Thursday, January 30th

Hands gripped tight to each thigh, holding him up as his bare back pressed into the cold, concrete wall. Not that Eden could tell it was cold, since his body was on fire, sweat covering his forehead and dripping down his neck. A tongue gently licked from Adam’s apple to chin, then teeth bit at his lower lip.

“What if someone comes in?” Eden asked between heavy breaths, finding it difficult to speak as he clung desperately to the broad shoulders in front of him. His eyes darted around the dark classroom in a panic, trying to remember if they had locked the door.

“Oh? You like to watch, but you don’t want to be watched?”

The voice was slightly deeper than he remembered and paused every few words, the man’s concentration focused on the forceful rhythm of his hips. Eden cried out as the hands spread him wider and his body plunged downward. Any worries about intruders disappeared in an instant.

“Shit,” he choked out, half word and half groan. He shook with pleasure. Between the hard pressure inside and the constant rubbing against the man’s firm stomach, there was no way he could hold out any longer. “I’m... gonna... come.”

The last word barely escaped his lips before he felt sweet release, a warm stickiness covering them both, and he went limp in the man’s arms.

With a sharp breath in, Eden shot up, sheets and blanket thrown from the bed. The room was dark except for a thin stream of moonlight through the window and he stared out, taking a deep breath to calm himself. After a few moments, he slowly looked down, then let out a low, bitter laugh.

I’ve lost my fucking mind. I’m having wet dreams now? What the fuck is wrong with me?

He had to do something about this, but he had no idea what. He couldn’t continue to get this way every time he thought about that beautiful man, but he also couldn’t seek him out and beg him for sex. Just the thought of that made him nauseous. What other options were there?

After cleaning himself and tossing his dirty boxers into the corner, he grabbed his phone and sat on the edge of the mattress, slumping over as it rang in his ear.

“Yeah?” The voice on the other end was a bit groggy.

“Dean? Did I wake you?”

“No.” An obvious lie. “What’s wrong?”

“I know it’s late, but are you free? Can I come over?”

“Yeah. That’s fine.”

“Okay. I’ll be there soon.”

The call disconnected and Eden let out a guilty sigh. Their relationship was already mutually superficial, one that used each other to satisfy their needs, but he’d never used someone like this before. He knew if he went over there, Dean wouldn’t be the face he saw. And maybe he still wouldn’t be content. But right now, he couldn’t think of anything else.

With another sigh, he forced himself up and began rummaging in the dark for clean clothes.

“What is with you?” Dean asked as he lit a cigarette and took a puff. “You’ve never wanted to do it that many times.”

Eden laid on his back, sprawled out on the dirty blanket, wet and sticky and exhausted. Everything from stomach to thighs was sore but at least his thoughts were slightly clearer. Staring up at the dingy ceiling, now dancing with shadows, he could only shrug.

“I was horny.”

“Yeah.” Dean wasn’t convinced and inhaled some more smoke, blowing it out slowly. “Was it that guy? From the restaurant?” There was a quick pause and with some reluctance, he asked, “Are you fucking him?”

“What? Of course not.” Only in my warped, perverted mind. "I wouldn't hide something like that from you."

"Yeah." He was still hesitant and Eden couldn't blame him for asking. “Then do you want to fuck him? Because you sure as hell weren’t fucking me tonight.” Apparently Dean wasn’t as dense as he thought. “I saw the way he was looking at you.”

The last sentence sounded dejected and Eden felt the guilt again. Their relationship was open and purely physical, but it was still wrong to use him in place of someone else. He didn’t know what to say and just sighed.

Dean stood, stabbing his cigarette into an ashtray by the bed. “You’re not mine, so do what you want. But don’t do this again.” He didn’t look back and scratched at the now sweaty mess of curls on his head. “I’m going to take a shower.”

Eden was motionless in the dim quiet, listening to the spray of water and scolding himself for acting like such a child. It had been a long, terrible day, full of stupid mistakes, but this was the end. He needed to get his shit together.

Shifting to the edge of the bed, he hunched and stared at the carpet as Dean stepped out of the bathroom. Before he could raise his head, a towel covered it.

“Go wash up.” The tone sounded less upset than before. “It’s late. Just sleep here and leave in the morning.”

He pulled the towel away and saw Dean standing above him. His expression was a mix of frustration and disappointment, but there was also a kindness Eden hadn’t noticed before.

“Sorry.”

With a low hum, Dean walked over to the other side of the bed and pulled the dirty blanket off, then climbed under the sheet. He didn’t say anything, rolling onto his side to sleep.