refraining from dodging away from the contact.

The hand on her shoulder tightens. Sharp nails digging through her sleeve. So, Nora angles her face better for Julia’s lips to land on her cheek – to actually feel it. With her teeth biting her tongue, Nora listens to a moan; a contrast to the plea she chants in her head.

Remembering the kiss, she receives from Lily.

Fuck, why was she acting like this?

It’s not like Julia change drastically when meeting her in real life. But there was an air that couldn’t be emulated through the block of texts Nora reads on her phone. An urge to stiffen her movement, to constantly glance around her surroundings and made sure that contact with Julia was limited as possible.

Well, the last part was harder to practice when Julia could hardly keep away from Nora.

Nevertheless, she tries. Even if only an inch was left for Nora to breathe in.

“Soon?” Nora engages with the conversation, curious but also the dread the expected. As she enters the food park with Julia in sight, she can’t help but feel trapped. Like a cage she enters without warning and the key was in the other’s grasp.

“Well, we’re going to meet quite often after this cutie,” Julia tells her, like a matter of fact, and Nora nods. Because, of course, it’s the reason why she’s here in the first place.

“Yeah, I like that,” Nora answers back, quietly. Like a gasp of air.

Fortunately, Julia didn’t seem to notice. Mostly preoccupied with the pictures she’s uploading to her social media accounts; with captions she took from the internet.

-

“What?” Nora repeats, dumbfounded by the demands from Julia.

Her online date shrugs. “I thought it’d be great if you could chip in with the drinks for everyone. Besides, you’re going with me, right?” Julia’s words were laced with guilt. A frown decorated her face, the melancholy that merely shows through the creases and wrinkles.

Her eyes glints with something else, however.

“Of course!” Nora exclaims, trying to alleviate the situation. Noticing the arms crossed on Julia’s chest, so did her legs. Their height might’ve been close to each other but the aura Julia radiates causes Nora to feel small.

Julia looks down at her and Nora slouches, gulping down on the disappointment expressed by her soulmate. “So, why are you hesitating then?” Julia questions, “I thought you wanted to be with me.”

“I do,” Nora answers, desperately. “I just thought you guys have already collected the money to hang out and all.”

Her date sighs, loudly. The server cleaning up their table glancing to her side from the corner of his eye, then to Julia who seems unaffected by the attention. Their conversation has also spread across to another table and Nora grits her teeth at the volume used for the discussion.

They did whisper but Julia just raised her voice to get her point across. And Nora follows.

“Listen,” Nora starts off with a whisper. Julia narrows her eyes, the edges of her mouth curves down – almost to a frown. “I expected something else to happen tonight and I understand if things don’t go to where I wanted to. I complied with your idea in meeting up with your friends but the money I have for the evening was just for the two of us.”

“Nora, we spent most of our allowances with our research papers,” Julia whines instead. Her intimidation instantly drops and Nora was faced to see a pout on his date’s face. “We want to celebrate on completing it before we faced our second oral defense.”

It was the excuse Julia use for their arrangement, both in chat and in real life. Fortunately, hearing it feels different, the worry and humility Nora associates with dissipate and in exchange was the cunning and sly maneuver Julia was playing.

Wow.

“Just wow,” Nora murmurs.  

But the sudden grip on her wrist, deviates her anger from Julia to herself. It tightens and Nora tries to ignores the throbbing sensation as Julia presses down a vein.

Oh, yeah, Julia’s a nursing student.

“Nora,” Julia calls out to her, “someone also rented a room with a karaoke machine but they didn’t have enough to pay in advance. Can’t you be a dear for me, cutie?”

Cutie, the nickname echoes in her head. But the sweetness she initiates it with, disappears. She stood up from her chair, dragging it behind her and garnering the attention of other customers. Julia lets go as multiple of pairs of eyes aimed at them, either curious, annoyed or whatever. Nora founds an exit and slips out of the table once Julia’s grip was loose enough to let go.

Julia shouts her name and Nora ignores her. Instead, she hastily exits the food park, not once looking from behind nor does she wonder if Julia regrets her action.

Guilt did reside in her heart, unfortunately. She humiliated Julia in front of many people and gossips travels quicker than Nora entering the boulevard. The food they ate were already paid and so if Julia’s words were true, her former date wouldn’t have to sell her expensive-looking dress to pay back the amount.

“Nora?”

Nora snaps her head, moving along to the direction of the voice and approaches two people sitting down on the seawall. “Lily,” she says her best friend’s name, relieved at the sight of Lily sipping coke from a plastic bag while holding a cup of kikiams.

Janice was there as well but Nora couldn’t be bothered to stray her attention away from her best friend. And with little energy she has left, Nora runs and welcomes Lily into her arms.

“Nora?” Lily repeats and Nora just chuckles, listening to someone else saying her name feels right.

She looks at Lily, breaking the awkward tension with a grin on her face. A relief she felt as her back was lifted off from the extra weight she carries and sat down on the seawall beside her best friend.

“I fucking run before I personally become a walking ATM machine,” she blurts out with a burp, the acid from her food hasn’t been fully digested yet and the tteokbokki and fish cake were mostly finished by her too.

“Damn, she bad,” Janice chimes in.

“The worse,” Nora comments.