The tribulation of being stuck between two choices is somehow egregious and unyielding. To jeopardize one's sake nor to sacrifice myself enable for the other person to live is doubtful.
However, by the thought of fact that the person I'm referring to is my own mother, from where I came from. That factor made it more complicated. If I'd choose to live a curseless life then it means, I'm a selfish and unfilial daughter. On the other hand, If I'd choose to immolate myself It's like I'm offering myself to death.
One decision can lead to venture either one of us, and yet where does freedom nor salvation lies upon this perilous times?
As the autumnal leaves lies itself to the ground, the breezy wind by then blew it hard and flew away from us. Nesii and I has been walking for hours, trying to make a way out of this intimidating expanse of trees.
Our feet were shuffling through detritus, the chatter of the wind within the ambiance around us was so entertaining, as well as, little creatures rustle—rooting in underbrush, watching us walking along path.
"How many days have you been wandering around this place?" I asked , as my fingers played with each other.
"I've been stucked for a month and a half in here, plotting to know the right way out. This forest is like a maze, filled with deceptive paths." his hand ran through his hair, smiting a charm look.
"That's so long... how did you survive?"
"I used to live in forest before, so I kinda know ways of survival upon such difficult times," a genuine smile was painted on his face, toning the calm voice he have.
The bushes shakened in sudden, we stopped in our track. Nesii jump right to my back, his bones must be chilling in fear right now. A few moments passed, and a white little rabbit revealed herself, jumping teasingly passed by us. Well that kinda gave me a breath of relief, I thought it would be a dangerous species.
I chuckled with the indescribable humor plastered upon his terrified face.
"What are you laughing?" he asked with a deep dissapointment with himself.
"Nothing, you just look funny." He rolled his eyes, which made me squeak in laughter. I mean he just looked so cute rolling his eyes.
"What's your problem with me?"
"Nothing you just look cute," I uttered frankly, and bounced, making me a meter further from him. Luckily, he catch up with me pretty quickly.
"Thank you," I low-key sent my gratitude.
"For what?" his brows raised in confusion, waiting for my explanation.
"For making me somehow smile, despite of filling myself with worry."
Hence, I never forget the prior thing I'm suppose to decide but, atleast for the time being someone took me to escape that dilemma.
"You know what?"
I bent down and took one leaf to play with my hands.
"Hmm?" my eyes darted to the leafy path, as my hands were tearing the leaf I picked on the ground.
"I'd like to marry you if I were just younger like you," my head turned quickly and met the serious state of his sparkilng eyes, that's ready to melt me in any moment.
"Why?"
"You're undeniably beautiful, nice, smart but mostly, you're brave. Despite of everything you've been through your life, you remained sturdy like a bamboo— the wind is unable to take you down."
I told him everything, what happened to me on why I am here, and what happened the time I cried on his shoulders.
A bitter smile was drawn on my face, in the depths of my eyes, memories rewinding in a fast pace as tears started to form in my eyes. I then wiped it quickly and stand upright.
"Don't cry, strong people don't cry. Be tough!" A grin escaped my mouth, afterwards, I pursed my lips and bit the lower portion of it.
"No, you're wrong. If crying identifies whether you're strong or not then, weakness shall not exist. We all are being strong for a certain reason does that mean, we should not cry when every single emotion bleeds your heart for coping with everything?" Silence put an awkward atmosphere between us.
"We are just human, we get tired, we get hurt and is never perfect, so if you feel like crying, then do so—just exist."
"Would you like to marry me? I'll make sure to make you the happiest" my lips lifted into a smirk and stirred my vision back to the path.
"Let's go, it's getting dark."
We spent the entire day making our way out the forest, we didn't let the tiredness to urge us to procrastination. Rather, we're much focused on that one goal and that is to successfully get out of it, and we did.
Fortunately, I memorize the path since we came there. It took me and mom an hour to arrive on the Solvania Villa with a cab and took me and Nesii almost 5 hours to get out from it by our both feet put on work.
I stoop down the road watching the aesthetic movement of vehicles running along the roads, with red and yellow vivid lights along them.
"Where's your house? I'll take you home" I lifted my head to meet his gaze.
"I don't have one."
"You can't be kidding me, don't worry I won't be a creep." I stared at him immensely, without a single blink nor a flick of my lashes.
"Oh, so you're not joking" I just nodded and smiled but without having my eyes wrinkled for gladness. It rather means— smiling not trying to spite their wrong thoughts.
The moment mom had decided to moved upon the risk she thought would have come. The house we used to live is probably now sold to other client, that was just a simple apartment we used to rent.
"Well, you can stay in my house for the moment. I live alone." a smile of genuinity with pity within his eyes reflected on his face.
"Thank you, don't worry I won't be long either."
A limousine parked on front of us, it squeals as it's engine slowly turned off.
"Sir," the man on suit greeted Nesii and opened the car for him.
"Let's go." He handed out his hand and offered to help me. I took it and sat right next to him.
Whilst watching the sceneries outside the window, my weariness catch up with me, as my eyelids started to roll down and dreamland started to appear.
My eyes flickered from the darkness, as I started to regain my consciousness. A white recessed ceiling met my vision the moment I opened my eyes.
Yellow warm lights were also reflecting from the back of the bed's headboard.
If you'd imagine: to walk into a street—cold, warm and fuzzy. If you let the awakening warm yellow hues into your soul, that would be the ambiance within this room. There's calmness, healing, serenity, and optimism.
Neutral shades of colors were painted on the walls, sophisticatedly tidy as if the person living in the place has OCD. Everything is well arranged and elegance run the place.
The only sound that was captured through my ears was the ticking of the clock, that is placed on the top of the ceiling.
I squinted my eyes figuring out where does its hands points out, as it is composed of tiny numbers.
11:00 pm, that's what it says, I panicked and jumped right out of the glass door. I have one hour left to go to the forest and save my mother.
But then the moment I realized, my body fell in a complete air. I screamed from the top of my lungs. Fortunately, my hand still held the railing or I would end up falling down the building.
I look down and my nerves began to feel the thrill of dying, falling to the thousand feet down me. My throat gulped consecutively, my hand began to sweat, as my heart pounded rapidly.
My hand was about to slid off the railing but then, a hand held me tight and pulled me out from danger. I sighed a breath of relief and hugged him.
"What happened?" he asked, his hands felt so freezing cold. His eyes were wide opened, surprised and anxious.
"I thought this is a door way out, I was blinded by the time and the thoughts were caging me."
I stoop down and pressed my temples with both hands, a realization hit me hard that the time he set was suppose to be tomorrow at midnight. I thought it was today, I even almost killed myself.
I need to free these thoughts or in any time it would be the reason of my death. That was the most tragic and traumatic thing happened to me, ever in my life.
If I didn't realized it quickly by that time, I suppose my body will be surrounded by people down the street as my head were crash into pieces.
This is why gaining proper consciousness and focus is needed to make a certain decision, we should not be rush, or it'll result to jeopardy.
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